Hi Mario, Ray and David,

Thanks a lot for listening and commenting on Forlorn.
And what comments... Very, very nice!

Originally Posted By: MarioD
Hans this is just fantastic.
"Are we just tourists? We never stay" What a great line!
Everything is just perfect in this one.
I'm glad I got to hear this rewrite.


Mario, that is was I meant with my first line above. Thanks, even though it is a sad song.
That 'tourist line' you mentioned, I heard it before some years ago, not like I wrote it, but kind of. I liked it because it changes the perspective.
Glad you liked it too!

Originally Posted By: rayc
You always surprise me Hans,
Your phrasing takes unexpected turns which is refreshing.
In this piece the phrasing of 2nd line in both verse & chorus uses the melody in a way I wouldn't have considered.
It works a treat - Vive la différence.
well done across the board.


Ray, I was stupéfait (stunned) that I was able to surprise you!
Thanks for that. I looked at my lyrics again, after you wrote this. I saw nothing special, but then I saw what you meant.
Nice to notice how you read the lyrics!

Originally Posted By: David Snyder
Hans this is great.
Sounds like Leonard Cohen and Tom Waits and Hans got together for a Co-write!
And they wrote a masterpiece!
smile

Great job.


David, well, you made my day. I showed your post to my sister in Australia, who is an enourmous fan of Leonard C. Not particularly of my songs, so now I could show her he and I were in a team, With Tom Waits. And it was not me saying that, but a famous man from my BiaB forum, you!!
Her reply came a bit like a cold shower though. She repeated she missed Leonard and might consider listening to my song. Haven't heard from her since...
But thanks anyway. You had done your best!

I hope you all have a creative moment these days
I will listen to it,
Hans

Hans Berkhout
(Birchwood)
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130