Bro,
Here is my two cent offering, because I think the issues you are describing trace back to many factors, not just mixing per se.
Because I have had the opportunity to work and mingle with a lot of songwriters and musicians all over the spectrum, I can say that a successful sound seems to come from the following components.
1.) You are doing something that you absolutely flat-out love to do not something that you are trying to do or forcing yourself to do.
2.) Your love for what you do is displayed primarily by the amount of time that you spend practicing it.
3.) If you want to play the guitar well, for example, you basically have to play it all day long, or as many hours as you can spare if you have a job as most of us do.
4.) Ditto for songwriting.
5.) Ditto for learning how to record a song.
6.) Ditto for learning how to produce a song.
7.) Ditto for learning how to mix a song.
8.) In addition to all the dittos you try and keep a song as simple as you can possibly make it and only add in what is absolutely necessary.
9.) Your "starting place" board has eight tracks. You only go to nine tracks or more if you really have to.
10.) You spend most of your time trying to get a great sound out of the bass and the drums and the vocals. Everything else in the mix lives to add spice and flavor to those tracks and does nothing to overwhelm them.
And finally...
11.) You feel an incredible amount of joy when you are doing all of the things above and it's a sense of pure fun that you could not possibly derive from doing any other thing...Well except for one.
In your daily life, do any of those 11 things apply to you??