I THINK that the lack of "focus" may well be that the lead vocal melody - the female part, moves from centre to left as it goes along in ways that don't seem to reflect anything specific.
When it sits centre after the reintro isn't still a little left of centre in my headphones and seems just a little weak...I'd be inclined to sweep that vocal wav looking for some presence and give that a boost.
Finally, there are lots of strong things in the back ground that need some oomph...perhaps a good compressor on those parts to give them some punch.
Nice work, def. worth putting a little more effort into.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe