PG Music Home Forums General Discussion User Showcase Let It Out, Let It Shine

https://soundcloud.com/alan-davis-35/let-it-out-let-it-shine?si=ffe9fe986edb4d54994c4f82caace847&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

I hope it is acceptable to post old songs here. I'm working on a set of new songs, but they'll be percolating for a while still. In the meantime...

A father fears his brilliant son is descending into mental illness, and wishes he could get through to his child.
This is the penultimate version of the final assignment in a Coursera lyric writing course. The feedback I received was that the music didn’t match the emotional tenor of the lyrics. I replied, Yeah? Listen to Elvis Costello’s Veronica. Sometimes it works. I also needed to change some of the rhymes in the third verse — it was a lyric writing course, so I guess that feedback was valid. I did a version that addressed the feedback, but I still think I like this one better.
Since it was an interim version of an assignment, I didn’t do much production work — just enough to make it sound presentable.

Style is _SHINSYN.STY 140 bpm

RealTracks in style: 1255:Bass, Electric, PopShiningA-B Ev 120
RealTracks in style: 1264:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm PopShiningA-B Ev 120
RealTracks in style: 1259:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm PopShiningRockA-B Ev 120
RealTracks in style: 1267:Synth Pad, PopShiningA-B Ev 120
RealTracks in song: 1169:Guitar, Electric, Soloist RockMediumBrent Ev 120
RealDrums in Style: PraiseWorshipShine^03-a:Kick, HiHat , b:Snare, HiHat Slightly Open

Mixed in Logic Pro
FX:
Vocals: Logic’s Channel EQ, Waves CLA Vocals, Start It Up preset
Drums: Logic Compressor FET, Live Drums preset
Piano: Logic Compressor FET, Keyboards preset
Ran the mix through PSP VintageWarmer 2, Mix Finalize 3 preset
Living dangerously, I applied no pitch correction to my vocals.

Lyrics:
There was a time, there was a time
Not that long ago
You had a radiant smile
light up everywhere you go
We knew that you'd excel
just believe in yourself
But then it seemed to fade away

I look at you today
It seems like you're in pain
What's happened to the spark
What's made you go so dark
Your voice has gone astray
Your charm has left the stage
Why did you have to fade away

Let it out, let it shine
Don't hide your light under a basket
Let it out, let it shine
Show us who you are, that's all that we're asking

I hope you know we're here for you 
Any thing that we can give or say or do
You don't have to do this all alone
You are loved

Your future's in your hands
Create a new sunrise
Chase away the clouds
Let's see the joy in your eyes
I think I see a flicker
A sign of a change
Now's the time to come alive

Comments, critiques, fawning praise all welcome.