Originally Posted By: vicarn
Hi Ray.
I like the idea but not keen on the gaps in between lines all the way through.
It feels like I'm waiting for something to happen in the chorus and when the chorus comes, nothing happens.
As I said, I like the idea and it's worth persuing.
Vic

Thanks Vic,
I understand what you mean about the gaps ...in fact they get longer in the chorus.
All very deliberate on my part though as, to my mind, they reflect the emptiness of the narrator and, in the chorus, I found my brain filling in the gaps with repeats or answers. While it was an opportunity to flesh those out I rather like the idea of that sort of listener participation.
I'll pursue the song to a conclusion. Ta.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe