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An American Tourist in Heidelberg (Wo Ist Die Toilette?) This is me having a bit of fun. It's my first song in German (not much of it). Please pardon my juvenile sense of humor. You could say this is slightly autobiographical. Years back, I was sitting with a friend drinking a beer outdoors in Heidelberg when I was suddenly afflicted with intense intestinal distress. After some searching, I was able to find the WC, without any disastrous consequences---although it was close. This song will get you up and dancing, maybe even dancing the green apple quick-step. The choir part at the bridge is me triple tracking all four parts of the harmony--no plugins are harmonizers were used. It isn't perfect, but it has a full sound. The Wrecking Crew RT3710 Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm 90sJamRockFunky RT3337 Piano, Electric, Rhythm FunkJeff RT2622 Organ, Rhythm FunkSwing RT2157 Piano, ElectricVintage, Rhythm FunkyGroove60sJohn RT2619 Organ, Rhythm Funk Drums on Demand/Underground/Gap Tooth Woman Native Instruments Prime Bass The guitars panned wide on the left and right are NI Electric Vintage and NI Electric Mint respectively. Lyrics Wo ist die Toilette? Wo ist die Toilette? Da. Da. Da. Da. (Huh?) Wo ist die Toilette? Wo ist die Toilette? Da. Da. Da. Da. (Dein Vater?) Achtung an alle Achtung an alle Gefahr Mein Gott, mein Gott Ich scheiße mir in die Hose Ich scheiße mir in die Hose Gott in Himmel Wo ist die Toilette? Wo ist die Toilette? Da. Da. Da. Da. Brief Translation: Where is the toilet? There. There. There. There. Attention Everyone. Danger. My God, My God. I am sh*tting my pants. God in heaven!
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Scott,
What a great piece of original music. A very cool mix of rock, funk & jazz.
The lyrics are hilarious, but you sing them with such conviction. Some great harmony parts.
Excellent - much enjoyed!
Bob
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Hahahaha!
I’m amazed. So different to what I hear from you.
Applause, applause.
Vic
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Cool stuff, Scott! Great groove.
Those wide panned guitars work a treat. Bass sounds great too.
Love the backstory!
Very original, enjoyed.
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Scott,
Putting the lyrics aside for a moment this has an awesome sound! The drums and bass combo are killin'!! That bass sounds wonderful, you did a super job with that as well as everything else in the backing! As for your vocals they are really full sounding just like you said! That's something I always notice about your tracks. The vocals are without exception very strong and really carry the songs! I don't know the German language and don't have the interest to learn it, but it sounds like you know enough to make this fun sounding song happen!
Take care, TB
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Scott,
What a great piece of original music. A very cool mix of rock, funk & jazz.
The lyrics are hilarious, but you sing them with such conviction. Some great harmony parts.
Excellent - much enjoyed!
Bob Thanks much, Bob!
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Hahahaha!
I’m amazed. So different to what I hear from you.
Applause, applause.
Vic Thanks, Vic. I try to do something a little different every now and then.
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Cool stuff, Scott! Great groove.
Those wide panned guitars work a treat. Bass sounds great too.
Love the backstory!
Very original, enjoyed. Thanks, Dave. Glad you enjoyed it.
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Scott,
Putting the lyrics aside for a moment this has an awesome sound! The drums and bass combo are killin'!! That bass sounds wonderful, you did a super job with that as well as everything else in the backing! As for your vocals they are really full sounding just like you said! That's something I always notice about your tracks. The vocals are without exception very strong and really carry the songs! I don't know the German language and don't have the interest to learn it, but it sounds like you know enough to make this fun sounding song happen!
Take care, TB Torrey, thank you for your positive and encouraging words.
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Hi Scott ...
Ha! Funny as heck! Good sounds from everything.
I lived in Germany for almost 12 years and speak reasonably good German. Been to Heidelberg numerous times. I had a band for most of those 12 years we played the Heidelberg Hospital NCO Club at least 7 or 8 times. The castle sure is pretty when they have the illumination!
Anyway, that was such a fun listen. German Pop-Funk about a crappy subject!
