Cool song, Deej. Man, I really really enjoy this whole thread. As soon as I read Ray's comments, I thought, Yeah, perfect. It kept going with some outstanding suggestions. I love the songs on this forum and the various styles, but the support from others is outstanding. Good advice here and very giving advisors.

Sorry, that was just an aside cuz I was bubbling over with gratitude. Now, on to the song. I agree with many of the suggestions, especially bringing the solo in volume-line with the vocal. For me it's difficult (prolly impossible) to write a song from lyrics --especially someone else's. You chose an outstanding poem. Carroll Kiphen is very talented. And it is a really good song.

I'd say make the various parts more distinctly different with your mix by adding some dynamic changes (not chord changes, but instrument and/or volume changes) in the arrangement. They're already there; just make them more pronounced or something. HAHA! Yeah, right? For most people that would be like telling a pitcher to just use his other arm if he gets tired. But you'll come up with the perfect solution (if it's actually even necessary).

Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@babumusic51
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