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#743985 12/11/22 11:24 AM
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Hi, all:

I hope everyone is doing well heading into the Holiday Season. I’ve been a bit MIA from the board, and equally non-productive on the music making front . . . but am hoping to catch up on some listens before and during the holidays. Everything I’ve heard today, to no surprise, was just excellent. What a wonderful collection of talented folks we have making music here!

Here’s the only thing new I’ve penned in the last couple of months—nothing ground-breaking, but hopefully it gets me going in a better direction. Suggestions on the production are welcome as always! Hope you enjoy the listen.

My best to you all—

Deej

Here’s the song:

BRING IT BACK HOME

NOTE: I've decided to go with the revised version of the song and have removed the link to the original version, which included the BGV call backs in the second chorus. I agree with the comments below that the second version works better. Thanks all folks for pointing me in the right direction.

Here are the lyrics:

Snow in starlight
December moon
Voices singing Silent Night
Outside my lonely room
And I find myself remembering
A sweeter spring and everything that’s you
And I’m wishing more than anything
You’re wishing for me, too

Bring it back home
Your love to me
I’m so alone
You’re all I need
Bring it back home
Into my arms
And let the light of love
I’ve been dreaming of
Fill me up and
Heal my broken heart

And I watch the carolers amble
Down the drive and towards the hill
Past the Christmas candle
I keep burning on the window sill
And I hope it serves as a guiding light
To lead you back, keep me in sight, and still
Well, I know it’s not for anything
But I’m hoping that it will

And here’s the band:

RealTracks 1036: Bass, Electric, NorthernRockBallad
RealTracks 1690: Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm PopPromise
RealTracks 1037: Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm NorthernRockBallad
RealTracks 1038: Guitar, High-Strung Acoustic, Rhythm NorthernRockBallad
RealTracks 1596: Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming Pop16ths Ev16 065
RealTracks 3198: Guitar, Acoustic, Soloist PopBalladBrent Ev 065
RealDrums: PopRock8ths^02

Last edited by Deej56; 12/12/22 04:32 PM.
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Bittersweet lyrics. Your vocals brings out the emotional experience of each word.

Melody is so satisfying. this song is better than you think.

My only suggestion, which is just a matter of personal preference, is that you don't need the answer-back vocals. Two things: You've got the chops to pull of the vocal build (which you did). They take away from your lonesome vocal. I'm curious to how it would sound without the BG vocals.

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DJ, I find this simply excellent! Lyrics, vocals, melody it's all top shelf.
Just 2 personal taste nits that in my mind would knock this out of the park.
1. A Female vocal in the mix on the last 2 choruses to increase the group effect
2. A short guitar or keyboard solo. The melody is so good that my ears were hoping for a solo

A VERY enjoyable listen man, great job.


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Bitter sweet one Deej,
Personally I'd be inclined to cut some of the click in the kick and cut a notch at 70 as well as 120Hz in the bass to allow some of the kick's suv through.
I get the added vocal parts - they reflect carolers part singing xmas songs.
Maybe enhance that melodic guitar part in the long intro.
Lovely stuff.


Cheers
rayc
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Gorgeous ballad!

Once you hear that compelling voice, you have no choice but to listen.

Rob


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DJ,Your signature vocal sound just draws you in. Very well sung. Way to deliver the message. Well written and I really liked the way thee bass wasn't always on the root. It gave a lot of flavor to the sentiment. Excellent listen, Tom

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Really nice tune sung passionately. It deserved a real choir in it but I'm sure that wasn't in the budget. Happy holidays to you, Deej!


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Hi, folks:

Thanks for the comments so far . . . good stuff here and incredibly helpful. I'll circle back with more in depth comments on the feedback from all, but two things that immediately struck me based on Ezekiel's and Bass Thumper's feedback:

I suspected that the final two choruses were too busy. So, Ezekiel, I totally get your comment. And based on it I've done an alternative version, which I'm not going to post just yet, that removes the call back chorus in the second chorus.

Bass Thumper: The role of the acoustic solo guitar grew as I worked on the song. Originally, it wasn't in the intro (or even in the song at all), but given the length of the intro, I decided to add it to provide some listener engagement . . . and liked it enough that it became more prominent in each version I worked on. So I get your desire for a solo, but the length of the song (at 4:30 plus as it stands) just doesn't afford it. BUT, in the new version, I married your comment to Ezekiel's, and dialed up the acoustic solo to essentially replace the call back chorus in the second chorus.

I think it's a better version . . . cleaner and less busy, while retaining the harmonies and complimentary melodies I heard in my head. HOWEVER, I'm going to wait to post the revised version until I get a few more comments, just to see how others react, and because I'd love to hear their reaction to the revised version in contrast.

Thanks much for the helpful feedback!

Deej

EDIT: Screw it . . . posted the alternative version separately for contrast. Have at it folks!

Last edited by Deej56; 12/11/22 08:41 PM.
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Deej:

A very pleasant surprise in how the song started ... "straight off the bat", as it were, with those inverted, off-root chords. It got my attention straightaway, letting me know that a story was ready to be told.

Your voice comes in. Yes, it tells a story. The lyrics are stunning. But there's another quality to it, too ... the storytelling, the lower register (you're often up in the rafters, so it was wonderful to hear you an octave lower, also :-) ) ... and something else I can't quite pinpoint and/or express in words ... but it keeps one's attention all the time, it certainly kept mine.

I like the harmonies, too - nothing wrong with them at all. They add warmth to the song.

You go up an octave, towards the end. Because you kept us waiting for that for longer than usual, it really works, as does the return to a lower register, which is like a whisper, at that point.

HOWEVER: this song is much more than the sum of its parts. It's got that magic that cannot be canned, otherwise we'd all be rich. You say it's "nothing groundbreaking" - I disagree. It's somewhat of a new sound for you, I find - whilst retaining that trademark Deej quality - and it feels like you've gone up a notch with everything. It's so hard to pinpoint what it actually is ... argh ... but it's a top, top notch song that makes me want to singalong with it, and also to listen repeatedly to it. It's so melodic, too ... like I said, much more than the sum of its parts.

The sentiment of the song, the meaning of the lyrics, etc., is so moving, also. After listening a few times, to critique the song from a "technical" standpoint, I've allowed myself to just listen, now. I'm on my fourth listen, and it doesn't get old :-) . I don't think people mention just how good a lyricist you are - it kinda gets lost in between the praise for your musical writing and the praise for your voice, both of which are of course well deserved. But, the lyrics, too ... wow. I'm not even going to quote out of them ... they are ALL stunning.

So much more to say, no idea how to articulate and pinpoint that which I want to say. HOWEVER: a beautiful, beautiful song, deceptively (I suspect) effortless, and a wonderful sentiment to carry in one's heart at Christmas time, when many are so lonely inside and get warmed up in their hearts by such a song as this one. Bravo, Merry Christmas to you and the Happiest of New Years, which I really hope will have you happy with what you write and will have us blessed with even more of your songs.

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Good to see you with a new one, Deej, it's been a while!

Great to hear that signature vocal again, love the passion in your voice.

I listened to your second mix, sounds good to me.

Enjoyed!

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I listened to both versions and I like the second one better, it's a nice song with a good melody and good vocals.
I would probably try to do the best of both worlds, i.e. I would choose the second version and use the counter vocals only at 3:21, not at 3:08.
In general, I think female BG vocals would work better, but it's already fine with your voice.

The mix itself is good, I would just turn down the treble on the guitar strumming at the beginning of the song.

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What a lovely song, Deej. One of your best if not the best.

If I can add to what Rayc suggests, I would like to fatten out the snare where it comes in at around 1:30.
Good one though.

Vic

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Yeah, that signature voice. As many have said, that's the real hook. I'm listening to the first one first. I really like the creative interplay of voices emphasizing the impact of the lyrics.

Man, this second version is better right from the intro. I like that acoustic intro. The mix even seems better, but that may be my enthusiasm for you willingness to listen to Scott and Steve. I definitely agree with Scott about this song being so much better that you seem to think. I also agree that reducing the BGVs lends itself better to the loneliness implied in the lyrics.

This is a song that can be recorded by so many in so many ways and it will always be a great song. Well done, Deej!!


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

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Hi DeeJ
Great X-Mas song
Has a nice mood
Very soulful and thoughtful sung
Also your band is well chosen
Well done my friend
Wish you Merry Christmas and a healthy Happy New Year
Many greetings
Andi ;-)

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You've got another hit on your hands Deej! I liked the first version very much, and thought I'd disagree with everyone on the second version, but after listening I do agree that the second is better. Only you could pull that off and make a better version of something you've done. You've got the entire picture with this one = the emotion, the writing, the vocal, the production = all are just fantastic.

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Deej,
No one sings heartbreak like you; bgv`s or not, when you really bring the song home this is goosebumps good.
I think version 2 is better; but its close.
Please keep posting whenever you can put this much feeling into your songs!

Robert

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DJ.

DJ.

DJ.

This

is

a

masterpiece.

Wow.

Just wow.

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Deej...really a song that captures the sadness and loneliness that many people feel this time of year...man, you really know how to deliver a ballad...your vocals are always full of emotion which brings a believability and honesty to your songs...I like the band you put together and the acoustic work done in the song...because of the pauses between the lines in the verses, I get the feeling when I listen as though your sitting at a desk writing and contemplating each line before it's written...that's really cool!...the chorus melody is so appealing and singable...my only nit would be the repeats on the last chorus...IMO (for what it's worth) I would cut it down to one echoed repeat with enough reverb to place it back in the mix and make it seem like an after thought of the melody line (?)...but Deej...it's good!!


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Ezekiel, Bass Thumper, rayc, Rob, tommyad, TuneMonger, James, Dave, B.D., Vic, Marty, Andi, Brad, Robert, David S., and firesong:

Thank you all a ton for the listens and great feedback. As noted above, I’ve decided to go with the second version—it’s cleaner and I like the lead acoustic guitar serving the same role in essence that the BGV call backs did in the second verse. I still may make some additional changes to this version based on some of the additional comments above—a few thoughts on those:

The Drums (rayc snd Vic): Those drums . . . I think you are both likely right, but I’m not sure I know exactly how to achieve those ends. I did mess around with it a bit, but I think was making it worse, so I stopped. Drums have always been my downfall; I’m usually happy now if I can come close to making them sound like they belong in the song, LOL. I will take another stab at it at some point. I’ll also experiment a bit more with the bass, per your suggestion ray—haven’t quite tried that yet.

The BGVs (Bass Thumper, B.D. TuneMonger and Firesong): Totally agree a female BGV would add another, better element to the song. Unfortunately, not much I can do about that as I’m my only vocal resource. And, yes, TuneMonger, a choir for this would have been awesome, but a similar limitation.

firesong—good suggestion on perhaps making that third chorus a little cleaner as well. I still think there may be an opportunity to do so. Your suggestion might be a way to go. Thanks.

My best to you all—and Happy Holidays all!

Deej

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Deej, I’m no expert but you could try pushing up the EQ db somewhere around the 120 hz mark to fatten up the snare. Or take it down in the mids somewhere.

Vic

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