Still laughing!
Alan
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TERRIFIC!!! Much fun on so many levels, Scott. Of course I love the bass, but, man, the vocals make this such a gas (sorry). Yep, that was before Google Translator. Now we can ask Where's the bathroom is hundreds of different languages. Such a cool feel. I gotta go.
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Nummer zwei und Nummer eins in Europa.
Wie viele Euro sind noch übrig?
Meine Leiderhosen stinken.
It's a weird thing Scott.
My folks had trouble in Europe with the cost of "public" toilets and the lines for them.
Funny song - well done.
Last edited by rayc; 08/05/23 10:01 PM.
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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Nummer zwei und Nummer eins in Europa.
Wie viele Euro sind noch übrig?
Meine Leiderhosen stinken.
It's a weird thing Scott.
My folks had trouble in Europe with the cost of "public" toilets and the lines for them.
Funny song - well done.  Lederhosen = leather pants Leiderhosen = unfortunately pants Based on the song's lyrics, the typo is actually more appropriate. If it was on purpose, or even if it wasn't, two giant thumbs up! Still laughing. Nice way to start a Sunday morning. 
Last edited by TheMaartian; 08/05/23 10:34 PM.
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Nummer zwei und Nummer eins in Europa.
Wie viele Euro sind noch übrig?
Meine Leiderhosen stinken.
It's a weird thing Scott.
My folks had trouble in Europe with the cost of "public" toilets and the lines for them.
Funny song - well done. You don't see them as often now indoors, but men's rooms used to have a wall with a trough at the bottom instead of urinals. Instead of the putzfrau at the entrance just collecting money, they'd be banging your feet with a mop while you were standing at the wall. Kind of surprised me the first couple of times it happened in Germany in '71. Those walls had buttons on them that would spray water in a sheet along the wall every now and them. Occasionally, some enterprising dude would jam a piece of gum onto the button, and water would spray all over the room. That also happened to me once. When I came back out into the bar soaking wet, my German friends laughed their butts off. I always checked for gum first after that. 
ThinkPad i9 32GB RAM 7TB SSD; Win11 Pro; RME Fireface UCX II; BiaB 2026 Ultra
Bitwig Studio 6; Studio One Pro 7; Melodyne Studio 5; Acoustica Premium 7
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An American Tourist in Heidelberg (Wo Ist Die Toilette?) This is me having a bit of fun. It's my first song in German (not much of it). Please pardon my juvenile sense of humor. You could say this is slightly autobiographical. Years back, I was sitting with a friend drinking a beer outdoors in Heidelberg when I was suddenly afflicted with intense intestinal distress. After some searching, I was able to find the WC, without any disastrous consequences---although it was close. This song will get you up and dancing, maybe even dancing the green apple quick-step. The choir part at the bridge is me triple tracking all four parts of the harmony--no plugins are harmonizers were used. It isn't perfect, but it has a full sound. The Wrecking Crew RT3710 Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm 90sJamRockFunky RT3337 Piano, Electric, Rhythm FunkJeff RT2622 Organ, Rhythm FunkSwing RT2157 Piano, ElectricVintage, Rhythm FunkyGroove60sJohn RT2619 Organ, Rhythm Funk Drums on Demand/Underground/Gap Tooth Woman Native Instruments Prime Bass The guitars panned wide on the left and right are NI Electric Vintage and NI Electric Mint respectively. Lyrics Wo ist die Toilette? Wo ist die Toilette? Da. Da. Da. Da. (Huh?) Wo ist die Toilette? Wo ist die Toilette? Da. Da. Da. Da. (Dein Vater?) Achtung an alle Achtung an alle Gefahr Mein Gott, mein Gott Ich scheiße mir in die Hose Ich scheiße mir in die Hose Gott in Himmel Wo ist die Toilette? Wo ist die Toilette? Da. Da. Da. Da. Brief Translation: Where is the toilet? There. There. There. There. Attention Everyone. Danger. My God, My God. I am sh*tting my pants. God in heaven! Really nice song, Scott! Love the bass line you picked. And the "Self Service" sign on the Soundcloud page is priceless!
Last edited by TheMaartian; 08/05/23 10:39 PM.
ThinkPad i9 32GB RAM 7TB SSD; Win11 Pro; RME Fireface UCX II; BiaB 2026 Ultra
Bitwig Studio 6; Studio One Pro 7; Melodyne Studio 5; Acoustica Premium 7
Gig Performer 5; NI S61 MK3; Focal Shape 65; Beyerdynamic DT 880 & 770
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Scott...that was weird and wonderful...great track! a universal theme indeed! not your usual fare but when you gotta go...you gotta go!
www.soundclick.com/firesongBiaB 2024, Steinberg Cubase Pro 13, Wavelab 11.2, SpetraLayers Pro 10, Audacity, Steinberg UR44 Interface, Yamaha Genos, Roland FP60 and FP10, Windows 10 You are who you are because you do what you do because of what you believe.
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What a cool funky song, I hadn't realized before how well German fits into funk music  Great groove and the electric guitars sound excellent. Message is clear (or sh*tty, which way look at it) and funny, though seriously this can happen to a tourist anywhere. That chorus is hilarious and bit scary Nice to hear your funkier creativity Now after hearing this, I feel tempted to put out my The Dirtiest Funk In The World song... Janne
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Hi Scott ...
Ha! Funny as heck! Good sounds from everything.
I lived in Germany for almost 12 years and speak reasonably good German. Been to Heidelberg numerous times. I had a band for most of those 12 years we played the Heidelberg Hospital NCO Club at least 7 or 8 times. The castle sure is pretty when they have the illumination!
Anyway, that was such a fun listen. German Pop-Funk about a crappy subject!
Still laughing!
Alan Thanks, Alan. I've only been over there a few times. My German is limited to the classes I had in college and what I learned from my grandparents/
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TERRIFIC!!! Much fun on so many levels, Scott. Of course I love the bass, but, man, the vocals make this such a gas (sorry). Yep, that was before Google Translator. Now we can ask Where's the bathroom is hundreds of different languages. Such a cool feel. I gotta go. I enjoyed your puns, Marty!
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Nummer zwei und Nummer eins in Europa.
Wie viele Euro sind noch übrig?
Meine Leiderhosen stinken.
It's a weird thing Scott.
My folks had trouble in Europe with the cost of "public" toilets and the lines for them.
Funny song - well done. Ha! Thanks, Ray. When I used to take students on trips to Europe, pre-pandemic, our tour guides would manage, most of the time, to direct us to the free toilets.
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Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
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Band-in-a-Box 2026 Video: AI Stems & Notes - split polyphonic audio into instruments and transcribe
This video demonstrates how to use the new AI-Notes feature together with the AI-Stems splitter, allowing you to select an audio file and have it separated into individual stems while transcribing each one to its own MIDI track. AI-Notes converts polyphonic audio—either full mixes or individual instruments—into MIDI that you can view in notation or play back instantly.
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You can see all the 2026 videos on our forum!
Bonus PAK and 49-PAK for Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows®
With your version 2026 for Windows Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, Audiophile Edition or PlusPAK purchase, we'll include a Bonus PAK full of great new Add-ons for FREE! Or upgrade to the 2026 49-PAK for only $49 to receive even more NEW Add-ons including 20 additional RealTracks!
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- MIDI Styles Set 92: Look Ma! More MIDI 15: Latin Jazz
- MIDI SuperTracks Set 46: Piano & Organ
- Instrumental Studies Set 24: Groovin' Blues Soloing
- Artist Performance Set 19: Songs with Vocals 9
- Playable RealTracks Set 5
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Learn more about the Bonus PAKs for Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows®!
Video: New User Interface (GUI)
Join Tobin as he takes you on a tour of the new user interface in Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows®! This modern GUI redesign offers a sleek new look with updated toolbars, refreshed windows, and a smoother workflow. The brand-new side toolbar puts track selection, the MultiPicker Library, and other essential tools right at your fingertips. Plus, our upgraded Multi-View lets you layer multiple windows without overlap, giving you a highly flexible workspace. Many windows—including Tracks, Piano Roll, and more—have been redesigned for improved usability and a cleaner, more intuitive interface, and more!
