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Hi, everyone ... it's been a while, once more, I guess ... but here's one more of mine, "hot off the press" (haha), as it were. See how you feel about it?  All feedback gratefully received, as always. In My Dreams THE LYRICS:You made my heart beat that much faster When you first looked at me ... Your skin so soft, like alabaster, Your eyes, alike the sea. We hugged and cried, that late, late night, I won't forget your smile; It all, then, felt ever so right ... Since then, it's been a while. Last night, after such prolonged pain, I dreamt of you, at last ... You cried soft tears, alike the rain, And left some footsteps in the dust. And, soft, we talked and reminisced About those days long gone ... About those days when we first kissed, And talked, on that green lawn. Alas, those days are in the past, You're far away from me ... "Are you still who you were?", I ask ... "Are you truly happy?" Questions; replies, they DON'T receive ... The dawn is here; the moon now dims ... If not "for real", then to this I cleave: "I hope you'll come back, in my dreams". THE BAND:****** Song Summary ************* Title: In My Dreams - 17 October 2023 File:In My Dreams - 17 October 2023.SGU Key=C , Tempo 60, Length (m:s)=4:24 No intro. 62 bar chorus, from bar 1 to bar 62. Repeat x1 chorus No Melody No Soloist track. Song is saved with Volume, Pan, Reverb, Chorus, Bank0, Style is _RESERVD.STY (Reserved Soft Ballad Guitar Solo) RealTracks in style: 1536:Bass, Electric, PopBelieve Ev16 065 RealTracks in style: 2808:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm SoulfulPop16thsMike Ev16 065 RealTracks in style: 3910:Guitar, Nylon, Fingerpicking SongwriterSlow16DADGAD Ev16 060 RealTracks in style: 3906:Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm SongwriterSlow16DADGAD Ev16 060 RealTracks in style: 3198:Guitar, Acoustic, Soloist PopBalladBrent Ev 065 RealDrums in style:PraiseWorshipSlow16ths^3-a:Kick, Hihat , b:Snare 2 and 4 ******************* Vocal track recorded and mixed in Mixcraft Pro Studio 10
Last edited by musician17; 10/17/23 05:41 AM.
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That's a style I've not used before. Love your soothing speaking voice! The instruments and the harmonic movement of the chords are very nice as well. The challenge for me is four and a half minutes of Brent noodling on the guitar doesn't keep my interest. You might vary the arrangement a bit to give your backing band a bit more interest. Thanks for sharing!
DC Ron
BiaB Audiophile
Presonus Studio One
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Too many guitars (is that a thing?)
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Hi James.
This is a lovely journey in music and words. I agree with DC Ron, your voice really is very soothing and relaxing to listen to. The way you deliver the words is perfect for the mood that the lyrics create, and you have assembled a really fine BIAB backing that sits very comfortably on the ears and showcases your performance beautifully. I loved your attention to rhymes and to lyric flow. You deserve a gold medal for discovering the rhyme faster/alabaster. These words about looking back on a relationship that was one of life's high points are very well structured and create a satisfying aural voyage for the listener.
My compliments on a great job!
--Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2025
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Lyrics are well crafted, and that is a killer first verse.
Your recitation is emotional, without being maudlin, and sincere.
Gentle accompaniment and progression that fits your poetry well.
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Hi, James. I agree with the others - nice write, and it sounds good with the backing. But... just to be super nit-picky here... Your skin so soft, like alabaster,I assume you mean "lthe color of alabaster". Because when I hear "soft, like alabster", I was confused. Anyway, nice work!
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Kinda thought after all the praise we might hear you sing again but as mentioned the spoken word nicely delivered the lyric. The backing tracks also supported the poetic feel of it. Good rhymes also with the ABAB layout. Well done! J&B PS "Alabaster" caught us by surprise also.
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos are here on our website.
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How do I feel about it you ask.
Well I think it is pretty darn good!
I really liked your lyrics.
I have no problem with the background guitar playing I just think it should be quieter during your spoken parts. But again that is just my opinion FWIW.
I got banned from Weight Watchers for dropping a bag of M&Ms on the floor.
It was the best game of Hungry Hippos I've ever seen!
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A lovely way of accompanying your softly spoken poem, James.
Perhaps a little long and the instrumental too intrusive in parts when you are speaking. Also alabaster isn’t what could be described as soft so I would change that line.
Good start.
Vic
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Ah, the cool sounds of James Delsono that I've come to really enjoy. Thanks for posting another gem, James. Your chord progressions always take me to unexpected places, and each one is beautiful with your speaking voice that actually sings.
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Oh wow. Thank you, everyone, for such incredibly kind comments - and, of course, for taking the time to comment. I am just a little "behind schedule" in listening to everyone's songs ... but I shall remedy that, one song at a time Regarding the "alabaster" line: I really should have written it as follows: "Your skin (so soft), like alabaster" ... i.e. separating the softness of the skin from the alabaster-like quality, which (as David Cuny correctly surmised) refers to the colour of the skin, not to its soft quality. But yes - it's a clumsy way of writing, anyway! Argh ... I will have to see how I can change that, if it CAN be changed! I will think on it ... otherwise, I'll just correct the lyrics, as above, and claim poetic licence, haha  Thanks for pointing this out, though!!! Janice and Bud, thanks for reminding me that I can, apparently, sing! haha. I'll try, maybe next time? I'm not that confident in my vocal register, nor in my capacity to write good melodies. But, if you guys like it, that's good enough for me Mario and Vic: yes, perhaps I can lower the guitar volume in the spoken parts! See, that is why it's so good to share songs on here ... people come up with wonderful ideas that one mind alone can let slip by Thanks! Marty: way too kind, as always. Thank you. And, of course, thanks to PG Music
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James,
Beautiful lyrics and a great reading of those lyrics. Love the mix - everything sounds great.
Bob
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James, that is some finely crafted poetry. Although your softly spoken, soothing voice coveys the message very well, I would have preferred your singing. Don’t sell yourself short. I have been told many times my singing just doesn’t cut it but I’m finally old enough not to care, Tom
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Bob: thanks!!! ever so kind! Tommy, thank you so much. You made me smile with that kind comment about my singing, and not caring any more I will do my best to continue singing, whenever I can ... that comment of yours is the perfect motivation, haha - thanks!
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