Log in to post
|
Print Thread |
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 501
Journeyman
|
OP
Journeyman
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 501 |
My question for this one is, 'Does the storyline and twist make sense'? As is usual for me, the lyrics are in the description in the SoundCloud link. I appreciate any and all constructive feedback fellow songwriters. Dewey Warning Label (SoundCloud) _CHARMER.STY. Charmer Modern Pop Country All RealTracks. BPM = 120 Instruments: El.Bass, Guitar, El.Guitar, El.Guitar, El.Guitar, El.Guitar, Drums RD: NashvilleEven8^5-a:Snare, HiHat , b:Snare, Ride :Brian Fullen RT4028: Bass, Electric, ModernCountry8ths Ev 120 , Michael Rhodes RT4421: Guitar, Lap Steel, Background CountryPopGritty Ev 120 , Rob Ickes This was part of the style but I opted not to use it. RT4054: Guitar, Electric, Rhythm ModernCountryStraightPowerRiff Ev 120 , Brent Mason RT4052: Guitar, Electric, Rhythm ModernCountryStraightHighRiff Ev 120 , Brent Mason RT4055: Guitar, Electric, Rhythm ModernCountryStraightHighHeld Ev 120 , Brent Mason RT4053: Guitar, Electric, Rhythm ModernCountryStraightTremoloHeld Ev 120 , Brent Mason
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 6,805
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 6,805 |
Hi, Dewey. Fun write, nice twist. As always, well sung and producted. So yes, and yes.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 4,219
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 4,219 |
Dewey, good concept and the final twist adds to the fun. Very well sung and produced. I enjoyed it a lot, Tom
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,288
Expert
|
Expert
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,288 |
Dewey, a perfect little song. Strong vocals, catchy, tightly wrapped, clever...
Really, nothing doesn't work here. GREAT job!
DC Ron BiaB Audiophile Presonus Studio One StudioCat DAW dual screen Presonus Faderport 16 Too many guitars (is that a thing?)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jul 2022
Posts: 1,624
Expert
|
Expert
Joined: Jul 2022
Posts: 1,624 |
Great band, great vocals, great production. I love it!
She's a local attraction and a helluva mystery Got a body built in Detroit; talks like small-town Mississippi And that red broken heart tattoo on her neck Ain't as harmless as a country boy might expect
I could never come up with lyrics like that. 110% rock poetry!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 11,811
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 11,811 |
Dewey,
Very well written. Well sung, well produced. And a nice mix. Nice use of BIAB. A more modern sound to both the tracks and the cadence of the lyric Very enjoyable.
fj
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 21,091
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 21,091 |
Dewey, that was the perfect twist! Great song strong vocal great mix loved those lyrics loved the entire song
You know you're getting old when a recliner and a heating pad is your idea of a hot date!
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 7,870
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 7,870 |
Really clever song Dewey!
I like it a lot!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: May 2023
Posts: 546
Journeyman
|
Journeyman
Joined: May 2023
Posts: 546 |
Excellent country rock song all around, lyrically, instrumentation and mix. Really well done.
Some favourite Waoist Adages: #1: Play on the Way. #17: Ask not for whom the flower blooms, it blooms for you. #69: Bring consciousness to it. #74: On the road to effortlessness, effort must be made. #105: Be Love Now, the rest will come on its own.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,452
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,452 |
Dewy,
It's always a good thing to see a new one from you.
I see this as "modern" country done right. Good lyric, arrangement, and backing tracks. And yes, the vocal/lyrical twist at the end works just fine.
I like it a lot!
Alan
BIAB 2024 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win11*16GB DDR5*Rhyzen 9745x*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120* Acoustic/Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 6,825
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 6,825 |
Dewey,
Makes sense to me. Always a clever write, good vocals and good production.
Enjoyed!
Bob
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 637
Journeyman
|
Journeyman
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 637 |
Several comments: 1 - I really liked the whole song, the groove, the story in the lyrics, excellent use of Real Tracks, your vocals fit perfectly. 2 - great productions, and mix. 3 - I think you can use a vocal harmony in the chorus to really bring that out more, and maybe a bit less instruments in verses to give the chorus more power. 4 - The Twist - in the middle 8 - I really had to read your lyrics several times to find what you said was the twist ... I like the concept of her shilling shots for her Dad, but I dont think its obvious enough to get if I was not looking for it and reading. And I dont know if that hangs well with the rest of the song, her having a Warning Label. In songwriting it is best to focus on a single concept ... mostly because people dont listen that closely any more, they dont even listen to verses any more. NICE SONG!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 14,224
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 14,224 |
"Does the storyline and twist make sense?"
Absolutely. The write is creative and engaging.
Your vocals nailed the vibe along with the sessions guys.
And it's all wrapped in an excellent mix.
Enjoyed it!
J&B
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 5,291
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 5,291 |
Dewey,
Very clever little tune! This simple ole songwriter wouldn't have a clue how to give any advice on your storyline here. It sounds like you spent quite a bit of time constructing your line and word phrasing! It all seems to fit perfectly to me! The little falsetto bit in the chorus was a clever and wise choice...really adds to the song! Excellent work!
