Previous Thread
Index
Next Thread
Print Thread
Go To
User Showcase
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 617
Journeyman
OP Offline
Journeyman
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 617

Here's a novelty song about deer hunting I recently wrote and would appreciate constructive criticism on regarding lyrics and production. Sorry, vocal performance is limited to me (I'm cheap) so any suggestions here will fall on deaf ears. I will post the BIAB info when I get back into my studio. Thanks for taking the time to give me your honest thoughts.


Oh Deer (SoundCloud Link - click here)

User Showcase
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 5,065
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 5,065
Ha, I love the lyrics, Dewey. Not sure how the deer would feel about the cleverness. really cool melody to go with them. I especially like how you tie the bridge in with the rest of the song. Hey, I know you don't want to hear this, but I think the vocal was perfect --the right amount of predatory feeling sung with tongue in cheek.


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@babumusic51
SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/marty-straub
Band in a Box, Reaper, Cakewalk, Ozone 12, EZDrummer
User Showcase
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 10,858
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 10,858
Cool song. I like the idea. Since you're a songwriter .... I'll say this......

Some of the lines are about a girl, others are about grilling some venison.... the only issue I see is the continuity or disconnect, between the two different things.

It's not quite to the "man that was brilliant" stage. It's at the great idea, now lets get it polished up stage.

In the first verse you pretty much set the scene, but that chorus and second verse.... kinda like Hannibal Lector plays country music.... It was kinda creepy sounding..... maybe that's just me seeing it the wrong way but, hey... it put a smile on my face but I'm known for some dry, sick humor at times.

Good tune, I just think it needs more work....


You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com
Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
User Showcase
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 2,560
Veteran
Online Content
Veteran
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 2,560
It's a good lyric but I agree about the girls and grilling meat association.
Almost there with this one.

Vic

User Showcase
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 5,665
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 5,665
Dewey,

Man you are a heck of a songwriter! Every tune you post is always high quality work with a catchy and memorable chorus! Love the acoustic driven backing you chose! Great vocals!

Thanks, TB

User Showcase
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 617
Journeyman
OP Offline
Journeyman
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 617
Originally Posted By: BabuMusic
Ha, I love the lyrics, Dewey. Not sure how the deer would feel about the cleverness.


Thanks Marty

Originally Posted By: Guitarhacker
Some of the lines are about a girl, others are about grilling some venison.... the only issue I see is the continuity or disconnect, between the two different things.

Good tune, I just think it needs more work....


Thanks Herb! My intent was to make it sound like a love song but, twisted from guy-gal to hunter-deer. I'll for sure review line by line to make sure it's clear that he is all along talking about hunting a big buck and not sweet on a gal. Na zdrowie!

Originally Posted By: vicarn
It's a good lyric but I agree about the girls and grilling meat association.
Vic


Vic, I appreciate your feedback as well!

Originally Posted By: Torrey Bliss
Dewey,

Man you are a heck of a songwriter! Every tune you post is always high quality work with a catchy and memorable chorus! Love the acoustic driven backing you chose! Great vocals!

Thanks, TB


You are too kind, Torrey! Good stuff to encourage me...bad stuff for inflating my ego!! LOL

User Showcase
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 12,921
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 12,921
Originally Posted By: Dewey_MI

My intent was to make it sound like a love song but, twisted from guy-gal to hunter-deer.


And you did a fine job of that. Obvious enough in a moment.

Nice production and sung well. Good mix.

The chorus has some good "catchy" to it.
The melody is "almost too good", belying the novelty aspect. A more rudimentary basic-3-chord Country melody might give it more of a novelty feel, but that is just an off-the-cuff comment. (it is a very nice melody)

It's fun and well done.

fj

User Showcase
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 851
Expert
Offline
Expert
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 851
Fun song, great lyric. HAHAHA


Elliott Kayne
elliottkayne@gmail.com
https://www.reverbnation.com/kaynemusic
https://www.facebook.com/ekayne

Health, Wealth, Family, Faith, Friends, and Fun







User Showcase
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 8,647
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 8,647
Hi Dewey ...

Liked it a lot! Nothing wrong with the vocal. I'm not a hunter (grew up in St. Louis - they frown on hunting within the city limits and suburbs), but most of my family are outdoorsmen. Good metaphors throughout.

I like the backing tracks - good choices.

Take care ...

