Originally Posted by dcuny
Hi, Brain.

Nice song! I was going to make a couple comments, but I see you beat me to them...

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But before you ask: No, I have no idea what exactly I'm protesting against, but I'm pretty sure it's important.
Yep. Perhaps a bit too generic, but then, people are always saying that songs should be universal, and what could be more universal than a song that applies to everything? wink

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For a change, I tried a wild mix of end rhymes and internal rhymes
I think it kinda works.
At least I'd like to think so.
Yep, the work well enough. The inner rhymes were fun.

You've got some sort of distortion on the vocal that didn't work for me. Not a big deal.

The title doesn't seem to match the song. The POV of the title addresses people, telling them they need to fight for their rights, while the POV of the song is the narrator addressing the towe-dwelling bloodsucking vampire freaks. Not a big deal at all.

I like the contrast between the verse and chorus - it's always good to have a song make the sound different.

Anyway, good job.
Hi David,
thanks for listening and your detailed feedback.
Much appreciated as always [Linked Image - Only viewable when logged in]

The distortion you mentioned is intentional. I figured an angry girl shouting out loudly into a mic wouldn't care that the meters are deep red, giving it more authenticity.
I have to admit that it's not so pleasing to the ear.

You have a good point with the POV, it wasn't an easy decision between "...for my rights", "...for our rights" and "...for your rights".
The first one sounds selfish and the last one is not exactly what the song is about.
But the second option, in my opinion, has such a bad flow (as a title) that I didn't like it at all.

Goldmania Bella
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