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An American Tourist in Heidelberg (Wo Ist Die Toilette?)

This is me having a bit of fun. It's my first song in German (not much of it). Please pardon my juvenile sense of humor. You could say this is slightly autobiographical. Years back, I was sitting with a friend drinking a beer outdoors in Heidelberg when I was suddenly afflicted with intense intestinal distress. After some searching, I was able to find the WC, without any disastrous consequences---although it was close. This song will get you up and dancing, maybe even dancing the green apple quick-step.

The choir part at the bridge is me triple tracking all four parts of the harmony--no plugins are harmonizers were used. It isn't perfect, but it has a full sound.

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RT3710 Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm 90sJamRockFunky
RT3337 Piano, Electric, Rhythm FunkJeff
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Drums on Demand/Underground/Gap Tooth Woman
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The guitars panned wide on the left and right are NI Electric Vintage and NI Electric Mint respectively.

Lyrics

Wo ist die Toilette?
Wo ist die Toilette?
Da. Da. Da. Da.
(Huh?)

Wo ist die Toilette?
Wo ist die Toilette?
Da. Da. Da. Da.
(Dein Vater?)

Achtung an alle
Achtung an alle
Gefahr

Mein Gott, mein Gott
Ich scheiße mir in die Hose
Ich scheiße mir in die Hose
Gott in Himmel

Wo ist die Toilette?
Wo ist die Toilette?
Da. Da. Da. Da.

Brief Translation:
Where is the toilet?
There. There. There. There.

Attention Everyone. Danger.

My God, My God.
I am sh*tting my pants.
God in heaven!

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Scott,

What a great piece of original music. A very cool mix of rock, funk & jazz.

The lyrics are hilarious, but you sing them with such conviction. Some great harmony parts.

Excellent - much enjoyed!

Bob

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Hahahaha!
I’m amazed. So different to what I hear from you.
Applause, applause.

Vic

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Cool stuff, Scott! Great groove.

Those wide panned guitars work a treat. Bass sounds great too.

Love the backstory!

Very original, enjoyed.

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Scott,

Putting the lyrics aside for a moment this has an awesome sound! The drums and bass combo are killin'!! That bass sounds wonderful, you did a super job with that as well as everything else in the backing! As for your vocals they are really full sounding just like you said! That's something I always notice about your tracks. The vocals are without exception very strong and really carry the songs! I don't know the German language and don't have the interest to learn it, but it sounds like you know enough to make this fun sounding song happen!

Take care, TB

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Originally Posted By: rsdean
Scott,

What a great piece of original music. A very cool mix of rock, funk & jazz.

The lyrics are hilarious, but you sing them with such conviction. Some great harmony parts.

Excellent - much enjoyed!

Bob


Thanks much, Bob!

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Originally Posted By: vicarn
Hahahaha!
I’m amazed. So different to what I hear from you.
Applause, applause.

Vic


Thanks, Vic. I try to do something a little different every now and then.

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Originally Posted By: BlueAttitude
Cool stuff, Scott! Great groove.

Those wide panned guitars work a treat. Bass sounds great too.

Love the backstory!

Very original, enjoyed.


Thanks, Dave. Glad you enjoyed it.

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Originally Posted By: Torrey Bliss
Scott,

Putting the lyrics aside for a moment this has an awesome sound! The drums and bass combo are killin'!! That bass sounds wonderful, you did a super job with that as well as everything else in the backing! As for your vocals they are really full sounding just like you said! That's something I always notice about your tracks. The vocals are without exception very strong and really carry the songs! I don't know the German language and don't have the interest to learn it, but it sounds like you know enough to make this fun sounding song happen!

Take care, TB


Torrey, thank you for your positive and encouraging words.

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Hi Scott ...

Ha! Funny as heck! Good sounds from everything.

I lived in Germany for almost 12 years and speak reasonably good German. Been to Heidelberg numerous times. I had a band for most of those 12 years we played the Heidelberg Hospital NCO Club at least 7 or 8 times. The castle sure is pretty when they have the illumination!

Anyway, that was such a fun listen. German Pop-Funk about a crappy subject!

Still laughing!

Alan


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TERRIFIC!!! Much fun on so many levels, Scott. Of course I love the bass, but, man, the vocals make this such a gas (sorry). Yep, that was before Google Translator. Now we can ask Where's the bathroom is hundreds of different languages. Such a cool feel. I gotta go.


Enjoy whatever happens!
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Nummer zwei und Nummer eins in Europa.
Wie viele Euro sind noch übrig?
Meine Leiderhosen stinken.

It's a weird thing Scott.
My folks had trouble in Europe with the cost of "public" toilets and the lines for them.
Funny song - well done.

Last edited by rayc; 08/05/23 11:01 PM.

Cheers
rayc
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Originally Posted By: rayc
Nummer zwei und Nummer eins in Europa.
Wie viele Euro sind noch übrig?
Meine Leiderhosen stinken.

