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enjfb Offline OP
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Hi Everyone,
I wrote this song last year - real tracks backing plus CVP309 piano.

http://www.box.net/shared/c47um3loza

The words are:

You wanna capture my face
As I walk around
Even if I'm on a wild goose chase
You say it's only to make me secure
Not because you think I'm some provocateur
But oh
I've got a mind of my own

Chorus
I see through your lies
No need for any disguise
I'm not swallowing my pride
Don't take me for a ride
Don't get in the way
What more can I say

You wanna store my profile
Update it with time
Even with an innocent life style
You say security will be high
Not admitting someone could be a spy
But oh
I've got a mind of my own

Chorus

Solo

Chorus

Please don't tell me what I should do
With your marble voice
I'll pay the price when the bill comes due
I think I know what's right from wrong
Don't stick your nose in where it doesn't belong
But yes
I've got a mind of my own

Chorus

Please don't tell me you'll listen more
To what we think
There's no use pretending anymore
I think the control you try to impose
Will fail as almost everyone knows
But oh
I've got a mind of my own

Chorus
Solo
Chorus

Hope you like it and any comments will be appreciated

Jim

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Hi Jim,

I admire you for being such a prolific song writer The backing and musical arrangement of this song are first class! For me, it seemed long to listen to and I found that my mind started wandering after a while. Ultimately, though, the song only has to please you and if you are satisfied with it, that's all that matters.

Keep on writing,
Noel


MY SONGS...
Audiophile BIAB 2025
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enjfb Offline OP
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Hi Noel
Thank you for listening and your comments - much appreciated. I think it is a little long - maybe too many choruses.
Jim

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Well I'm a bit of a dissenting voice from Noel on this one. I really enjoyed it. I find Jim's carefully placed and pronounced vox make an interesting contrast against this blues-based tune.

And as to the length, well yes it could be cut a little but these is an organic effect at work too so overall I would leave it.

I enjoyed this one far more than some of your other recent stuff Jim.

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Posts: 516
Quote:

Hi Jim,

I admire you for being such a prolific song writer The backing and musical arrangement of this song are first class! For me, it seemed long to listen to and I found that my mind started wandering after a while. Ultimately, though, the song only has to please you and if you are satisfied with it, that's all that matters.

Keep on writing,
Noel


Hi Jim,

I have the same thoughts as Noel above.

But there's only one person who decides if the song is too long or not.

Cheers

Superbron


It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
www.soundclick.com/superbron
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enjfb Offline OP
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Hi Marc,
Pleased you liked it Marc and thanks for listening - your comments are much appreciated.
Jim

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enjfb Offline OP
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Hi Superbron,
Thanks for listening and your comments - always appreciated.
Jim

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Jim, this is your best to date! Great lyrics and vocals!

I do agree that it is a little to long. You have the chorus repeating six times. Eliminating the choruses before to and after the first solo might work. Then either eliminate the chorus just prior to the second solo or eliminate the solo and the last chorus. Off course this is just my opinion and I do like it as is.


It takes courage for a man to admit his wife was wrong.

64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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enjfb Offline OP
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Hi Mario,
Thank you for your kind comments and your suggestions on shortening the song I think makes good sense. Your comments much appreciated and thanks for listening.
Jim

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