Several comments: 1 - I really liked the whole song, the groove, the story in the lyrics, excellent use of Real Tracks, your vocals fit perfectly.
2 - great productions, and mix. 3 - I think you can use a vocal harmony in the chorus to really bring that out more, and maybe a bit less instruments in verses to give the chorus more power.
4 - The Twist - in the middle 8 - I really had to read your lyrics several times to find what you said was the twist ... I like the concept of her shilling shots for her Dad, but I dont think its obvious enough to get if I was not looking for it and reading. And I dont know if that hangs well with the rest of the song, her having a Warning Label. In songwriting it is best to focus on a single concept ... mostly because people dont listen that closely any more, they dont even listen to verses any more. NICE SONG!!


Elliott Kayne
elliottkayne@gmail.com
https://www.reverbnation.com/kaynemusic
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