It's a weird thing Scott.
My folks had trouble in Europe with the cost of "public" toilets and the lines for them.
Funny song - well done.

laugh

Lederhosen = leather pants
Leiderhosen = unfortunately pants

Based on the song's lyrics, the typo is actually more appropriate. If it was on purpose, or even if it wasn't, two giant thumbs up! Still laughing. Nice way to start a Sunday morning.


Last edited by TheMaartian; 08/05/23 11:34 PM.

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Originally Posted By: rayc
Nummer zwei und Nummer eins in Europa.
Wie viele Euro sind noch übrig?
Meine Leiderhosen stinken.

It's a weird thing Scott.
My folks had trouble in Europe with the cost of "public" toilets and the lines for them.
Funny song - well done.

You don't see them as often now indoors, but men's rooms used to have a wall with a trough at the bottom instead of urinals. Instead of the putzfrau at the entrance just collecting money, they'd be banging your feet with a mop while you were standing at the wall. Kind of surprised me the first couple of times it happened in Germany in '71.

Those walls had buttons on them that would spray water in a sheet along the wall every now and them. Occasionally, some enterprising dude would jam a piece of gum onto the button, and water would spray all over the room. That also happened to me once. When I came back out into the bar soaking wet, my German friends laughed their butts off. I always checked for gum first after that. wink


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Originally Posted By: Ezekiel's Storm
An American Tourist in Heidelberg (Wo Ist Die Toilette?)

This is me having a bit of fun. It's my first song in German (not much of it). Please pardon my juvenile sense of humor. You could say this is slightly autobiographical. Years back, I was sitting with a friend drinking a beer outdoors in Heidelberg when I was suddenly afflicted with intense intestinal distress. After some searching, I was able to find the WC, without any disastrous consequences---although it was close. This song will get you up and dancing, maybe even dancing the green apple quick-step.

The choir part at the bridge is me triple tracking all four parts of the harmony--no plugins are harmonizers were used. It isn't perfect, but it has a full sound.

The Wrecking Crew
RT3710 Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm 90sJamRockFunky
RT3337 Piano, Electric, Rhythm FunkJeff
RT2622 Organ, Rhythm FunkSwing
RT2157 Piano, ElectricVintage, Rhythm FunkyGroove60sJohn
RT2619 Organ, Rhythm Funk
Drums on Demand/Underground/Gap Tooth Woman
Native Instruments Prime Bass
The guitars panned wide on the left and right are NI Electric Vintage and NI Electric Mint respectively.

Lyrics

Wo ist die Toilette?
Wo ist die Toilette?
Da. Da. Da. Da.
(Huh?)

Wo ist die Toilette?
Wo ist die Toilette?
Da. Da. Da. Da.
(Dein Vater?)

Achtung an alle
Achtung an alle
Gefahr

Mein Gott, mein Gott
Ich scheiße mir in die Hose
Ich scheiße mir in die Hose
Gott in Himmel

Wo ist die Toilette?
Wo ist die Toilette?
Da. Da. Da. Da.

Brief Translation:
Where is the toilet?
There. There. There. There.

Attention Everyone. Danger.

My God, My God.
I am sh*tting my pants.
God in heaven!

Really nice song, Scott! Love the bass line you picked. And the "Self Service" sign on the Soundcloud page is priceless!

Last edited by TheMaartian; 08/05/23 11:39 PM.

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Scott...that was weird and wonderful...great track! a universal theme indeed! not your usual fare but when you gotta go...you gotta go!


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What a cool funky song, I hadn't realized before how well German fits into funk music smile
Great groove and the electric guitars sound excellent.
Message is clear (or sh*tty, which way look at it) and funny, though seriously this can happen to a tourist anywhere.
That chorus is hilarious and bit scary laugh
Nice to hear your funkier creativity smile
Now after hearing this, I feel tempted to put out my The Dirtiest Funk In The World song...

Janne


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Originally Posted By: Al-David
Hi Scott ...

Ha! Funny as heck! Good sounds from everything.

I lived in Germany for almost 12 years and speak reasonably good German. Been to Heidelberg numerous times. I had a band for most of those 12 years we played the Heidelberg Hospital NCO Club at least 7 or 8 times. The castle sure is pretty when they have the illumination!

Anyway, that was such a fun listen. German Pop-Funk about a crappy subject!

Still laughing!

Alan


Thanks, Alan. I've only been over there a few times. My German is limited to the classes I had in college and what I learned from my grandparents/

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Originally Posted By: BabuMusic
TERRIFIC!!! Much fun on so many levels, Scott. Of course I love the bass, but, man, the vocals make this such a gas (sorry). Yep, that was before Google Translator. Now we can ask Where's the bathroom is hundreds of different languages. Such a cool feel. I gotta go.


I enjoyed your puns, Marty!

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Originally Posted By: rayc
Nummer zwei und Nummer eins in Europa.
Wie viele Euro sind noch übrig?
Meine Leiderhosen stinken.

It's a weird thing Scott.
My folks had trouble in Europe with the cost of "public" toilets and the lines for them.
Funny song - well done.

Ha! Thanks, Ray. When I used to take students on trips to Europe, pre-pandemic, our tour guides would manage, most of the time, to direct us to the free toilets.

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