The multi track vocal leans heavily to the left in the verse and centres in the chorus.
Good music though you're vocal is out for the third verse I think.
There are a couple of spots where you've piled syllables on top of each other where a lyric edit may have helped.

The narrative confused me - your preamble referred to WWI & grandfather in a sub: HMS Couragous was lightly armoured & lightly armed battleship/cruiser that survived WWI & became an aircraft carrier which was later sunk by a German sub in 39 and the Fairy Swordfish were the ship mounted torpedo carrying biplanes of WWI.
The details, I suppose aren't as important as painting a picture but there're some significant time & situation changes that appear.

The song sounds good, the chorus vocal hook works and a little vocal mix tweaking may make it sound even better.
Good to have family history in song.

Last edited by rayc; 11/11/22 11:54 AM.
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe