Log in to post
|
Print Thread |
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 501
Journeyman
|
OP
Journeyman
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 501 |
Here's a novelty song about deer hunting I recently wrote and would appreciate constructive criticism on regarding lyrics and production. Sorry, vocal performance is limited to me (I'm cheap) so any suggestions here will fall on deaf ears. I will post the BIAB info when I get back into my studio. Thanks for taking the time to give me your honest thoughts. Oh Deer (SoundCloud Link - click here)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 3,500
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 3,500 |
Ha, I love the lyrics, Dewey. Not sure how the deer would feel about the cleverness. really cool melody to go with them. I especially like how you tie the bridge in with the rest of the song. Hey, I know you don't want to hear this, but I think the vocal was perfect --the right amount of predatory feeling sung with tongue in cheek.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 9,413
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 9,413 |
Cool song. I like the idea. Since you're a songwriter .... I'll say this......
Some of the lines are about a girl, others are about grilling some venison.... the only issue I see is the continuity or disconnect, between the two different things.
It's not quite to the "man that was brilliant" stage. It's at the great idea, now lets get it polished up stage.
In the first verse you pretty much set the scene, but that chorus and second verse.... kinda like Hannibal Lector plays country music.... It was kinda creepy sounding..... maybe that's just me seeing it the wrong way but, hey... it put a smile on my face but I'm known for some dry, sick humor at times.
Good tune, I just think it needs more work....
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 1,797
Expert
|
Expert
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 1,797 |
It's a good lyric but I agree about the girls and grilling meat association. Almost there with this one.
Vic
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 5,291
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 5,291 |
Dewey,
Man you are a heck of a songwriter! Every tune you post is always high quality work with a catchy and memorable chorus! Love the acoustic driven backing you chose! Great vocals!
Thanks, TB
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 501
Journeyman
|
OP
Journeyman
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 501 |
Ha, I love the lyrics, Dewey. Not sure how the deer would feel about the cleverness. Thanks Marty Some of the lines are about a girl, others are about grilling some venison.... the only issue I see is the continuity or disconnect, between the two different things.
Good tune, I just think it needs more work.... Thanks Herb! My intent was to make it sound like a love song but, twisted from guy-gal to hunter-deer. I'll for sure review line by line to make sure it's clear that he is all along talking about hunting a big buck and not sweet on a gal. Na zdrowie! It's a good lyric but I agree about the girls and grilling meat association. Vic Vic, I appreciate your feedback as well! Dewey,
Man you are a heck of a songwriter! Every tune you post is always high quality work with a catchy and memorable chorus! Love the acoustic driven backing you chose! Great vocals!
Thanks, TB You are too kind, Torrey! Good stuff to encourage me...bad stuff for inflating my ego!! LOL
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 11,811
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 11,811 |
My intent was to make it sound like a love song but, twisted from guy-gal to hunter-deer.
And you did a fine job of that. Obvious enough in a moment. Nice production and sung well. Good mix. The chorus has some good "catchy" to it. The melody is "almost too good", belying the novelty aspect. A more rudimentary basic-3-chord Country melody might give it more of a novelty feel, but that is just an off-the-cuff comment. (it is a very nice melody) It's fun and well done. fj
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 635
Journeyman
|
Journeyman
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 635 |
Fun song, great lyric. HAHAHA
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,449
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,449 |
Hi Dewey ...
Liked it a lot! Nothing wrong with the vocal. I'm not a hunter (grew up in St. Louis - they frown on hunting within the city limits and suburbs), but most of my family are outdoorsmen. Good metaphors throughout.
I like the backing tracks - good choices.
Take care ...
Alan
BIAB 2024 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win11*16GB DDR5*Rhyzen 9745x*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120* Acoustic/Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 21,079
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 21,079 |
Dewey, an extremely clever song.
I liked the lyrics are they are now.
Although I liked your backing band I think Floyd is onto something. A novelty song about a deer sounds like it would go better with a redneck country band. You know a standup bass, fiddle, banjo, jugs, and maybe spoons or foot stomping.
Regardless I really did like this song.
You know you're getting old when a recliner and a heating pad is your idea of a hot date!
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 2,779
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 2,779 |
Humorous as all get out. Clever lyrics. loaded with puns. Great song. Reminds me of my hunting days in the U.P.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 6,330
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 6,330 |
Love the voice, the melody and arrangement. The vore element is a bit hmmm... "vorarephilia noun A paraphilia and a fetish, chiefly practiced by role-playing, involving the devouring of or being devoured by another person or creature—whether alive and whole ("soft vore"), or with gore or killing ("hard vore")."
Cheers rayc "What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,990
Expert
|
Expert
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,990 |
Dewey...almost every guy I know could use this as their personal anthem...where I live the deer are thick as flees and hunting season is a much anticipated time...regardless of that the song is clever and extremely well produced and performed...memorable melody and great vocal (as usual)...loved it!
www.soundclick.com/firesongBiaB 2024, Steinberg Cubase Pro 13, Wavelab 11.2, SpetraLayers Pro 10, Audacity, Steinberg UR44 Interface, Yamaha Genos, Roland FP60 and FP10, Windows 10 You are who you are because you do what you do because of what you believe.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 6,822
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 6,822 |
Dewey,
As others have said - very clever and well written. Much enjoyed. Great mix.
