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Sad song and you have captured well the sadness in the lyrics, the melody and the arrangement. Maybe I was expecting to hear something broken, distortion on the synth or a heart-wrenching guitar solo, but those words speak enough for the fate that no-one deserves.
Natalie has perfect sorrowful voice for the song, she actually fits most of your songs smile Great work with the backing vocals also.
Excellent video! And quite creepy, those woman eyes really express the dying soul, and the woman in the end reminded me of Amy Winehouse...

Janne


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This is a faithful description of an all-too-common condition - I too knew some-one. It's too good to let go by without a word or two about the metre and phrasing. It feels to me as though you settled too hurriedly on the way it scans, shoe-horning the lyric to fit where it doesn't quite feel comfortable, which then draws the listener away from the very deep message. Maybe re-visit the lyric also with this in mind - just as a suggestion, ignore if you wish - in the first line where you write 'down in your mind'- try " 'round, inside your mind' (which also works better I think with the idea of spinning a web) and adjust/shorten/squeeze the delivery to fit the metre - a couple of things like that. I reckon the BPM is perfect and the track is gorgeously sensitive with a great feel of mystery and pathos - you did very well there = warm regards, Nev

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Originally Posted By: BabuMusic
You know I really love this one, BD. Reading your post was the first I learned that she is no longer with us. She would be happy with the love this song would bring her. This is such a good write. The lyrics, as you said can be interpreted differently depending on the listener's life experience, but when the reality of your friend is unveiled they can also be a war cry to abolish abuse of all kinds. It's amazing how good you're getting teaching Natalie to sing. Did I ever mention how good the production is?

Thank you my friend, I really appreciate you taking the time to listen to the song again.
The number of beers I owe you is getting alarmingly large...


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Wow.

Heartbreaking.

Well written, and Natalie's voice suits this song.

Bravo, in every way. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

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Originally Posted By: Guitarhacker
top quality all the way. Very nicely done.

Thanks for listening and your nice feedback, Guitarhacker.

BTW, did you notice that https://www.herbhartley.com/ is down?


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BD this is one sad but powerful masterpiece.
I think the tempo fits the song perfectly.
You did a great job with Natalie however I would love to hear a female sing this with feeling. I think a human can add a lot of emotion to this song where as Natalie can't.
Super mix.


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Originally Posted By: vicarn
Wonderful song with a meaning.
I love it all.

Vic

Thank you for listening and your nice words, Vic. Highly appreciated!


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Originally Posted By: Birchwood
Hi BD,

A wonderful song despite the theme of the lyrics.
I think you did a great job making this song about this problem that is around us.
I just read an article where some of those people, hounted by their own brain asked for euthanasia ('please help me to die'). Heavy stuff!

Your song was by itself wonderful. Natalie sings very, very good, with a nice vibrato in the vocals.
The lyrics went through marrow and bone (as we in the Netherlands say). Do you say the same?

You did a very good job on this song, although I hope you don't have to make an other one...
Hans

PS: the video was very impressing

Thanks Hans for listening and your feedback on the song and video.
I also read an article that said that the suicide rate is significantly higher for people who were abused in childhood. This is indeed heavy stuff.

And, yes, here in Germany we also say "through marrow and bone", seems to have the same linguistic root.


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Hello B.D.,

It's a little ominous video, but I think the lyrics are accurately reflected.
Memories of childhood abuse have a strong influence on the rest of life.
I think it's very difficult to turn those motifs into a song, but you've succeeded.
However, I still find it difficult to listen to such a painful song.
Your AI synth vocal technique is amazing as always.
Thank you for posting your precious song.

Best regards.

Shigeki Adachi

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Professional. Top shelf all around. Terrific vocals and an excellent mix.

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Originally Posted By: floyd jane
B.D.,

An Astoundingly Good lyric. Powerful. Blew me away.

Excellent tracks. Good mix.

