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Beady,
Yes it reads better.
Well done is seeking and accepting guidance without giving up your own ideas.
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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I had no issue understanding the meaning of the words. I don't think there is any logical reason to require anyone to use formal ways of using any language. It is very common when living in Europe to hear mistakes made by non-native speakers. There are a lot of languages in close proximity. Here in the United States, it is more a question of dialects but in some areas, English is not the primary language. I liked everything about the song. I think as time goes forward, this virtual world will become very commonplace. As an artist, I think it is your job to create your version of art and it is our job to interpret the meaning. My guess is that the future will be a collaborative effort between artists of different types. It is pretty difficult to be highly skilled in all the parts needed. In fact, this is what is going on in major film studios. The really cool thing is that you have been able to create both music and video. Good stuff! Billy Just an afterthought. Here is a link to a list of songs that have no discernable meaning in the words used. So your minor deviation should be totally understandable to anyone. Using non-standard language in music is a common device. https://www.bbc.co.uk/music/articles/2d67dd79-7603-46ef-ba55-b46cd2884f8bWho would consider this very understandable? Yet it is considered great poetry. The force that through the green fuse drives the flower Drives my green age; that blasts the roots of trees Is my destroyer. And I am dumb to tell the crooked rose My youth is bent by the same wintry fever.
Last edited by Planobilly; 08/06/22 05:05 PM.
“Amazing! I’ll be working with Jaco Pastorius, Charlie Parker, Art Tatum, and Buddy Rich, and you’re telling me it’s not that great of a gig?
“Well…” Saint Peter, hesitated, “God’s got this girlfriend who thinks she can sing…”
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I had no issue understanding the meaning of the words. I don't think there is any logical reason to require anyone to use formal ways of using any language. It is very common when living in Europe to hear mistakes made by non-native speakers. There are a lot of languages in close proximity. Here in the United States, it is more a question of dialects but in some areas, English is not the primary language. I liked everything about the song. I think as time goes forward, this virtual world will become very commonplace. As an artist, I think it is your job to create your version of art and it is our job to interpret the meaning. My guess is that the future will be a collaborative effort between artists of different types. It is pretty difficult to be highly skilled in all the parts needed. In fact, this is what is going on in major film studios. The really cool thing is that you have been able to create both music and video. Good stuff! Billy Just an afterthought. Here is a link to a list of songs that have no discernable meaning in the words used. So your minor deviation should be totally understandable to anyone. Using non-standard language in music is a common device. https://www.bbc.co.uk/music/articles/2d67dd79-7603-46ef-ba55-b46cd2884f8bWho would consider this very understandable? Yet it is considered great poetry. The force that through the green fuse drives the flower Drives my green age; that blasts the roots of trees Is my destroyer. And I am dumb to tell the crooked rose My youth is bent by the same wintry fever. The poster asked Billy... "Makes perfect sense in my mother language, but might be complete nonsense in English. If the latter I'm gonna kill me. Softly! With this song... Anyway, I'd appreciate your feedback on this because I'm not a native speaker..." There's also a difference when a lyric is deliberately obtuse/impressionistic as opposed to trying to communicate as directly as possible in a 2nd/3rd/4th language. Then there's drug addled as with "In da Gadda da Vida" baby.
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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Hi Ray,
Nothing I said was meant to discount anything anyone else said or to diminish the value of any lyrical suggestions.
There are no "wrong notes" and there are no "wrong words" no matter if they are intentional or accidental. Just perhaps better choices.
It is common for me on an almost daily basis to ask if my choice of words and phrases are normal and understandable. I currently have to communicate in the fourth language I have had to learn and frequently do not know if what I am saying makes any sense. So I hope that I have a little bit of an idea of what the OP is dealing with.
The fact is the lyrics make perfect sense in English. Perhaps even better than the use of the idiomatic expression of placing someone on a pedestal. Also, I am not aware of a single word in the English language that actually rhymes with pedestal. Some close but no cigar...lol
I think there is a great value to phraseology derived from other languages and converted to English. Also, English that originates from other dialects of English and other cultures that speak some form of English.
