Hi, gman97040.

Welcome to the forum! You've got a nice voice, and play well - I enjoyed listening to the song.

I'll offer some thoughts, but I can't guarantee they've got any value. I certainly can't claim to have any secrets to writing a great song. So take them all with a huge grain of salt. laugh

I'm not sure the drums are the best match for this song - the eighth notes on the snare don't match the other instruments. It seems there are places where the instruments fighting each other rhythmically - for example, in the introduction at 0:17, things get a bit out of sync, and also around 0:24.

I feel like there should be more change in instrumentation between the sections. For example, the constant strumming of the guitar could be drop out at the start of the verse. There should be more change between the instrumentation of the verse and chorus as well.

Here's the first verse:

When I was young
I always dreamed that I'd become
someone other than
the man I am today

and after
all these years
it’s all so very clear
that the road ends
with who I am today

and I am fine with that
because of you

You've got all these... arbitrary pauses... in your song... in order to make it... fit into the music.

This is less than ideal. The music and chords should be constructed so they fit together seamlessly.

Breaking them this way also makes it harder to hear the rhythmic structure, and the rhyme scheme.

You can sometimes get away with this in a verse, because it has a sort of "talking" feel rather than "sung". But it's not a strong choice.

The harmony is static, and the melody fairly flat. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, since that's typical for a lot of verses.

The rhymes - young/become, years/clear - are "false" rhymes, and you've repeated today.

There's a long gap between the verse and the chorus. Since the chorus is the answer to the verses, going right into the chorus without that pause would work better.

Here's the chorus:

(With) you I got a friend
won’t change direction
like the wind
you’re a fixture
in my life
Oh Baby you and me
we got it right

You're doing the same thing you did with the verse - adding gaps so it better fits. And it's more of an issue here, because you need your chorus to be melodically strong and memorable, but adding gaps creates the exact opposite effect. Remove the gaps, and the rhymes and structure appear:

(With) you I got a friend
won’t change direction like the wind
you’re a fixture in my life
Oh Baby you and me we got it right

While "fixture" has the meaning you're looking for, I associate a "fixture" with furniture and bathtubs. Perhaps consider a different word?

Once again, you're using "false" rhymes - friend/wind, life/right.

I've mentioned already that the chorus sounds a lot like the verse. Since I struggle with this myself, I can only unhelpfully suggest "make it sound more like a chorus". wink

I'm not sure the chorus supports the song title of "We Got It Right". The lyric isn't about how the two of them work together, but how the narrator is now grounded because their significant other is a "friend" who "won't change direction" and is "a fixture" in their life. Reading through the lyrics, I can't find any description of what the narrator has done in return, or how they are a team. That may not matter at all.

I've got no idea if any of this is helpful or not. If not... that's cool. smile

-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?