Originally Posted By: Dewey_MI
I agree with others that this is a very nice production with a wonderfully, soothing vocal performance.

Thanks - Natalie has a nice voice and in the future I'll see what her upper range is like.

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Regarding the melody, my ear was ready to hear a change to a chorus where the third stanza currently resides. Really lifting up that first line might be something to consider.

Yeah, there's a sameness to the melody that could be better addressed. It's not so much a problem when there is a chorus, as that brings in variety and contrast. And normally, a verse isn't usually that melodically adventurous.

But lacking a distinct chorus and a fairly consistent arrangement, it's more of a problem here.

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Regarding the rhyme, scheme: You have pieces that might work together already (just an example, not meant to be a rewrite).

Heh. I'm not that worried about the rhyme scheme, I just thought I'd acknowledge that I wasn't even close to rigorous to any sort of scheme while writing this. smile

Na zdrowie! (BTW, I'm holding a Coke Zero wink )

-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?