It is altogether natural to ask for advice on the use of phrases when one is not completely knowledgeable about a particular language and perhaps even more common to ask for feedback concerning lyrics.
The use of unclear language while flying airplanes or defusing a bomb can get you killed...lol Killing you softly with my words...not so much...lol
Sorry, Eddie and I run a race to see who can write the most words in a post...lol
Again, I never intended to discount your lyrical suggestions which the OP obviously liked.
Billy
“Amazing! I’ll be working with Jaco Pastorius, Charlie Parker, Art Tatum, and Buddy Rich, and you’re telling me it’s not that great of a gig?
“Well…” Saint Peter, hesitated, “God’s got this girlfriend who thinks she can sing…”
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Excellent production of both the video and audio. Enjoyed this a lot. Thanks for sharing.
Charlie
BIAB 2025:RB 2025, Latest builds: Dell Optiplex 7040 Desktop; Windows-10-64 bit, Intel Core i7-6700 3.4GHz CPU and 16 GB Ram Memory.
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It’s a cool song and video and the meaning is clear regardless of whether the phrase is one commonly used or not. We enjoyed reading the suggested alternatives.  Synthesizer V is awesome! The RT band and mix are good too. Well done! J&B Thanks a lot J&B for listening to my song and for your encouraging feedback. I think it will be not the last time where I'm unsure about my lyrics, I really love to write in pictures, but not all translate well...
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What a really nice listen! I loved it from first note to last. And that's the best vocaloid I've ever heard. The video is very well executed - very convincing.
I wouldn't worry too much about those two places in the lyric. The total soundscape makes it very enjoyable and we know what you mean.
That was a true pleasure for my ears!
Alan
I agree with Alan and I couldn't have said it any better.
You have mastered the art of synth vocals!
Loved it
PS - don't worry about the lyrics or your English. They both are just fine.
Thanks Alan and Mario for listening to my song and for the positive feedback, I appreciate this a lot. Synthetic voices are actually not THAT hard to master, you just have to treat them like a 'real' singer: - find the best sounding vocal range - emphasize the right syllables - find a rhythmic singing pattern that supports the flow of the song
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Beady,
Yes it reads better.
Well done is seeking and accepting guidance without giving up your own ideas. I have to thank YOU for your constructive feedback, it helped a lot. And even in cases where I might have a completely different opinion I always re-evaluate my point of view. Makes me understand my own approach better. BTW, if it would not be the song title AND the main hook I might probably have kept the original lyrics (after all, nobody complained about Roger Waters' "And everything is green and submarine"). But, to be honest, I don't have the balls for that...yet 
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The poster asked Billy... Sorry, Eddie and I run a race to see who can write the most words in a post...lol All good, I read, absorb and learn from you both. And thanks for the link, Billy...I can't get MMMBop out of my head right now Also, I am not aware of a single word in the English language that actually rhymes with pedestal. I guess a rapper like Eminem could make a 5-minute song with ONLY words that rhyme with pedestal and still get a Grammy for that. But, like him or not, lyrically he's a genius. I'm not
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Excellent production of both the video and audio. Enjoyed this a lot. Thanks for sharing.
Charlie Thanks for listening, Charlie 
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Hi Brian,
Can you give a little description of how the words were formed in the software? I assume "Eleanor" is the name from the software. They are very clear in almost all cases. There also seemed to not be an issue with words of more than two syllables.
After you enter the note pitch and length and the plus sign, are there other tools to control the sound of words?
Billy
“Amazing! I’ll be working with Jaco Pastorius, Charlie Parker, Art Tatum, and Buddy Rich, and you’re telling me it’s not that great of a gig?
“Well…” Saint Peter, hesitated, “God’s got this girlfriend who thinks she can sing…”
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Nice work on this. I really enjoyed it, nothing to add or suggest except thanks for posting this little gem.