Alan


BIAB 2024 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win11*32GB DDR5*Rhyzen 9745x*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120* Acoustic/Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar

Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops

User Showcase
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 24,696
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 24,696
Dewey, an extremely clever song.

I liked the lyrics are they are now.

Although I liked your backing band I think Floyd is onto something. A novelty song about a deer sounds like it would go better with a redneck country band. You know a standup bass, fiddle, banjo, jugs, and maybe spoons or foot stomping.

Regardless I really did like this song.


OK, a random thought;
Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who's not buying it?

64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
User Showcase
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,664
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,664
Humorous as all get out. Clever lyrics. loaded with puns. Great song. Reminds me of my hunting days in the U.P.

User Showcase
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 7,264
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 7,264
Love the voice, the melody and arrangement.
The vore element is a bit hmmm...
"vorarephilia
noun
A paraphilia and a fetish, chiefly practiced by role-playing, involving the devouring of or being devoured by another person or creature—whether alive and whole ("soft vore"), or with gore or killing ("hard vore")."


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
User Showcase
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,361
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,361
Dewey...almost every guy I know could use this as their personal anthem...where I live the deer are thick as flees and hunting season is a much anticipated time...regardless of that the song is clever and extremely well produced and performed...memorable melody and great vocal (as usual)...loved it!


www.soundclick.com/firesong
BiaB 2024, Steinberg Cubase Pro 13, Wavelab 11.2, SpetraLayers Pro 10, Audacity, Steinberg UR44 Interface, Yamaha Genos, Roland FP60 and FP10, Windows 10

You are who you are because you do what you do because of what you believe.
User Showcase
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 8,974
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 8,974
Dewey,

As others have said - very clever and well written. Much enjoyed. Great mix.

Bob

User Showcase
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 16,132
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 16,132
"My intent was to make it sound like a love song but, twisted from guy-gal to hunter-deer."

Deer/Dear smile

And that you did!

Interesting lyric notion and you made it work.
Nice mix and vocals too.

As ES said, "Humorous as all get out. Clever lyrics. loaded with puns. Great song."

Yep.

Enjoyed it.

J&B

PS We don't hunt but live in a forest and have to blow the horn to get them outa the driveway!



Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more.
If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks!
Our Videos
User Showcase
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 8,491
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 8,491
When I was small child I used to have dreams about writing, directing and starring in a movie about a herd of deer who declared open season on human beings.

The people they decided to take out first were bad country music singers writing songs about drinking, chasing women, driving trucks and shooting deer.

I think it may be time for me to revisit that movie or at least the song.

It's going to be a real gut buster. I know it's going to make everybody laugh and be a real forum hit hahaha.

It's going to be funny y'all!! Where will those poor little country singers hide!!!! Ha ha ha!!!!!

Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!

User Showcase
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 8,330
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 8,330
Excellent lyric. Super vocal. Well done


Scott Collingwood
https://soundcloud.com/scottt709
https://soundcloud.com/spiritlevel-ca
https://www.youtube.com/@SpiritLevel-ge3hm/
User Showcase
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 7,259
Veteran
Online Content
Veteran
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 7,259
Dewey,
That is one fun tune! Excellent word play and phrasing. Vocals are spot on. Mix is clear and listens very well. Thank you for sharing.

Misha.

P.S. I am not a hunter, but local deer is way out of control. Car accidents, deforestation, ticks you name it. They got rid of wolves long ago, so there almost no natural predators to keep them in natural cycle. Last winter they got so hungry they ate my holly and mugo pine! I wish they would allow hunters to harvest more to try to balance things.

Previous Thread
Next Thread
Go To

Link Copied to Clipboard
ChatPG

Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.

ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.

PG Music News
XPro & Xtra Styles PAK Sets On Sale Now - Until May 15, 2026!

All of our XPro Styles PAKs and Xtra Styles PAKs are on sale until May 15th, 2026!

It's the perfect time to expand your Band-in-a-Box® style library with XPro and Xtra Styles PAKs. These additional styles for Band-in-a-Box® offer a wide range of genres designed to fit seamlessly into your projects. Each style is professionally arranged and mixed, helping enhance your songs while saving you time.

What are XPro Styles and Xtra Styles PAKs?

XPro Styles PAKs are styles that work with any version (Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition) of Band-in-a-Box® 2025 (or higher). XPro Styles PAKS 1-10 includes 1,000 styles!

