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https://soundcloud.com/alan-davis-35/let-it-out-let-it-shine?si=ffe9fe986edb4d54994c4f82caace847&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharingI hope it is acceptable to post old songs here. I'm working on a set of new songs, but they'll be percolating for a while still. In the meantime... A father fears his brilliant son is descending into mental illness, and wishes he could get through to his child. This is the penultimate version of the final assignment in a Coursera lyric writing course. The feedback I received was that the music didn’t match the emotional tenor of the lyrics. I replied, Yeah? Listen to Elvis Costello’s Veronica. Sometimes it works. I also needed to change some of the rhymes in the third verse — it was a lyric writing course, so I guess that feedback was valid. I did a version that addressed the feedback, but I still think I like this one better. Since it was an interim version of an assignment, I didn’t do much production work — just enough to make it sound presentable. Style is _SHINSYN.STY 140 bpm RealTracks in style: 1255:Bass, Electric, PopShiningA-B Ev 120 RealTracks in style: 1264:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm PopShiningA-B Ev 120 RealTracks in style: 1259:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm PopShiningRockA-B Ev 120 RealTracks in style: 1267:Synth Pad, PopShiningA-B Ev 120 RealTracks in song: 1169:Guitar, Electric, Soloist RockMediumBrent Ev 120 RealDrums in Style: PraiseWorshipShine^03-a:Kick, HiHat , b:Snare, HiHat Slightly Open Mixed in Logic Pro FX: Vocals: Logic’s Channel EQ, Waves CLA Vocals, Start It Up preset Drums: Logic Compressor FET, Live Drums preset Piano: Logic Compressor FET, Keyboards preset Ran the mix through PSP VintageWarmer 2, Mix Finalize 3 preset Living dangerously, I applied no pitch correction to my vocals. Lyrics: There was a time, there was a time Not that long ago You had a radiant smile light up everywhere you go We knew that you'd excel just believe in yourself But then it seemed to fade away I look at you today It seems like you're in pain What's happened to the spark What's made you go so dark Your voice has gone astray Your charm has left the stage Why did you have to fade away Let it out, let it shine Don't hide your light under a basket Let it out, let it shine Show us who you are, that's all that we're asking I hope you know we're here for you Any thing that we can give or say or do You don't have to do this all alone You are loved Your future's in your hands Create a new sunrise Chase away the clouds Let's see the joy in your eyes I think I see a flicker A sign of a change Now's the time to come alive Comments, critiques, fawning praise all welcome. 
Last edited by Chimble; 08/18/22 10:25 PM.
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Hey, welcome to the forum, Alan. I'm glad you stuck to your feelings, man. This is a good one. Maybe they were just looking for something smart to say for a better grade or to justify their teaching abilities, and as often happens in cases like that, they said something stupid. Maybe it was because you sounded so happy singing, "It seems like you're in pain." But the song as a whole fits so well lyrically and musically. You're right, you don't need no stinking pitch correction. I often make the song worse when I try to fix it.  There's a lot going on in the mix, and it all comes through well. Oh, yes, we haven't heard your old ones, so for me they are all new. Keep 'em coming.
Last edited by BabuMusic; 08/19/22 03:30 AM.
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The age of the song doesn't matter. Jump in and post more.
Cool tune. Has a very distinct 80's rock groove to it.... very reminiscent of THE CARS. Nicely done.
Went back and reread the OP.... the topic is interesting. Just recall that quite a bit of Pink Floyd's music was written on this topic as they watched helplessly as their original guitarist Sid descended into the the darknesss. Several of their big hits were the result of putting that pain into verse and song.
Last edited by Guitarhacker; 08/19/22 03:34 AM.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Hey, great job Alan.
This is very well produced!
I can't wait to hear more from you.
I really enjoyed these lyrics too.
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I think it's a cool song and I don't think that there's a problem with the music and the lyrics, they go together quite well.
And you wrote a killer chorus.
They only thing I might probably change is in the chorus, the pause after the "under a basket" phrase breaks the rhythmic flow.
I would put the second "let" directly on the next beat after "basket".
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This is a killer of a song.
Great vocal and lyrics
The mix is fantastic
This all works for me
Two thumbs up
OK, a random thought;
Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who's not buying it?
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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"just enough to make it sound presentable." Pretty presentable to my ears  Alan, Good tune, solid lyrics and clear mix. I don't think you need a pitch correction at all. Thank you for sharing. Misha.
