Hi Deej, man this is some great writing. I didn't listen to the first version so that I could let this one stand alone as you requested. I think it is a very, very good song. I have to be hyper-critical to come up with anything. I think the vocal is just a little bit dry, but I really like it and don't think I'd change anything. I think Musician17 got it right, the vocal sounds worn, wise and mature - fits the song well. As mentioned, I think the writing is terrific. You have a very original way of describing things in your songs that really make them stand out. That being said, I agree with Dan. I don't really follow the "prayer to the world" line, and it's the only place in the vocal that sounds a bit rushed to me. I'm also with Marty on the piano - that came out very well. If it were me, I'd bring the volume of the steel up a little. It doesn't balance well with the lead guitar to my ears. You have to consider however, that I think I have a strong tendency to over-do the steel guitar. Also remember that I'm being hyper-critical, and I think you're better at putting this stuff together than I am, so I could be completely wrong. I really think it's a great song - honest!

Brad

https://soundcloud.com/user-722422510/tracks