It's a pleasant arrangement, but it lacks melody, which means it's going to rely on the chord progression for direction.

And that's where I run into problems. You seem to throw in chords with no preparation that are unrelated to prior chords, and they don't seem to lead the progression, either.

I'm left scratching my head wondering what's happening. As the song goes on, these chords appear with even more frequency.

So, pretty song, but I can't follow where it's going.

-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?