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We've just released XPro Styles PAK 10 for Windows & Mac Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) with 100 brand new RealStyles, plus 28 RealTracks and RealDrums!
Few things are certain in life: death, taxes, and a brand spankin’ new XPro Styles PAK! In this, the 10th edition of our XPro Styles PAK series, we’ve got 100 styles coming your way! We have the classic 25 styles each from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, and rounding out this volume's wildcard slot is 25 styles in the Praise & Worship genre! A wide spanning genre, you can find everything from rock, folk, country, and more underneath its umbrella. The included 28 RealTracks and RealDrums can be used with any Band-in-a-Box® 2026 (and higher) package.
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Video: Xtra Styles PAK 21 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!
Note: The Xtra Styles require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box®. (Xtra Styles PAK 21 requires the 2025 or higher UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition. They will not work with the Pro or MegaPAK version because they need the RealTracks from the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.
Introducing XPro Styles PAK 10 – Now Available for Mac Band-in-a-Box 2025 and Higher!
We've just released XPro Styles PAK 10 for Mac & Windows Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) with 100 brand new RealStyles, plus 28 RealTracks and RealDrums!
Few things are certain in life: death, taxes, and a brand spankin’ new XPro Styles PAK! In this, the 10th edition of our XPro Styles PAK series, we’ve got 100 styles coming your way! We have the classic 25 styles each from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, and rounding out this volume's wildcard slot is 25 styles in the Praise & Worship genre! A wide spanning genre, you can find everything from rock, folk, country, and more underneath its umbrella. The included 28 RealTracks and RealDrums can be used with any Band-in-a-Box® 2026 (and higher) package.
Here’s just a small sampling of what you can look forward to in XPro Styles PAK 10: Soft indie folk worship songs, bumpin’ country boogies, gospel praise breaks, hard rockin’ pop, funky disco grooves, smooth Latin jazz pop, bossa nova fusion, western swing, alternative hip-hop, cool country funk, and much more!
Special offers until December 31st, 2025!
All the XPro Styles PAKs 1 - 10 are on sale for only $29 ea (Reg. $49 ea), or get them all in the XPro Styles PAK Bundle for only $149 (reg. $299)! Order now!
Learn more and listen to demos of XPro Styles PAKs.
Video: XPro Styles PAK 10 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!
XPro Styles PAKs require Band-in-a-Box® 2025 or higher and are compatible with ANY package, including the Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, and Audiophile Edition.
Introducing Xtra Styles PAK 21 – Now Available for Mac Band-in-a-Box 2025 and Higher!
Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Mac & Windows Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) is here with 200 brand new RealStyles!
We're excited to bring you our latest Xtra Styles PAK installment—the all new Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher)!
Rejoice, one and all, for Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Band-in-a-Box® is here! We’re serving up 200 brand spankin’ new styles to delight your musical taste buds! The first three courses are the classics you’ve come to know and love, including offerings from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, but, not to be outdone, this year’s fourth course is bro country! A wide ranging genre, you can find everything from hip-hop, uptempo outlaw country, hard hitting rock, funk, and even electronica, all with that familiar bro country flair. The dinner bell has been rung, pickup up Xtra Styles PAK 21 today!
In this PAK you’ll discover: Energetic folk rock, raucous train beats, fast country boogies, acid jazz grooves, laid-back funky jams, a bevy of breezy jazz waltzes, calm electro funk, indie synth pop, industrial synth metal, and more bro country than could possibly fit in the back of a pickup truck!
Special offers until December 31st, 2025!
All the Xtra Styles PAKs 1 - 21 are on special for only $29 each (reg $49), or get all 21 PAKs for $199 (reg $399)! Order now!
Learn more and listen to demos of the Xtra Styles PAK 21.
Video: Xtra Styles PAK 21 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!
Note: The Xtra Styles require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box®. (Xtra Styles PAK 21 requires the 2025 or higher UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition. They will not work with the Pro or MegaPAK version because they need the RealTracks from the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.
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