Hi Elliott,

Nice song and well sung.

Rhyming - David I must slightly disagree with you. The verses have no Rhyming and would definitely benefit IMHO from a Rhyming word at least at the end of the last two lines.

The Choruses have no Rhyming at all and are crying out for some repetition rhymes within the lines and rhyming words at the ends of the lines.

Again IMHO I think too many of the songs on this forum lack quality real (as opposed to false) Rhyming.

Best Regards
Nigel


Nigel Spiers
Christchurch, New Zealand
info@nzacoustics.com