PG Music Home Forums General Discussion User Showcase Middle of the night

Hi everyone,

I wasn't able to be on our forum for a month or so. Sorry for that
But I was able to work on some songs; 2 remixes and a new one. This one.
I released it a day or so ago: Middle of the Night, https://on.soundcloud.com/yc7ju


The idea for the song was not so very original; I mostly lie awake for some hours in the middle of the night.
Thinking of everything, like the making of this song ;-)
I hope to hear what you think of it.

Hans
============================================
the middle of the night
(c) HWBerkhout 2023

In the middle of a night I lay with my eyes wide open
Because of all the tensions that can't wait
They buzzed around me like raging angry birds
And that night I became afraid

chorus
I always slept so well, but then the world changed
Problems became so huge
Wars, hatred, and greedy ego's, there are so many
But in the morning I haven't solved any

In the middle of the night I have my eyes wide open
Disturbing thoughts that cannot wait
They swirled around me like bloodthirsty bats
And each night I became more afraid

chorus
I always slept so well, but when the world changed
Problems became so huge
Wars, hatred, and greedy ego's, there are so many
But in the morning I haven't solved any

The middle of the night I fear that time
I tried sleeping in the middle of the day
but people warned me I must stay awake then
Else I chase them away

Solo

Bridge
Oh, I wish I could sleep!
Ignore all these thoughts
There must be a solution
To sleep all night

chorus2
In the middle of a night maybe the world changes
The ego's and their [*****] disappear
In the middle of a night I find peace of mind
In the middle of a night sleep I'll find

In the middle of a night issues being solved
In the middle of whatever night
In the middle... I cannot wait
Maybe I'm no more afraid...

Technical stuff
Style is _ICELAKE.STY (Ice Lake Gliding Country Folk)
Key: E, tempo 90 bpm
RealTracks in style: 1580:Bass, Electric, Folkie16ths Sw16 085
RealTracks in song: 1996:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm SmoothJazzPoppy Ev16 090
RealTracks in style: 3704:Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm 90sAcRockCool Sw16 090
RealTracks in style: 1581:Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm Folkie16ths Sw16 085
RealTracks in song: 2678:Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm BluesSw16GrooveBrent Sw16 085
RealTracks in song: 4149:Guitar, Electric, Soloist NashCoolSw16Brent Sw16 075
RealDrums in style:FolkModernSw16^01-a:Snare, Hihat , b:Snare, Ride

Hello Hans.
Welcome back.
I like your song.
It must be difficult writing a song in a language different to what you are used to.
Do you write it originally in your own language and then translate it to English?
I'm asking because some of the lines seem a little awkward and mechanical, though they are understandable.
Your production is good to my ears although I would reduce some of the effects.

All in all, a good song.

Vic

Hans,

This is an excellent song. I can completely relate to this!

Your vocal is in fine form. Love the production also.

Awesome job!

Bob

Hans,
Nice song, well sung. Quite dramatic.
Well produced and arranged.

Peter

Hans, what a great and true song.

I loved your chorus
"I always slept so well, but when the world changed
Problems became so huge
Wars, hatred, and greedy ego's, there are so many
But in the morning I haven't solved any"

I liked your vocal and backing tracks.
Super mix.
Sounds great to me.

Hi Vic


Thanks for your reply. And to dive into the main issue, no I don't write my songs in Dutch first (only Dutch songs of course).
I sometimes check sentences or lines on certain words, or the way you write them.
You noticed some awkward and mechanical use of my English.
I can think of one line in particular ("In the middle of a night sleep I'll find") where you might say it is a bit awkward.
But I did that deliberately. And I always try to avoid 'mechanical' use of words.
So I invite you to show me 'the errors' you noticed. I can learn from that.
Thanks Vic,

Hans

Very cool production choices, the hard panned guitars create a great drive.
Nice dramatic vocals.
I like your song, Hans!

PS: Whenever I can't sleep at night, I get up and get stuff done. There's no reason to waste useful time lying around.

Hans, I also can relate to working on songs in the middle of the night. And then when I wake up many times they are completely gone. I liked the arrangement. Good instrumentation. It’s a great theme for the song and you’ve created some fine lyrics. The mix is very good and your vocal delivers the message well. Nice one, Tom

Hullo again, Hans
A few suggestions below.

