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Is my solution to simple post my less than stellar mixes and get feedback on how to improve? Maybe leaning on the experience is a quicker and less painful way to learn this? Kind of like coaches!
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First sorry to hear about your wife. I pray for her full recovery.
Second, the above approach is what I took and in fact is still taking. This is a very friendly site so you will never get a "that sucks" reply. However if you ask for constructive criticism you will/may get many opinions. Been there - done that and gotten many suggestions that have helped me mix.
One last thing, your so called lousy mix or vocal may not be all that bad. Many times I will post some song that I think needs help only to find out people like it as it is. That is true for both here and on Soundcloud.