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Why Does Santa...? Well, it was between this one and one about an elf that goes postal. Won't be everyone's cup of eggnog, but...'tis the season... Ho! Ho! Ho! Key=G , Tempo 87, Length (m:s)=3:24 Style is _DTHVLY+.STY (Death Vly Train-Beat MultiStyle) RealTracks in style: 2912:Bass, Electric CountryTrainBeat12-key Ev16 090 RealTracks in style: 2778:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm TrainBeatMike12-key Ev16 090 (MIDI played through GrandRhapsody Honky Tonk Piano) RealTracks in style: 1761:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming Pop16ths Ev16 085 RealTracks in style: 2777:Pedal Steel, Background TrainBeatEddy12-key Ev16 090 RealTracks in song: 676:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming FolkRockBritEighths Ev 085 RealDrums in style:TrainBeat: a: Train Snare, Kick b: Train Snare, BusyKick R.W. Davis: Lyrics D.A. Hughes: BGV arrangement, vocals Me: Tinsel and stuff Well, this is the time of year When we are all in great cheer We gather ‘round the mistletoe And run out in the virgin snow We celebrate the birth of Christ And wonder who’s been naughty or nice Well, this is the time of year To dream of elves and reindeer Go to bed early, wake up quick To see what was left by St. Nick Check under the tree for your gifts And hope you were on top of their lists The cookies are gone There is mud on the floor Something is amiss With this Christmas décor There’s someone by the fireplace Snoring up a storm You recognize his bearded face And his uniform But why does Santa smell like booze? Why did he throw up on my shoes? And what does he have left to lose? Oh, Santa Oh, Santa Well, we fetch a cup of joe As he wakes up, ho ho ho And just as we’re about to ask He pulls out a tiny li’l flask He looks us all right in the eyes Says “Bottoms up!” to our surprise Well, he finishes his drink And we don’t know what to think Should we call the cops or the North Pole? Or keep him here out of the cold? We’re all confused and full of doubts Did NORAD* track him to our house? The coffee is gone He’s yet to get sober Maybe he’ll be right Some night next October There’s only so much we can do On this holiday We’ve got to push him to get through And back into his sleigh Oh, why does Santa smell like booze? Is that him on the local news? Chasing around the camera crews? Oh, Santa Oh, Santa Oh, Santa, why do you smell like booze? Are you having the Christmas-time blues? I hope you’re not breaking any yuletide laws Or you’ll get in trouble with Mrs. Claus…. But why does Santa smell like booze? Why did he throw up on my shoes? And what does he have left to lose? Oh, Santa Oh, whoa, whoa, Santa *NORAD Santa Tracker Wiki
Last edited by DC Ron; 12/19/23 04:35 PM.
DC Ron
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Extremely clever!
LOL!
Great everything
Loved it
I'm in a fitness protection program. I'm been hiding from exercise.
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Extremely clever! LOL! Great everything Loved it Mario, THANK YOU for the quick listen and input. Y'know, there are so many genuinely heartfelt holiday tunes here that I was reluctant to offer a parody. But thought it was worth a shot. Glad you liked it!
DC Ron
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Hi Ron,
A really catchy tune! A little Christmas cheer is good for us. Anything that makes me smile is probably a hit in my book.
Your vocalist always nails it. Thanks for a great listen!
Merry Christmas,
Alan
BIAB 2024 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win11*32GB DDR5*Rhyzen 9745x*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120* Acoustic/Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops
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Hi Ron, A really catchy tune! A little Christmas cheer is good for us. Anything that makes me smile is probably a hit in my book. Your vocalist always nails it. Thanks for a great listen! Merry Christmas, Alan Alan, so nice that you liked it! Not too many things more important in life than a smile. Honored to have a part in that. Ha! Merry Christmas to you and Di as well! All the best, Ron
DC Ron
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Ron, That's great. Should be a Christmas classic.  Great vocal, harmonies and production. Everything sounds excellent. Bob
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Terrific! Loved everything about this. I agree with Bob, should be a Christmas Classic. Really well done, enjoyed very much! Now, post the one about the elf that goes postal please 
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A very cheerful and upbeat seasonal song with nice vocals. It put a smile on my face.