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welcome.
really liked the song build up from start and that center guitar. drums fit perfectly imho.
i like the way the piano comes in.
just an idea 'let it out etc' chorus maybe double the vocals ? i hear femme back up vocs on the chorus.
this is a very nice arrangement with superb emotion.
tasty song. well done.
om
my songs....mixed for good earbuds...(fyi..my vocs on all songs..) https://soundcloud.com/alfsongs(90 songs created useing bb/rb) (lots of tips of mine in pg tips forum.)
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I say good job all around. Keep your creativity going. "Don't hide your light under a basket"
https://soundcloud.com/user-646279677BiaB 2026 Windows For me there’s no better place in the band than to have one leg in the harmony world and the other in the percussive. Thank you Paul Tutmarc and Leo Fender.
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I loved this song, great chorus and well sung. Very catchy. I'm on the fence about the lyrics fitting. I can see how you would get that feedback, but I also think changing things up can take a song to the next level.
Excellent work, looking forward to hearing more.
Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
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Alan,
"...just enough to make it sound presentable"
Certainly, more than that. It's a good production.
(although, some background vocals would be a good addition, I think).
A good mix.
An interesting lyric.
(there are untold number of songs that "work" with music that might be considered to be "at odds" with the lyrical message/intent. they are often more interesting because of it....)
fj
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Nice song. It's got a driving feel to it and is well produced. I agree with Floyd about the possibility of adding some BGV's.
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Thanks, everyone for having a listen, and for your kind comments.
Someday, I'll go back and re-record the vocals with the updated lyrics, and then do a more complete job of producing the track. Someday...
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Hey Alan ...
Welcome to the forum. there's just one letter difference in out names ... I'm Alan David.
A very strong 80s sound that's well presented. Each lyricist feels the lyric in his/her own way. And I'm fine with that. No lyrical problem from m y POV. Very nice use of the BIAN Real Tracks! It's a great introductory song - looking to hear more from you.
I've been to Japan twice ... but many years ago ... in the 60s and again in the 70s. Loved it!
Welcome aboard and hope you stay and give us some more listening pleasure.
Alan
BIAB 2024 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win11*32GB DDR5*Rhyzen 9745x*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120* Acoustic/Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops
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Hey, Alan, Thank you. Yeah, this particular song was an assignment for a lyric-writing course, so I felt I had to follow the rules of the assignment which was to use rhymes. I don't know what happened in the third verse -- I think kind of lost track of what I was aiming for. The lyrics in the final version probably worked better in the long run. I also changed the music to something less upbeat, but I think I prefer this version as far as the music goes. Wow! Japan in the 60s must have been interesting. I first arrived here in 1976. It was quite a different place then than it is now. Were you here with the military? Cheers! Hey Alan ...
Welcome to the forum. there's just one letter difference in out names ... I'm Alan David.
A very strong 80s sound that's well presented. Each lyricist feels the lyric in his/her own way. And I'm fine with that. No lyrical problem from m y POV. Very nice use of the BIAN Real Tracks! It's a great introductory song - looking to hear more from you.
I've been to Japan twice ... but many years ago ... in the 60s and again in the 70s. Loved it!
Welcome aboard and hope you stay and give us some more listening pleasure.
Alan
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"Hey, Alan,
Thank you. Yeah, this particular song was an assignment for a lyric-writing course, so I felt I had to follow the rules of the assignment which was to use rhymes. I don't know what happened in the third verse -- I think kind of lost track of what I was aiming for. The lyrics in the final version probably worked better in the long run. I also changed the music to something less upbeat, but I think I prefer this version as far as the music goes.
Wow! Japan in the 60s must have been interesting. I first arrived here in 1976. It was quite a different place then than it is now. Were you here with the military?
Cheers!"
Yes, I was in the military both times, but my second visit was personal - just a vacation.
The first time, I was there in February of 1967. I got shot in Vietnam and was sent to Japan for treatment and recovery. After getting out the hospital as an inpatient in Yokohama, I was given a 37-day leave to recuperate. I toured as much as possible. Had a great time. It's a beautiful country.
The second time (August 1976), I was stationed in Germany and took a 2-week leave to visit Japan again. What a change in just 9 years! I can only try to imagine how much it's changed since then!!!
Take care ...
Alan
Last edited by Al-David; 08/21/22 05:42 PM.
BIAB 2024 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win11*32GB DDR5*Rhyzen 9745x*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120* Acoustic/Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops
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Hi Alan
Cool song
Sounds great
Really fun to listen to
Great work
Many greetings
Andi ;-)
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Thanks, Andi. Hi Alan
Cool song
Sounds great
Really fun to listen to
Great work
Many greetings
Andi ;-)
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