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Lovely romantic summer song melts the ice cream on these warm summer days  I enjoyed the interesting chord progression. Nice mellow arrangement with some good guitar selection, I like how the bass and the piano work together. Good vocals already. The start of the chorus sounds bit rushed to me, I'm not sure whether it's the vocal part "I can't" or something in the instrument transition. Janne
Last edited by jannesan; 07/14/23 05:37 AM.
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Thank you kindly, Bass Thumper.
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Scott,
it's cool...it's breezy musically.
Personally the man/woman stuff could be neutralized. No big reason - it's just that man/woman sounds a little clunky to me.
If your voice is struggling then you hide it very well.
Some great suggestions above and when Floyd chimes in with prosody you know he has something to say that's on the money. Thanks, Ray. I'll see what I can do with that section of the lyric.
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Lovely romantic summer song melts the ice cream on these warm summer days I enjoyed the interesting chord progression. Nice mellow arrangement with some good guitar selection, I like how the bass and the piano work together. Good vocals already. The start of the chorus sounds bit rushed to me, I'm not sure whether it's the vocal part "I can't" or something in the instrument transition. Janne Thanks, Janne. I felt that might be the case. I'll trying adding a measure or two between the verse and chorus.
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"I can't disregard you
I can't remove you from my mind
When a man has loved a woman
He can’t leave those years behind
The sky keeps spinning rainclouds
The stars still kiss the sea
My heart doesn't recognize time
When you are here with me"
Our favorite lines of an enchanting write including a stellar melody.
Janice loved the way you sang those last two lines of the quote.
We thought your voice sounded fine.
Perhaps some additional resonance but that is something we always like.
Nice mix with excellent "pop" on the drums.
Enjoyed it!
J&B
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos
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Scott,
This is probably a remake as it sounds absolutely great. Vocals are top notch. Pretty cool structure & excellent set of lyrics. Mix is clear and listens very well. Liked it, and thank you for sharing.
Misha.
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Hi Scott,
Alike as Misha I think do I hear a remake of the original song?
You mention to alter:
- Rerecord vocal.
- Lower key a semitone
- Do something with last note of the bridge. It doesn't seem to transition well.
- Add BGVs. I had some, but I didn't like them, so I'll give it another shot.
But when I hear this song you already did that or elde: WHY???
It's a very good song, with very nice vocals in a good key.
And the mix was good too.
If I could make one suggestion I would end your last words as if you are 'closing' the song.
It fits more with the way you sing before that end.
But of course that's a matter of taste.
For me a real Ezekiel song and I love that,
Hans
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Janice & Bud, Misha, and Hans:
I just got back from a relaxing cruise to the Bahamas, so I just read your posts. Thanks so much for taking the time to listen and comment.
Misha and Hans: This is the original, not a remake yet. I'm waiting a bit until my allergies subside a bit.
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Hi, Scott !
What a superb tune !
Loved it as well as your
super vocals too !✌️
Cheers
Dani
Last edited by dani48; 07/29/23 02:21 AM.
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Hi, Scott !
What a superb tune !
Loved it as well as your
super vocals too !✌️
Cheers
Dani Thank you kindly, Dani!
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I wasn't sure what to expect from your OP....
All in all, not a bad song. And performed well considering the things you had going against you.
I had a difficult time understanding the part about climbing a tree and then it talks about a man and woman in love.... I can't seem to put those 2 things together. Maybe it's just me.
It's certainly got some rather "unique" and surprising chord changes
Last edited by Guitarhacker; 07/30/23 02:28 PM.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Hi Scott
Great song
Your singing sounds very good
Great melody sequences and a very nice background track
Well done
Many greetings
Andi ;-)
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Hi Scott, Read through your song notes as I listened to the song. I thinks it's pretty good the way it is, I like your vocal, but adding some BGV's to the chorus would kick it up a notch. Also read some of the comments. Can't go wrong with heeding any advice you might get from Floyd! Good song, looking forward to hearing the remake.
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Hi Ezekiel's Storm,
Very soft melody full of sensitivity. Very vaporous and pleasant atmosphere. The set pleases. Well done
Kindly regard
Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash
Kindly regards
Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash
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