Originally Posted By: B.D.Thomas
For a first version, your W.I.P. is already quite mature.
LOVE the lyrics, even when you think they are not that great.

Since "Is This Real" is a bit too cliché, I suggest "Is This the Total Deal" as the song title.
As a listener I would be curious to listen to a song with that title.

The vocals could use a little more sparkle, right now they're a bit dull and don't cut through well.

One more suggestion: the chorus already has a nice Pink Floyd vibe, maybe this direction could be explored further (organ a bit louder, maybe one of those BIAB gospel choirs in the background, you get the idea).

Thanks B.D.T.,
The entire lyric is cliche but I know what you mean.
I'll look at sparkle - but have to be careful about lifting sibilant sounds at the same time.
I tried the louder organ and ended up raising it in the 2nd half of the verse and I found more organ in the chorus buried the interplay between piano & trem guitar. Nice idea though - ta.
I suspect the use of gospel vocals may spoil the surprise of the horns entering.
I gave it a go though and I was right...it made the change from sparse to lush less dynamic.

Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe