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Kelvin Offline OP
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Here is a light-hearted song about a husband who gets drunk and fails to get the provisions in for Christmas lunch !!

I wrote the words and the melody.
I used 464 Bossa Bass , 918 Piano Cha-Cha, 708 Nylon Guitar Bossa and Real Drums Bossa Brushes
The Synth V Vocalists are "Hayden" and "Solaria".
I mixed it in Cubase.

Bread and Cheese for Christmas


Bread and cheese for Christmas, got no turkey, no mince pies
No cake or Christmas pudding, I can’t believe my eyes
Bread and cheese for Christmas, no crackers, wine or beer,
The Ocado man has crashed his van , no Christmas cheer this year.

We left the shopping order late, the wife’s misunderstanding
I thought the list could not be missed, but she left it on the landing,
The orders were clear, as she bent my ear, go out and get some grub,
I’m not impressed, I’m getting dressed and I’m going down the pub.

Many hours later my eyes are seeing double
I staggered to the local Tesco I’m really in some trouble
To my despair, the freezers bare so it’s cheddar and a bloomer,
I hope the wife won’t give me strife and retain her sense of humour.

Bread and cheese for Christmas, got no turkey, no mince pies
No cake or Christmas pudding, I can’t believe my eyes
Bread and cheese for Christmas, no crackers, wine or beer,
The Ocado man has crashed his van , no Christmas cheer this year.

Through the garden gate I go, I’m seeing two front doors,
Two keys, two locks, two houses – I’m crawling on all fours.
On the step she’s standing , she’s not looking too amused,
I really can’t be blaming her, I should never get so boozed

Bread and cheese for Christmas, got no turkey, no mince pies
No cake or Christmas pudding, I can’t believe my eyes
Bread and cheese for Christmas, no crackers, wine or beer,
The Ocado man has crashed his van , no Christmas cheer this year.
No Christmas cheer this year.



Happy Holidays to all !!

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Originally Posted by Kelvin
Here is a light-hearted song about a husband who gets drunk and fails to get the provisions in for Christmas lunch !!

I wrote the words and the melody.
I used 464 Bossa Bass , 918 Piano Cha-Cha, 708 Nylon Guitar Bossa and Real Drums Bossa Brushes
The Synth V Vocalists are "Hayden" and "Solaria".


Bread and Cheese for Christmas

Hey fun tune!
The poor character got off easy in the story....haha I feel for him though.
Nicely mixed. I had one question on the vocalists form your song description: It says the "The Synth Vocalists... ." What does that mean?
Thanks for sharing!
Chad


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Hi Kelvin,

A very enjoyable, humorous song! Very nicely written and presented. Very nice! I like it a lot.

Alan


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Clever and funny lyrics. I especially like this stanza:
"Through the garden gate I go, I’m seeing two front doors,
Two keys, two locks, two houses – I’m crawling on all fours.
On the step she’s standing , she’s not looking too amused,
I really can’t be blaming her, I should never get so boozed" laugh

That must be you playing the chimes/bells?

Synths sound real. It must take time to program the voices.

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Fun little ditty.

A pity SynthV doesn't have any British singers, but Hayden and Solaria sound great.

Cha-cha-cha! laugh


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
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Kelvin Offline OP
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Originally Posted by ChadHC
Originally Posted by Kelvin
Here is a light-hearted song about a husband who gets drunk and fails to get the provisions in for Christmas lunch !!

I wrote the words and the melody.
I used 464 Bossa Bass , 918 Piano Cha-Cha, 708 Nylon Guitar Bossa and Real Drums Bossa Brushes
The Synth V Vocalists are "Hayden" and "Solaria".


Bread and Cheese for Christmas

Hey fun tune!
The poor character got off easy in the story....haha I feel for him though.
Nicely mixed. I had one question on the vocalists form your song description: It says the "The Synth Vocalists... ." What does that mean?
Thanks for sharing!
Chad

Thank you very much Chad - the vocalists are synthesized and you can fine-tune the way the words are sung by tweaking the phonemes and many other settings.

Its great for people like me who really can't sing a note in tune - I used to write just instrumental music, but now I can use these voices and I can at least see if a song is any good or not after I add the singing.

You can read about the software here

Last edited by Kelvin; 11/23/23 05:56 AM.
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Originally Posted by Al-David
Hi Kelvin,

A very enjoyable, humorous song! Very nicely written and presented. Very nice! I like it a lot.

Alan

Thank you very much Alan - I appreciate your sentiments !

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Originally Posted by dcuny
Fun little ditty.

A pity SynthV doesn't have any British singers, but Hayden and Solaria sound great.

Cha-cha-cha! laugh

Thanks David - yes, maybe they will develop British soon - I hope so !

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Kelvin Offline OP
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Originally Posted by Ezekiel's Storm
Clever and funny lyrics. I especially like this stanza:
"Through the garden gate I go, I’m seeing two front doors,
Two keys, two locks, two houses – I’m crawling on all fours.
On the step she’s standing , she’s not looking too amused,
I really can’t be blaming her, I should never get so boozed" laugh

That must be you playing the chimes/bells?

Synths sound real. It must take time to program the voices.

Thanks very much.

I didn't actually play the chimes live - its a software instrument from Spitfire Audio - I played it in on my keyboard !
The voices can sound amazing when the software is in the hands of an expert - I am still learning the nuances, so I am very pleased that you think they sound real !

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Funny lyrics and a very interesting story --as long it's the "other" guy. Catchy chorus and it's even a fun sing-along like all good Christmas songs should be. Love it, Kelvin.


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

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Kelvin, this is a very catchy and clever song.
You did a great job on those synth voices.
Super mix.


Whenever I get something stuck in the back of my throat, I dislodge it by drinking a beer.
It's called the Heineken Maneuver.

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Originally Posted by BabuMusic
Funny lyrics and a very interesting story --as long it's the "other" guy. Catchy chorus and it's even a fun sing-along like all good Christmas songs should be. Love it, Kelvin.

Thank you very much - happy holidays !

Last edited by Kelvin; 11/24/23 04:23 PM.
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Originally Posted by MarioD
Kelvin, this is a very catchy and clever song.
You did a great job on those synth voices.
Super mix.

Thanks very much !!

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We all need a fun song at times like these.
Good one.

Vic

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