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DC, Very funny! I really liked this one!!! Ha ha. Excellent mix though, among all the frivolity. Ok if that is the way you are going to roll, I guess I need to pull out "Christmas Truck."
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Ron, That's great. Should be a Christmas classic. Great vocal, harmonies and production. Everything sounds excellent. Bob Bob, ha! A grim classic indeed. Glad you liked it! Terrific! Loved everything about this. I agree with Bob, should be a Christmas Classic. Really well done, enjoyed very much! Now, post the one about the elf that goes postal please Dave, THANKS for the listen and the compliments. We have an album's worth of holiday tunes, and they are mostly...uh..."offbeat" is probably the best word. I'll have to ponder the elf song, it's pretty far out there. A very cheerful and upbeat seasonal song with nice vocals. It put a smile on my face. Andy, a smile is EXACTLY the reaction we were going for. THANK YOU!! DC, Very funny! I really liked this one!!! Ha ha. Excellent mix though, among all the frivolity. Ok if that is the way you are going to roll, I guess I need to pull out "Christmas Truck." David, so glad this pressed your "Like" button! Looking forward to hearing your "Christmas Truck". It might motivate a post of our elf-gone-postal song. Certain to offend folks on both sides of the 2nd Amendment debate...
Last edited by DC Ron; 12/19/23 12:06 PM.
DC Ron
BiaB Audiophile
Presonus Studio One
ASUS I9-12900K DAW, 32 GB RAM
Presonus Faderport 16
Too many guitars (is that a thing?)
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Hi, Ron. Fun, silly song with some clever rhymes.  Nice pop sound and vocals (as usual).
-- David Cuny My virtual singer development blogVocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?BiaB 2025 | Windows 11 | Reaper | Way too many VSTis.
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Pretty cool lyrics and rendition of them. Good production. Mood-improve groove. Love it ![[Linked Image - Only viewable when logged in]](https://www.pgmusic.com/forums/images/icons/default/thumbs_up.gif)
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Hi, Ron. Fun, silly song with some clever rhymes. Nice pop sound and vocals (as usual). David, THANKS for the listen! "Fun" and "silly" were the points for sure. Ho! Ho! Ho! Pretty cool lyrics and rendition of them. Good production. Mood-improve groove. Love it B.D., glad you enjoyed it! "mood-improve groove" is a neat term I've not heard before. But I think I like it! Thanks for stopping by!
DC Ron
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Ron...this should become a standard...circa "I Saw Mama Kissin' Santa Claus" or the like...great Christmas offering...nice tune...clever lyric and a great performance and production!
www.soundclick.com/firesongBiaB 2024, Steinberg Cubase Pro 13, Wavelab 11.2, SpetraLayers Pro 10, Audacity, Steinberg UR44 Interface, Yamaha Genos, Roland FP60 and FP10, Windows 10 You are who you are because you do what you do because of what you believe.
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Ron...this should become a standard...circa "I Saw Mama Kissin' Santa Claus" or the like...great Christmas offering...nice tune...clever lyric and a great performance and production! Dan, Glad you liked it! "I Saw Mama Kissing Santa Claus" is a great song. Thank you! Of course, it's no "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer". Ha! Merry Christmas! Ron
DC Ron
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HOHOHO!
HAHAHA!
The best new Xmas song I've heard in years.
Should be a classic.
fj
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What a fun cool song!
Yep.... no cookies and milk for Santa. Bourbon whisky.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Great song with commercial viability. It reminds me of the Santa in the film Violent Night. Merry Christmas!
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HOHOHO! HAHAHA! The best new Xmas song I've heard in years. Should be a classic. fj Floyd, thanks for the listen and compliment! Lots of nice Christmas tunes on this forum. This one does have an endearing silliness. Fun to sing along to, too. Ha! Merry Christmas! What a fun cool song! Yep.... no cookies and milk for Santa. Bourbon whisky. Herb, yeah, sounds like he's drinking his calories. Glad you liked it! Hope you and yours have a Merry Christmas! Ron
DC Ron
BiaB Audiophile
Presonus Studio One
ASUS I9-12900K DAW, 32 GB RAM
Presonus Faderport 16
Too many guitars (is that a thing?)