Thanks, TB
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2022
Posts: 872
Expert
|
Expert
Joined: Feb 2022
Posts: 872 |
You did it again Dewey! Really creative writing with some great lines in here. I thought the twist was clear and I got it easily. Elliott may still have a point, because I was listening closely, as I tend to do with your stuff. Though I thought by putting the twist in the bridge like you did kind of draws your ear into the song a little more and makes it easier to catch, so once again - great writing. The production was good too!
Brad
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 3,500
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 3,500 |
VERY good, Dewey. In order to answer you question, I had to defer the play button until I read the lyrics. Yeah, I loe the twist. It's why I always liked the Hitchcocl TV shows. It works really well BECAUSE it's subtle. Now, on to the music... brb
Your vocals are always so good. Very creative song right from the germ of an idea to crafting the perfect band to present this well-written gem. Great bar song. Much enjoyed.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 501
Journeyman
|
OP
Journeyman
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 501 |
Thank you everyone for the feedback on 'Warning Label'. I especially appreciate the specific feedback about what works (an doesn't work) in this one for you. Elliott's comments about the bridge got me to thinking about making sure the hook of the song stays on point. This has been one area I've been working to get better at over the last few years. The reason I love writing bridges is because it is an opportunity to change up the melody and to surprise the listener with a twist to the story or taking them on a short but deeper-dive on some aspect of the hook. For 'Warning Label', I think I'm going to keep it as-is when I submit it to the NSAI evaluation service to see what they say. I'll keep you posted!
Dewey
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 7,604
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 7,604 |
Very cool country tune. Loved the groove. Excellent vocal and lyric. Guitar was excellent as well.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 501
Journeyman
|
OP
Journeyman
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 501 |
Very cool country tune. Loved the groove. Excellent vocal and lyric. Guitar was excellent as well. Thank you Scott! This was a fun one to write. Can't take credit for the guitar work, though. Dewey
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Video: Band-in-a-Box® + ChatGPT = Impressed the BOSS!
Band-in-a-Box User Video Tutorials!
If you've reviewed our Support page, you've probably noticed the Videos page, which separates our Band-in-a-Box® tutorial videos by category: Overview, VST DAW Plugin, Setup, Beginner, Intermediate, Advanced, and there's even an Archive category to go down memory lane... (You'll also find these videos on our YouTube Channel.)
It's always great to hear how other Band-in-a-Box® users create their songs, especially when they explain in detail what they're doing. Like Henry Clarke's YouTube Channel, Henry Clarke - Senior Musicians Unite! There you'll find his ALL Band-in-a-Box Tutorials playlist with over 50 videos! His top-three most watched videos include "How to Get Started with Band-in-a-Box," "How I use the Audio Chord Wizard in Band-in-a-Box," and "How to Create An Effective Solo Using Band-in-a-Box" - however he touches on many other topics and also demonstrates his own Band-in-a-Box® songs in the Band-in-a-Box Created Songs playlist!
You're guaranteed to find some helpful videos when you visit Henry Clarke's channel!
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 Italian for Windows is Here!
Ci siamo dati da fare e abbiamo aggiunto oltre 50 nuove funzionalità e una straordinaria raccolta di nuovi contenuti, tra cui 222 RealTracks, nuovi RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Instrumental Studies, "Songs with Vocals" Artist Performance Sets, Playable RealTracks Set 3, Playable RealDrums Set 2, due nuovi set di "RealDrums Stems", XPro Styles PAK 6, Xtra Styles PAK 17 e altro ancora!
Tutti Pacchetti | Nuove Caratteristiche
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 French for Windows is Here!
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 apporte plus de 50 fonctions nouvelles ainsi qu'une importante de contenus nouveaux à savoir : 222 RealTracks, des RealStyles nouveaux, des SuperTracks MIDI, des Etudes d'Instruments, des Prestations d'Artistes, des "Morceaux avec Choeurs", un Set 3 de Tracks Jouables, un Set 2 de RealDrums Jouables, deux nouveaux Sets de "RealDrums Stems", des Styles XPro PAK 6, des Xtra Styles PAK 17 et bien plus encore!
Tous Packages | Nouvelles Fonctionnalités
Video: Making a Song with Band-in-a-Box®, ChatGPT, and Synth V
Take your Band-in-a-Box® project to a whole new level when you incorporate ChatGPT and Synth V to add lyrics and vocals to your song!
We wanted to demonstrate how this is done with our video, where we show you how to go from nothing to a finished "radio ready" modern pop song by combining the features of Band-in-a-Box®, ChatGPT, and Synth V!
Listen to the finished song, so you get a listen to the finished product: https://demos.pgmusic.com/misc/behindthefame.m4a
If you like it, watch the video. Either way, let's hear your comments!
Henry Clarke: Revolutionize Your Band-in-Box® Tracks with Regenerating Function
User Video: Convert MIDI Chords into AI Vocal Harmonies with ACE Studio and Band-in-a-Box®
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Forums65
Topics81,926
Posts739,802
Members38,646
|
Most Online2,537 Jan 19th, 2020
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|