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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 8,647
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Joined: Dec 2012
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Hi Joe ...
Quirky, but in the best of ways. Love the humor!
A couple of things caught my ear:
The drum is a wee bit busy
The overlapping vocals sometimes competed for the same space.
All that said, I enjoyed it a bunch! Swimmingly good, you might say.
Best to you ...
Alan
BIAB 2024 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win11*32GB DDR5*Rhyzen 9745x*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120* Acoustic/Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops
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Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 2,673
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Hello Joe,
What a funny song! I love such an original angle!
And you have a very pleasant voice too!
Some thoughts about the mixing and singing of the song and the lyrics:
Maybe turning down the db of the drums is a good idea. They sometimes 'overwhelm' the vocals.
The way you sing is good. Nice vocals and they sound bright.
But I noticed that at the end of almost every sentence your voice ends 'down'. Try ending it upwards some of the time.
This can help making the song even more engaging.
Also let your background vocals sing that line 'Beta fish' less or softer. You can't be heard properly
-Finally, as David Cunny wrote, take a look again at the lyrics. A lot of words!
People have to listen very carefully not to miss any.
I always have a fight with my lyrics too. I want to say/sing a lot, but less is best I learned/ am still learning...
I hope these notes are of any help for you,
Hans
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Joined: May 2019
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Very cool, Joe. Love it! Unusual song idea masterfully crafted. Yeah, the fun you had with this definitely comes through in the final. Great lyrics, too. {"Beta version" --good one, Mario. }
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Joined: Feb 2023
Posts: 88
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OP
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Joined: Feb 2023
Posts: 88 |
Mario. Thanks so much for listening and commenting. This was one of those songs that I just kind of wrote on the spur of the moment. I find that sometimes they turn out better than the ones that I try hard to write.
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Joined: Feb 2023
Posts: 88
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OP
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Posts: 88 |
Hi Hans, Thanks for the listen and the constructive comments:). I will think about this, as I am currently working on another song, and I may be able to apply these comments to that one too.
Joe
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