Rick
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Nice work on this. I really enjoyed it, nothing to add or suggest except thanks for posting this little gem.Rick Thanks a lot for listening and your nice feedback, Rick.
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Hi Brian,
Can you give a little description of how the words were formed in the software? I assume "Eleanor" is the name from the software. They are very clear in almost all cases. There also seemed to not be an issue with words of more than two syllables.
After you enter the note pitch and length and the plus sign, are there other tools to control the sound of words?
Billy Correct, Eleanor Forte is the name of the voice-bank for Synthesizer V. I liked the name and am a big fan of the voice of Annie Lennox, so "Eleanor Lennox" was born. Her friends call here "Lea" Most Synthesizer V owner prefer the voice-bank "SOLARIA", but for female vocals I prefer the contralto range, and that's where Eleanor shines. As for controlling the voice, you can customize tension, breathing, vibrato, timbre and a couple of other things to your taste. And most important (as I already wrote above): treat synthetic voices like a 'real' singer: - find the best sounding vocal range - emphasize the right syllables - find a rhythmic singing pattern that supports the flow of the song - don't request things they just can't deliver
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I loved the song, and the video. It's amazing that the vocals are synthetic; I would have never guessed.
As for the English "Don't put me on a wall..." It doesn't really mean anything specific to me. While it's a bit different than putting someone on a pedestal, putting something on the wall suggests hanging a trophy. So, simply changing the "a" to "the" could be a fix. The meaning would change a bit from 'don't over-idealize me' to 'don't consider me your possession.'
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I heard this on the SynthesizerV forum - really nicely done. Love the vocals and backing tracks. Catchy pop - I like it!  As you point out, the lyric is problematic - especially because it's the hook, which is where all the attention goes. It makes sense, but it's klunky. One of the things I like about working with SynthV - it's trivial to modify the vocal, save the audio file, load the DAW and re-render the song. So you can go through lots of iterations on the lyrics and test them out. I've actually done that a number of times with songs I've posted - even after posting them. I think the best approach would be to drop the lyric and go with something else that has the same sort of idea, but a different rhyme that doesn't box you in a corner. Or just chalk it up to "live and learn" and move on to the next song. 
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Wow, that was very good and the vox sounded so natural! Good songwriting and the vox fit so well. This is starting to get into the scary phase of music where machines take over. Hope not! We'll be long gone by the time it gets to that.
Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
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that AI voice sounds great
Good song with a catchy melody. I like the chugging rock guitars!
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I loved the song, and the video. It's amazing that the vocals are synthetic; I would have never guessed.
As for the English "Don't put me on a wall..." It doesn't really mean anything specific to me. While it's a bit different than putting someone on a pedestal, putting something on the wall suggests hanging a trophy. So, simply changing the "a" to "the" could be a fix. The meaning would change a bit from 'don't over-idealize me' to 'don't consider me your possession.' Thank your for listening and your feedback, especially the explanation about the different meaning of "a wall" and "the wall". Even when my English is not THAT bad there's still lot of room for improvements. There's already a fixed version, thanks to some forum members the problematic phrase was changed to "don't raise me up so tall". The song title was also changed. Since I've not yet found the time to re-do the video here's an audio-only version: Eleanor Lennox - Don't raise me up
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I heard this on the SynthesizerV forum - really nicely done. Love the vocals and backing tracks. Catchy pop - I like it! Thank you for your time to listen and write a feedback, I appreciate this a lot. As you point out, the lyric is problematic - especially because it's the hook, which is where all the attention goes.
It makes sense, but it's klunky.
One of the things I like about working with SynthV - it's trivial to modify the vocal, save the audio file, load the DAW and re-render the song. It's fixed already, see my last posting above. My audio PC is fast enough to directly use the VST-plugin in Cubase, so I can directly listen to all the changes in real time. Makes modifications really easy.
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