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Originally Posted By: David Snyder
Hey,
I think this sounds great, especially for a first post.

It is super to have another pop writer hanging around--and I love the overall sound!

Thanks a lot for your nice feedback, David.

Originally Posted By: David Snyder
[...]Is this you singing? Are you in a band? Do we address you as Eleanor? Is this your stage name? What instruments do you play? How long have you been writing? I see you posted the real tracks so that is great.

Answers for your questions:

  1. unfortunately it's not my voice
  2. not in a band
  3. call me B.D. or just Thomas, whatever you like most. Eleanor Lennox is the stage name of one of my projects
  4. I play guitar, keyboards and cajon, but not good enough for any kind of live-performance. I've learned those instruments solely to be able to compose music.
  5. I've started writing music about 15 years ago, but stopped 2011 because my interests shifted and I hadn't much spare time anyway. About a year ago I re-discovered my old passion and started writing again

Originally Posted By: David Snyder
Can you post the lyrics?? smile

I've added the lyrics to my very first post. Thanks for the reminder!

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Originally Posted By: Brad Williams
Hello B.D., and welcome to the forum! I think you've got a nice sound here. Although our types of music are quite different I also consistently mix the drums with not enough volume. The folks here have been very helpful while I've been trying to learn mixing, something I'm very new at.

Hi Brad, thank you for the nice welcome and advice, I appreciated this a lot.

Mixing in general is not a problem for me, I had a little studio and have mixed and mastered songs for local bands.
But when I sold my house and moved back to Germany the studio was part of the deal, and so far I didn't find the time to build a new studio.
And when you mix in an untreated room it's very hard to judge drums (and the low-end in general) of a mix, it's a hit and miss sometimes.

Originally Posted By: Brad Williams
[...]I hope that you also critique others music on here, sounds like you would have a lot to offer. Welcome, I think you'll enjoy it.

I did already smile
There are a lot of genres here where I don't feel at home, but when I think that I've understood a song I try to write something constructive.

Or just write that I like it...

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Great quality production!!! A very cool song presented in a pro sounding recording/mix!! Singer has a really cool voice! Everything works!!! Take care. Greg

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Originally Posted By: Greg Johnson
Great quality production!!! A very cool song presented in a pro sounding recording/mix!! Singer has a really cool voice! Everything works!!! Take care. Greg


Thanks a lot for your nice feedback, Greg smile

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Welcome aboard, B.D.!

Very catchy song. I too hear the Cranberries in the vocal (which is excellent by the way).

As some others have stated, bring up the drums more, but other than that, sounds good.

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B.D.:

I love the sound and feel of this song . . . wonderfully mixed, nice depth. The vocal is great and, in particular, those harmonies are so tight and deep. Just the right touch of reverb. I’ll agree with rayc on the “too much drinks”— it does seem a bit off—and also where it might be nice to throw a change up with a bridge or a step up. But the vibe you have is really compelling. Cool listen!

All my best,

Deej

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Originally Posted By: Deej56
B.D.:

I love the sound and feel of this song . . . wonderfully mixed, nice depth. The vocal is great and, in particular, those harmonies are so tight and deep. Just the right touch of reverb. I’ll agree with rayc on the “too much drinks”— it does seem a bit off—and also where it might be nice to throw a change up with a bridge or a step up. But the vibe you have is really compelling. Cool listen!

All my best,

Deej

Thanks a lot for your nice words, Deej.
I really appreciate that you and all the others took the time to listen to my song smile

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Update:

I finally found some time to work on this song again, and I did a couple of changes:
  • changed the grammar and clunky phrasing, special thanks to rayc. I hope I did not create new problems blush
  • made the drums a couple of dB louder
  • made the vocals (slightly) less loud

I didn't change the structure of the song, whatever I tried (bridge, pre-chorus, rhythmic variations, more dynamics in the chorus) changed the song in a direction I liked less.

I've created a Soundcloud account for this project, so if you're not yet tired of listening to this song: https://soundcloud.com/eleanorlennox/city-punk-blues

Changed lyrics:

Walking down the city
really bored and looking sh*tty
after too many drinks

Waiting for the city
to wake up and to look pretty
having too many drinks
[...]
Do what you want
I don't listen anymore
You're a f*cking waste of time
someone I'll better try to ignore
to ignore, to ignore, to ignore, to ignore

Thanks again for all the feedback I got from you all, you guys'n'girls rock. I really appreciate that!

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