This has a kind of Adele-vibe to it. (She could take this to the top of the charts - for a long run)
Natalie sounds good, but at times she is "a bit too even". It is a lyric that deserves to be sung DRIPPING with emotion - I don't think Natalie pulls that off.

Would have like the chorus melody to go to a slightly different place (it has more of a "verse feel" than a "chorus feel".

Don't put too much thought into these "nits". I think this is an INCREDIBLE song.
The lyrics are truly STUNNING.

Truly sorry for the loss of your friend. A tragedy.

fj

Thanks, Floyd, for listening and for your feedback, especially on the lyrics, which are usually my weak point.
I agree with you on both "nits". Those are the comments I learn from

Now I just need to call Adele ... does anyone have her number?


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Originally Posted By: tommyad
BD, I first read the lyrics and I thought how can you write a song that doesn’t rhyme? Well I guess you showed me how. A powerful message song that brings attention to a problem that too often is overlooked. Great work on the production and I continue to be impressed with your ability to make the singer work so well. All around impressive, Tom

Thank you Tom for listening and your kind feedback, I really appreciate it.

Rhymes are completely overrated!! (to be honest, I didn't even realize it until you brought it up).


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Originally Posted By: firesong
Haunting...both the song and video...there is no greater tragedy than being abused whether it's self imposed or imposed by others...beautiful song (melodically and lyrically)...the production of the music and video are top-notch...this is tragically beautiful if I may speak paradoxically...thanks!

Thanks for listening and your feedback, firesong.
I like the phrase "tragically beautiful". Added it to my lyric book smile


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Originally Posted By: PROJECT M
Hi B.D.
Very sad background story
But also really brave to have such an emotional song sung by a synthesizer voice
But the vocals sound pretty good all in all
And lyrics don't always have to rhyme to be really good
Your song proves that impressively
Very good work
Many greetings
Andi ;-)

Thank you, Andi, for your kind words. As I wrote above, I wasn't aware that there were no rhymes.
Maybe it was even good that I didn't notice it....


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Excellent production, deserving of all the prior accolades.

Really well done, lovely work of the Synth V vocal, and well written.

Excellent.

Peter

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Originally Posted By: David Snyder

Nice production Brain.

Thanks for posting.

Thanks for listening and your feedback, David. I always appreciate it!


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You’ve created a powerful video to accompany your excellent lyric. The first verse alone is heartbreaking and then the chorus begins with this:

“I can see the broken soul
behind those empty eyes.”

Like so many folks, we’ve seen that look in the eyes of others and it is always incredibly sad.

The vocals sound great, as does the entire production.

Abuse, whether it is physical, mental, emotional or just neglect has a lifelong effect. Your song addresses the subject powerfully.

J&B

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Very impressive song and video.
Beautiful music and vocals.
Yes, these things should be told about.

My granddad (born in 1898) was a choirboy in the catholic church when he was a child.
He always referred to catholic priests etc. as "those dirty papists".
He never told us what he meant by that and I didn't understand.
Until... al these stories about abuse in the catholic church became clear.
But he was long dead when this came out.
So it's been of all times. It's good that people no longer hush up these things.

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B.D.

Such a sad story. But you did a wonderful job turning it into a song, both lyrically and musically.

Natalie and her backup singers performed brilliantly - you have mastered her vocaloid performance.

Hopefully your friend in a great place and free of the pain and memories.

Alan


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Originally Posted By: Brad Williams
B.D., this is a very good song done very well. I appreciate the personal strife you went through being there and hurting with, and for, your friend, putting all those feelings down in music, and the struggle in deciding to publish it. I have had the unfortunate opportunity of interacting with many similar victims in the past, and therefore have enough pictures in my mind already. For that reason I didn't watch the video, just listened to the song. It is very good and I agree with pretty much all Ray has to say above and appreciate the struggle you went through personally in developing and publishing this. Kudos.

Brad

Thank you, Brad, for your kind feedback and especially for being able to relate to how hard it is to write and release a song like this.


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