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Ok.

1. Sorry to clog up the board with two songs in quick succession. I said, in my previous post, that I was out of inspiration. Well, today something happened, it seems. Anyway, here's a new, original song. I promise I will listen and comment on double the amount of songs, to make up for it .

2. I'm way out of my comfort zone on this one - for one, I'm singing more or less throughout it. But see what you think? All advice and feedback very welcome - thanks so much for listening.

Christmas


CHRISTMAS

I'm sat down, for Christmas ... the snow is so deep,
I'm sat down, for Christmas, and wish I could sleep,
The presents are ready, the tree is up there,
And all that remains is a reply to my prayer.

It's been such a long time since I saw you, last,
You kissed me, last Christmas, and left, oh so fast ...
You left me to wander, my hopes all but blown,
For everything's ready, but now I'm alone.

So let me just hope, while I eat Christmas roast,
That you've not gone far, but just to the shops,
That you'll return, some strange day, and sit down to talk,
As if nothing had happened, as if you just took a walk.

It's still Christmas Eve, the house's getting dark,
I blow out the candles, I hear angels hark,
I go wrap up warm, and thence off to bed,
Thinking of all the things you and I had once said ...

The vows of our marriage, the hopes we once had,
The joys of some children, we had it all planned ...
It's Christmas, once more, and I'm all alone,
So please do forgive that I still wait by the phone ...

So let me just hope, while I eat Christmas roast,
That you've not gone far, but just to the shops,
That you'll be back, some Christmas, and sit down to talk,
And if nothing had happened, as if you'd never walked ...

This house's getting colder with each Christmas Day,
So, please, if you care, don't let me so wait,
For life has a limit, and time is not kind,
So please, if you can ... come back tonight.

Come back, if you can, today or tonight.


****** Song Summary *************
Title: Christmas - 26 November 2023
File:Christmas - 26 November 2023.SGU
Key=C , Tempo 90, Length (m:s)=4:16
No intro. 124 bar chorus, from bar 1 to bar 124. Repeat x1 chorus
No Melody
No Soloist track.
Song is saved with Volume, Pan, Reverb, Chorus, Bank0,
Song is saved with bar changes for Key Signature,
Style is _ORIGINS.STY (Origins Country Folk Piano Waltz)

RealTracks in style: ~1121:Bass, Acoustic, CountryWaltz Sw 085
RealTracks in style: ~1700:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm CountryWaltz Sw 085
RealTracks in style: 3411:Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm OldTimeyWaltz Sw 090
RealTracks in style: 3369:Mandolin, Rhythm OldTimeyWaltzAndy Sw 090
RealDrums in style:NashClassicWaltzSw^6-a:SideStick, Brushes , b:Snare, Brushes

*******************

James, well, it's a SAD song, isn't it? So I feel a LITTLE bad saying I enjoyed listening to it. Love all the modulations you put in the progressions to keep it musically interesting. Love your voice, too. But I married a Brit so may be biased. Ha! Thanks for sharing!

AH, you are way too inpirtional to others to exclude yourself from such enthusiasm. Love this, James, and to me you seem quite comfortable. Your zone is much larger that you think. I like the change of keys --a very subtle modulation. It really conveys your anticipation very well. Merry Christmas to you!

Hullo James.
A nice sentiment and instrument selection but to my ears there are some odd sounding chord changes here and there that you may want to change.

Also, These lyrics (You kissed me, last Christmas, and left, oh so fast) suggest she left last Christmas after a kiss but in the last verse (This house's getting colder with each Christmas Day) you are suggesting more than 1 Christmas has passed.
You could change that line to "This house is much colder on this Christmas Day".

Could be a nice song with some changes.

Vic

DC Ron: thanks! Yes, a sad song (I write many of those, lol), but thanks for your kind words, nevertheless!

Marty: thanks and a Merry Christmas to you, too!

Vic: absolutely spot on, especially regarding the lyrics. Argh! How didn't I spot that? THANKS for pointing it out!!!

Nicely done James...

Beautiful song and a good vocal. I also like the mix - very clear with good separation.

Bob

Hi James,

As always, your song is so good. As, I believe Ron said, it's a bit odd saying such a sad song is an enjoyable listen. But it is. I enjoyed the key modulations - they tend to give a song renewed life.

You are the king of spoken word!

Wishing you the very best,

Alan

Ah, a sad "I'm without you on Christmas". Are you sure you're not a country singer?

Like the blues, it's hard to go wrong with this sort of song, and you do a good job here.

While I liked the modulations, some of the chord changes feel out of place. I suspect I'll always gripe about them, and you'll continue to use them forever.

With the cell phone fitting in one's pocket, this line doesn't have the punch it once had:

   ...I still wait by the phone ...

Anyway, I enjoyed the song - nicely done.

James, this is a beautiful sad Christmas song.
You are the expert for spoken work songs.
I did like your chord progression.
Great job on this one.

A sad song, James.

Wish you had sung this one.

fj

Hi James.

This song was quite an experience.
The lyrics are sad and filled with forlorn hope. Your story is well thought through and you've captured it in song form very well.
While some of the chord changes surprised me, it seems to me that you chose those chordal surprises to make the listener feel the emotional disruption and turmoil that the song's character feels. That was was a clever strategy and one I admire. It worked for me and help amplify that emotional content of the lyrics.

Thank you for sharing it
--Noel

Bob: thank you.

Alan: so kind, as always. Thank you!

David Cuny: it's good to have SOMEONE to at least try to keep me in check with my modulations As for the cell phone thing, how does the listener actually know what kind of phone it is that I'm waiting by? Thanks so much for your kind feedback!

Mario: thank you!

floyd: I tried to sing it, but I'm no good at singing songs (partly because of my unorthodox chord progressions), unless I have the tune written down in front of me. This wasn't the case here, because I wanted to sound as if I'm improvising, so ... that's what happened. Thanks, though, for listening!

Noel: wow - thank you. Too kind. My chord progressions are a little like that spread we have here in the UK - Marmite ... people either love them or hate them, it seems, haha Thanks so much for such kind comments, so glad that you enjoyed the song.

Well done and it captures the blue Christmas feeling that many folks have.
Good mix/band too and modulations sound good.

Happy Holidays,

J&B