Bob
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 14,220
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 14,220 |
"My intent was to make it sound like a love song but, twisted from guy-gal to hunter-deer." Deer/Dear And that you did! Interesting lyric notion and you made it work. Nice mix and vocals too. As ES said, "Humorous as all get out. Clever lyrics. loaded with puns. Great song." Yep. Enjoyed it. J&B PS We don't hunt but live in a forest and have to blow the horn to get them outa the driveway!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 7,864
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 7,864 |
When I was small child I used to have dreams about writing, directing and starring in a movie about a herd of deer who declared open season on human beings.
The people they decided to take out first were bad country music singers writing songs about drinking, chasing women, driving trucks and shooting deer.
I think it may be time for me to revisit that movie or at least the song.
It's going to be a real gut buster. I know it's going to make everybody laugh and be a real forum hit hahaha.
It's going to be funny y'all!! Where will those poor little country singers hide!!!! Ha ha ha!!!!!
Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 7,604
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 7,604 |
Excellent lyric. Super vocal. Well done
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 5,826
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 5,826 |
Dewey, That is one fun tune! Excellent word play and phrasing. Vocals are spot on. Mix is clear and listens very well. Thank you for sharing.
Misha.
P.S. I am not a hunter, but local deer is way out of control. Car accidents, deforestation, ticks you name it. They got rid of wolves long ago, so there almost no natural predators to keep them in natural cycle. Last winter they got so hungry they ate my holly and mugo pine! I wish they would allow hunters to harvest more to try to balance things.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Video: Band-in-a-Box® + ChatGPT = Impressed the BOSS!
Band-in-a-Box User Video Tutorials!
If you've reviewed our Support page, you've probably noticed the Videos page, which separates our Band-in-a-Box® tutorial videos by category: Overview, VST DAW Plugin, Setup, Beginner, Intermediate, Advanced, and there's even an Archive category to go down memory lane... (You'll also find these videos on our YouTube Channel.)
It's always great to hear how other Band-in-a-Box® users create their songs, especially when they explain in detail what they're doing. Like Henry Clarke's YouTube Channel, Henry Clarke - Senior Musicians Unite! There you'll find his ALL Band-in-a-Box Tutorials playlist with over 50 videos! His top-three most watched videos include "How to Get Started with Band-in-a-Box," "How I use the Audio Chord Wizard in Band-in-a-Box," and "How to Create An Effective Solo Using Band-in-a-Box" - however he touches on many other topics and also demonstrates his own Band-in-a-Box® songs in the Band-in-a-Box Created Songs playlist!
You're guaranteed to find some helpful videos when you visit Henry Clarke's channel!
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 Italian for Windows is Here!
Ci siamo dati da fare e abbiamo aggiunto oltre 50 nuove funzionalità e una straordinaria raccolta di nuovi contenuti, tra cui 222 RealTracks, nuovi RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Instrumental Studies, "Songs with Vocals" Artist Performance Sets, Playable RealTracks Set 3, Playable RealDrums Set 2, due nuovi set di "RealDrums Stems", XPro Styles PAK 6, Xtra Styles PAK 17 e altro ancora!
Tutti Pacchetti | Nuove Caratteristiche
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 French for Windows is Here!
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 apporte plus de 50 fonctions nouvelles ainsi qu'une importante de contenus nouveaux à savoir : 222 RealTracks, des RealStyles nouveaux, des SuperTracks MIDI, des Etudes d'Instruments, des Prestations d'Artistes, des "Morceaux avec Choeurs", un Set 3 de Tracks Jouables, un Set 2 de RealDrums Jouables, deux nouveaux Sets de "RealDrums Stems", des Styles XPro PAK 6, des Xtra Styles PAK 17 et bien plus encore!
Tous Packages | Nouvelles Fonctionnalités
Video: Making a Song with Band-in-a-Box®, ChatGPT, and Synth V
Take your Band-in-a-Box® project to a whole new level when you incorporate ChatGPT and Synth V to add lyrics and vocals to your song!
We wanted to demonstrate how this is done with our video, where we show you how to go from nothing to a finished "radio ready" modern pop song by combining the features of Band-in-a-Box®, ChatGPT, and Synth V!
Listen to the finished song, so you get a listen to the finished product: https://demos.pgmusic.com/misc/behindthefame.m4a
If you like it, watch the video. Either way, let's hear your comments!
Henry Clarke: Revolutionize Your Band-in-Box® Tracks with Regenerating Function
User Video: Convert MIDI Chords into AI Vocal Harmonies with ACE Studio and Band-in-a-Box®
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Forums65
Topics81,910
Posts739,628
Members38,645
|
Most Online2,537 Jan 19th, 2020
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
There are no members with birthdays on this day. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|