OK, Rob... But remember that you asked!

Plus, everyone else seems to disagree with me, so take a giant grain of salt. laugh

I agree with your "meh". There's no energy, the song is too slow, and there are long gaps between lyrics.

The singer's got no passion in the vocal, but that's partly because there's no feelings in the song, other than that the singer "wanted" to "have her". But there's no emotion to it, just analysis.

The words that are used are cliches that don't sound like an actual broken-hearted person would say, such as:

   suffered the sting
   at last become undone
   But here's the intriguing thing
   Hard to fix your gaze

The beginning of the song says you should look in your heart to find the truth. Or not:

   I've always heard / Look into your heart / The truth is there
   That may be so / I don't really know / Or even care

But after singing that they don't "even care", they then state it's the core idea of the song:

   Every time I look into my heart / I find that she is living there

So: too much "thinking", not much "feeling" in the lyric. And the words that should evoke feelings are used in a cliche sort of way.

Here's what I think the emotional core of the song is:

   Someday you will find that special one,
   And my heart will be undone
   How will I believe this sweet illusion
   That you still love me?

   Edit: To make it a bit less "thinky", I changed the POV as well. wink

But why not ratchet up the the emotions even more? Instead of making him worry about the future where he'll have to confront the illusion that she still loves him, why not make that the motivating element?

   The way you two exchange knowing glances,
   brush back your hair then quickly look away
   I know there's no chances
   you'll bring back the love you took away

Is that helpful? It's just an opinion, feel free to ignore. smile

Last edited by dcuny; 01/06/23 07:18 AM. Reason: Explained why I suggested changing POV
-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?