With a basic understanding of elementary music theory..... You should look into Band in A Box. Grab a copy of the PRO level and this program will give you the fastest start you can possibly get. Pro version is the entry level and has a limited number of styles and real tracks but it gets you in the door to see what this can do. You have a great wealth of knowledge in the forums as well. Ask questions and people will assist.

You don't need to play an instrument... you simply tell it what chords you want ( that's the music theory part) and it does the rest for you. You can import it into Ableton and play around to your hearts content. It's not a hard thing to learn.

You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com
Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.