Vic.

In the middle of the night I lay with my eyes wide open
Because of all the tensions that can't wait
Buzzing around me like angry birds (raging and angry have the same meaning in this context so lose one of them)
And those nights I became so afraid (It seems you are having more than one sleepless night so use "those nights").

chorus
I used to slept so easily, but then the world changed (easily is a better word to use in my opinion)
Problems were driving me insane
Wars, hatred, and greedy ego's, there are so many
But come morning I hadn't solved any (This chorus is mainly in the past tense so use the word "hadn't ").

In the middle of the night I have my eyes wide open
Disturbing thoughts that cannot wait
They swirl around me like bloodthirsty bats
And each night I become more afraid (This verse is present tense so the words would be "swirl" and "become")

Very cool intro Hans. Loved the acoustics and when your vocal came in it just lite up the song. Awesome vocal and lyric. Mix was perfect.. Well done

Cool funky song and insomnia topic. Really love how the bridge slows it all down. Also how the theme picks up again after the bridge, but differently, going into the end of the song. Really well constructed and performed all the way around.

Hi Hans,

I really enjoyed this song. Your singing is good, the instrumentation very effective and the choruses are great.

Well done.

Best Regards
Nigel

Hi Hans,

Wonderful song!
Great music and vocals.
Especially where you added the backing vocals.
Echt een lekker nummer.

Rob and Anne-Marie

Hi Bob,


Thanks for your compliments!
I'm also glad that the vocal cords were spared.

Hans

Hello Peter,


Thanks for your words.
Laying awake in the dark is not that dramatic. The thought of not being able to do anything makes it a little sad.
I always use those moments to create something (in my head).

Hans

Hi Mario,


You are always so kind and write nice words to me.
Thanks for that!

Hans

Hello Brain,


I like your compliments and especially your 'ps'.
That is what I did all my life (as far as I can recall).
I woke up with a melody in my head, jumped out of bed and played it on my guitar,
or got ideas and work/write them out.
Most of the time my wife was/is not amused then....

Hans

Hi Tom,

Just heard your attractive 'mandolin song'. Very good!


As I wrote to Brain I can be very active in the middle of the night, but I can also recall times like you discribed. Mostly with things like ideas for lyrics.
Thanks for your nice compliments!

Hans

Hi Vic,

What a very nice action of you to come with these suggestions on the lyrics.
And you know what your first post did to me?
It still keeps me busy about those lyrics.
Of course I know I can't sound like an American. I don't want that.

I also can't write lyrics in slang. But I try, because I like to reach that level.

I checked my chorus at ChatGTP and asked if the language used in the chorus was correct.
It said it was, although it prefered 'anything' above 'any'...

My comment on some of your suggestions:
In my first verse I uses 'a' night. And in 'that' night I became afraid (for the first time).
In the second verse I used In the middle of 'the' night (as a synonym for 'every').
That's the continuation of that first night.
So every night since then I became more afraid.

I used the simple past tense because I looked back at what happened to me then.
That also refers to the words 'buzzed and swirled', because it happend in the past (of each night) .
Though I think to accept your suggestions there, because in the second verse i used the present time too.

In the chorus I chose 'I always slept so well' because of the rhythm of those words. 'Easily" uses an extra syllable.
Probably your words are more correct,but it's that rhythm I need too.

You use an interesting frase: 'come morning'. I think this must be slang(?)
I thought it would mean something like 'the following morning,or the coming morning'.
I used my frase for 'every morning'.
It feels as if your frase has another meaning then what I chose.
But as I said, I don't know for sure. It's a feeling.

Also with your line 'Problems were driving me insane'.
It's not that the problems were driving me crazy, but after staying awake all night, I had to conclude that I couldn't solve any of them.

I take all your suggestions about words in the present or past tense with me. Don't know when I can alter my song yet, but it will come!
So thanks again, and a lot, for all the work you did.

Hans

Hi, Hans. Seems I write better in my sleep. Problem there is that it's not as good when i wake.

If you wrote this one while lying awake, you should never sleep. Love that bereak in the middle of the song where you plead the Universe to let you sleep. Seems the Universe enjoys your sleepless songs, too.