David.

i liked the lyrics....and the song concept....
and the paceing.

only a suggestion, but cos i liked the song in my mind i heard it 'harder rocking' but thats just me/an idea.

have a great xmas david and a very happy 2023

om

my songs....mixed for good earbuds...(fyi..my vocs on all songs..)
https://soundcloud.com/alfsongs
(90 songs created useing bb/rb)
(lots of tips of mine in pg tips forum.)