PG Music Home Forums General Discussion User Showcase Gonna be lonely, a Bluesy rocksong

Hi everyone,

I decided to refresh an old song of mine (2018). I always loved the melody, that's why. But I noticed the original song was spoiled by too much reverb, it was too long and the lyrics also needed some brushing. Now it is 1.5 minutes shorter, has a new chorus and harmony vocals.
It is called Gonna be lonely, https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130/gonna-be-lonely-r

In a way the lyrics are meant to be a bit funny, although I still don't like lonely nights...
Let me know what you think of it.

Hans

An update on this song (20th of nov): The majority of the posters wanted the lead guitar to be much softer when they played together with the vocals. I said I liked it how it was, but I think I lost it. So in an update of the song I removed those solo parts.
Still I think it was nicer after all...
===============================
The lyrics:
It's gonna be lonely
(c) 071122, Birchwood / HwBerkhout

Oh, lonely me

You found out this evening
what happened
between our silky sheets
I had filthy feet

You don't have to ask me
how I know
Your eyes have that piercing, scary light
Aah, it's better have a lonely night

Chorus
I am facing a lonely night
A lonely day too
But it's gonna be lonely
Also for you

What to do now?
Who's got to go?
Our hands are free
But it ain't me

It's so cold now
It starts raining
And I was kicked outside
Aah, looks like I lost that fight

chorus
I am facing a lonely night
and lonely day too
But it's gonna be lonely
Also for you

=solo=

Can't we talk it over
and start again?
Maybe in your heart some love will hide
Aah, I hate those lonely nights

Chorus (2x)
I don't want no lonely nights
Or lonely days /too
They are so lonely
Please stay / for me and for you

Solo: Oh, it's gonna be lonely
between you and me
====================================
Technical information
Style: MERFOLK.STY (Mercury Retrograde Rock)
Key: C Tempo: 100 bpm

RealTracks: 1433 :Bass
RealTracks: 2157 :Piano, Elektrisch Vintage
RealTracks: 2930 :Guitar, Acoustic
RealTracks: 3181 :Guitar, Acoustic
RealTracks: 2158 :Guitar, Elec.Funky Groove
RealTracks: 2690 :Guitar, Elec. Solo
RealDrums : PopRock8ths-01-ClHtSnr,OpHtSnr [Multi]

Several loops used in Logic Pro
Vocals: me

Nice song, Hans, very catchy. Good vocals and the lyrics did indeed have a sense of humor. Often that lead guitar fit in real nice, but a few times it was stepping on the vocal. Good job, definitely worth revisiting.

Hans,

I feel you did a fine job refreshing this song from the past! It's got a cool funky R&B vibe that I like! Your vocals are great as always! Glad to see you still posting songs!

Thanks, Torrey

Hans,

An intriguing write.
Kept me wondering - why were your feet filthy? HA!

Good tracks. Well mixed.

Really like the chorus. Those vocals shine!

Keep 'em coming.

fj

Hullo Hans.
It is an amusing piece with the filthy feet line. :-D
I would chop out the sax and other instruments where they interrupt the vocal.
I would also lift the vocal volume a little and use less reverb on it.

Vic

Awesome lyric Hans. Got a really chuckle from them. Super vocal. Really well done mix. Loved how the drums sit in the mix. Loved the thump of the kick. Well done...

Hi TM,

Thanks for listening and commenting the song.



TM: Liked what you wrote, but about the lead and the vocals? I did that on purpose. Of course I lowered the volume of the lead when the vocals came in, but I liked the mix. I agree, not everyone thinks I should do that. I listened again and lowered the volume of the lead a bit more on places they still sounded a bit too loud. Maybe I can satisfy you with this answer? A bit, at least?

Have a nice day,

Hans

I like the tune. Good job refreshing and getting it posted again. Enjoyed my listen.

Charlie

Yeah, I love the melody, too, Hans, and I definitely hear the humor. I hear a lot of good stuff in there. Maybe the soloist is a bit too loud, especially in the fills with the vocals. (No need to say that's just an opinion, right?) That's a pretty cool opening --the "oh, lonely me" before the song really takes off. Harmonies are good and well-placed. On my second spin and I second my opinion of that guitar. You make lonely nights seem to be a good thing because the song is so good and full of life.

Nice lyrics, although I felt that "you" of the story was treated like a dog
Very good combination of acoustic and funky guitars.
Solo guitar is also nice addition, okay it fights with the vocals during couple of lines, but I got used to it after several listens, so that is not a real problem.
Good passionate vocals fit the message.
Very catchy melody, both in the verse and chorus parts.

Janne

Love the sound and the song.

You can put me in the category of people who don't like to hear lead guitar competing with vocals. But you can't please everyone, so you may as well please yourself first.

But that's a minor nit. Fun song!

Hello Torrey,

Thanks for your comment on the song!



And about your last line; I'm not dead yet ;-)
I have a lot of musical plans and songs to come (new and remixes).
As long as people like them...

Hans

Hi Floyd and Vic,

You both are intrigued by the filthy feet...



Floyd, luckily for me you didn't comment on the lead guitar battling with my vocals.
I'm counting who liked or disliked that issue. The 'likes' still have the majority, so I wasn't that mad (yet)
I liked the idea starting with the 'silky sheets'because than the thoughts of most will go to something different than those filthy feet.
But my real thoughts about making these lyrics were with the case intself. How many times fights or quarrels start with unimportant issues and growing bigger an bigger. Back in 2018 this was the same as now :-)




Hi Vic, The filthy feet issue is explained in my answer to Floyd, but I bet you would have guessed it.
About the other part of your post; I didn't use a sax, only the lead guitar. I knew it would raise questions, but I liked the tiny interference myself. Now I'm counting the 'pro' and 'con'votes ;-)
And I did what you asked about the volume and reverb, although I didn't hear too much reverb in my version. In the version of 2018 that reverb was a big problem. But thanks!


I wish you both a very nice and creative day,
Hans

Nice one Hans,
I definitely wouldn't lift the vocals - they're pretty loud already.
Typical tongue in cheek/silk & dirty feet sly humour I've come to expect from you.
I like the guitar licks that complete lines for you...I'd be inclined to reduce them a little though.

Good song, excellent vocal!

Guitar is good, too loud in places for my tastes, and it's not often you hear a guitar player saying the guitar is too loud!

But didn't take away from my enjoyment of your song, good one, Hans.

Hi Scott, Charlie and Marty,

Thanks a lot for your posts!
Meanwhile, a 'battle' was going on over lead guitar and vocals in this piece of the forum.
I think I lost it and changed the song a bit. Every part where the lead guitar was playing along with the vocals is removed now.
Although none of you complained about it. Oh, yes, Marty did ;-)



Scott, thanks for this nice compliment! I had to look up what a chuckle meant. That almost gave me one too!
That thump needed some software to get it right...



Charlie, as I wrote I refreshed it even more...
but you liked it already. Thanks for that!



Marty, I wrote in an edit of my introduction post I lost the fight on the lead guitar versus the vocals. it took me a while to give in, but it proofs I can listen...
But with the last part of your post (the second spin) in mind it was a real struggle for me, as you can imagine ;-)


Have a nice day all of you and thanks again,
Hans

Hi Janne, David, Ray and Dave,

Thank you for listening and commenting on this song.
Probably because so many songs are now on the forum, the attention is a bit low, but I'm happy with your reactions.
Especially because they were nice ;-)



Janne, you wrote I treated her (the 'you') as a dog. But no, I did not!
I had filty feet, she became mad, had scary eyes and kicked me out of the house.
Now who was treated like a dog???
I'm glad I was able to sing about it. A normal person would cry...

About the lead guitar: I liked it, but obviously no one else. So yesterday I accepted my defeat and deleted the solo parts that conflicted with the vocals.
I think I'm treated like a dog here as well... But I carry it as a man.
And thanks for the compliments!



Hi Dave, your minor nit is gone now. I changed it all, so I pleased you, instead of myself. Ain't that nice?
And thanks too for your nice words on the song.



Ray, It took me some time to let you get used to my kind of humour, but you did! although 'sly' humour...?
You were one of the few not getting ill of the competition between the lead guitar and my vocals.
But as I said to the others, I threw in the towel (if that's the right expression in English) and made it a proper solo.
At first I lowered it'svolume and of my vocals too, but than Dave's post came in...
Thanks for your kind words, Ray.




Dave, your post was the one that made me decide to alter that solo. When you, the superiour solo player, say such things I know I had to adjust my own taste on this issue. It's done now.
And thanks for how you judged the song itself.

Well, I think this was all there is to say about this song.
Thank you for your replies and I hope you will have some fun creative days like me,
Hans

Hans. I liked the funky feel. Your vocals are very good. I enjoyed my listen. Now i think I'll go wash my feet before I get in trouble with the wife, Tom

Hello Tommyad,

Thanks for listening!



Tom, I think it's a wise idea to wash your feet before going to bed. Unless you don't have silky sheets...
Then you can do whatever you want. She won't notice (I think).

Hans

Love the lyrics!

I dig the groove and the mix of instruments.

I enjoyed the listen. Good one.