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Great song with commercial viability. It reminds me of the Santa in the film Violent Night. Merry Christmas! Ooh, think I missed Violent Night. Doesn't sound like a happy ending is in store with that title though. Ha! Glad you liked the song despite the sinister sounding association. Wishing you a Merry Christmas as well!! Ron
DC Ron
BiaB Audiophile
Presonus Studio One
ASUS I9-12900K DAW, 32 GB RAM
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Too many guitars (is that a thing?)
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Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
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Band-in-a-Box 2026 Video: AI Stems & Notes - split polyphonic audio into instruments and transcribe
This video demonstrates how to use the new AI-Notes feature together with the AI-Stems splitter, allowing you to select an audio file and have it separated into individual stems while transcribing each one to its own MIDI track. AI-Notes converts polyphonic audio—either full mixes or individual instruments—into MIDI that you can view in notation or play back instantly.
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Introducing XPro Styles PAK 10 – Now Available for Mac Band-in-a-Box 2025 and Higher!
We've just released XPro Styles PAK 10 for Mac & Windows Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) with 100 brand new RealStyles, plus 28 RealTracks and RealDrums!
Few things are certain in life: death, taxes, and a brand spankin’ new XPro Styles PAK! In this, the 10th edition of our XPro Styles PAK series, we’ve got 100 styles coming your way! We have the classic 25 styles each from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, and rounding out this volume's wildcard slot is 25 styles in the Praise & Worship genre! A wide spanning genre, you can find everything from rock, folk, country, and more underneath its umbrella. The included 28 RealTracks and RealDrums can be used with any Band-in-a-Box® 2026 (and higher) package.
Here’s just a small sampling of what you can look forward to in XPro Styles PAK 10: Soft indie folk worship songs, bumpin’ country boogies, gospel praise breaks, hard rockin’ pop, funky disco grooves, smooth Latin jazz pop, bossa nova fusion, western swing, alternative hip-hop, cool country funk, and much more!
Special offers until December 31st, 2025!
All the XPro Styles PAKs 1 - 10 are on sale for only $29 ea (Reg. $49 ea), or get them all in the XPro Styles PAK Bundle for only $149 (reg. $299)! Order now!
Learn more and listen to demos of XPro Styles PAKs.
Video: XPro Styles PAK 10 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!
XPro Styles PAKs require Band-in-a-Box® 2025 or higher and are compatible with ANY package, including the Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, and Audiophile Edition.
Introducing Xtra Styles PAK 21 – Now Available for Mac Band-in-a-Box 2025 and Higher!
Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Mac & Windows Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) is here with 200 brand new RealStyles!
We're excited to bring you our latest Xtra Styles PAK installment—the all new Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher)!
Rejoice, one and all, for Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Band-in-a-Box® is here! We’re serving up 200 brand spankin’ new styles to delight your musical taste buds! The first three courses are the classics you’ve come to know and love, including offerings from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, but, not to be outdone, this year’s fourth course is bro country! A wide ranging genre, you can find everything from hip-hop, uptempo outlaw country, hard hitting rock, funk, and even electronica, all with that familiar bro country flair. The dinner bell has been rung, pickup up Xtra Styles PAK 21 today!
In this PAK you’ll discover: Energetic folk rock, raucous train beats, fast country boogies, acid jazz grooves, laid-back funky jams, a bevy of breezy jazz waltzes, calm electro funk, indie synth pop, industrial synth metal, and more bro country than could possibly fit in the back of a pickup truck!
Special offers until December 31st, 2025!
All the Xtra Styles PAKs 1 - 21 are on special for only $29 each (reg $49), or get all 21 PAKs for $199 (reg $399)! Order now!
Learn more and listen to demos of the Xtra Styles PAK 21.
Video: Xtra Styles PAK 21 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!
Note: The Xtra Styles require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box®. (Xtra Styles PAK 21 requires the 2025 or higher UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition. They will not work with the Pro or MegaPAK version because they need the RealTracks from the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.
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