Hey, welcome to the forum!

That sounds great and is a excellent foray into this forum community.

There are a lot of things that are really "right" about this song, including the structure, the lyrics, the hook, the instrumentation and the spirit behind it.

Congratulations on all of that!

There are a lot of songwriters around here so feel free to tell people how much constructive criticism you want and that kind of thing as you go along, because people can keep it light or go as deep as you want to if you want ideas on phrasing or mixing or anything, since I am assuming that you have serious goals as a songwriter.

But this certainly is a wonderful start and once again welcome to the forum!

🙂

Also I'll give you a tip since you're brand new.

There is almost an exact one-to-one ratio on how many views and comments a person gets and the number of comments that they give on the other people in the community.

Some people are missing the math equation on that.

Just to let you know that if you participate wholeheartedly in this forum you're going to get an incredible amount of helpful and supportive feedback from everyone around you.