Xtra Styles PAKs are styles that work with the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box® 2025 (or higher). Xtra Styles PAKs 1-21 includes 3,700 styles (and 35 MIDI styles)!

The XPro & Xtra Styles PAKs are not included in any Band-in-a-Box® package.

The XPro Styles PAKs 1-10 are available for only $29 ea (reg. $49 ea), or get them all in the XPro Styles PAK Bundle for only $149 (reg. $299)! Listen to demos and order now! For Mac or for Windows.

The Xtra Styles PAKs 1-21 are available for only $29 ea (reg. $49 ea), or get them all in the Xtra Styles PAK Bundle for only $199 (reg. $349)! Listen to demos and order now! For Mac or for Windows.

Note: XPro Styles PAKs require Band-in-a-Box® 2025 or higher and are compatible with ANY package, including the Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, and Audiophile Edition.

The Xtra Styles require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box®. (Xtra Styles PAK 19 requires the 2025 or higher UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition. They will not work with the Pro or MegaPAK version as they require the RealTracks included in the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.

Supercharge your Band-in-a-Box today with XPro Styles PAKs and Xtra Styles PAK Sets!

Band-in-a-Box 2026 for Mac Videos

With the release of Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Mac, we’re rolling out a collection of brand-new videos on our YouTube channel. We’ll keep this forum post updated so you can easily find all the latest videos in one convenient spot.

Whether you're exploring new features, checking out the latest RealTracks or Style PAKs, this is your go-to guide for Band-in-a-Box® 2026.

Check out this forum post for "One Stop Shopping" of our Band-in-a-Box® 2026 Mac Videos!

Band-in-a-Box 2026 for Mac is Here!

Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Mac is here and it is packed with major new features! There’s a new modern look, a GUI redesign to all areas of the program including toolbars, windows, workflow and more. There’s a Multi-view layout for organizing multiple windows. A standout addition is the powerful AI-Notes feature, which uses AI neural-net technology to transcribe polyphonic audio into MIDI—entire mixes or individual instruments—making it easy to study, view, and play parts from any song. And that’s just the beginning—there are over 100 new features in this exciting release.

Along with version 2026, we've released an incredible lineup of new content! There's 202 new RealTracks, brand-new RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Instrumental Studies, “Songs with Vocals” Artist Performance Sets, Playable RealTracks Set 5, two new RealDrums Stems sets, XPro Styles PAK 10, Xtra Styles PAK 21, and much more!

Special Offers
Upgrade to Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Mac and save up to 50% on most upgrade packages during our special offer—available until May 15, 2026. Visit our Band-in-a-Box® packages page to explore all available upgrade options.

2026 Free Bonus PAK & 49-PAK Add-ons
Our Free Bonus PAK and 49-PAK are loaded with amazing add-ons! The Free Bonus PAK is included with most Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Mac packages, but you can unlock even more—including 20 unreleased RealTracks—by upgrading to the 2026 49-PAK for just $49.

Holiday Weekend Hours

As we hop into the Easter weekend, here are our holiday hours:

April 3 (Good Friday): 8:00 AM – 4:00 PM PDT
April 4 (Saturday): Closed
April 5 (Easter Sunday): Closed
April 6 (Easter Monday): Open regular hours

Wishing you an egg-cellent weekend!

— Team PG

Update to Build 10 of RealBand® 2026 for Windows®!

If you're already using RealBand 2026 for Windows, download build 10 to get all the latest additions and enhancements.

Band-in-a-Box® 2025 for Mac® users: Build 904 now available!

If you're already using Band-in-a-Box® 2025 for Mac®, make sure to grab the latest update! Build 904 is now available for download and includes the newest additions and enhancements from our team.

Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows® users: Build 1237 is now available!

Already a Band-in-a-Box 2026 for Windows user? Stay up to date and download the build 1237 to get all the latest additions and enhancements.

Forum Statistics
Forums57
Topics86,191
Posts801,765
Members40,063
Most Online64,515
Apr 8th, 2026
Newest Members
GlennMans, François Sohm, Armando D'Errico, PhilinPhil, RBDavis1957
40,063 Registered Users
Top Posters(30 Days)
MarioD 126
zedd 109
DC Ron 102
rsdean 101
Noel96 84
Today's Birthdays
jazzkeith, Mavrick20002, Pain-Driven, rolfie, Roycol
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5