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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 169
Apprentice
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OP
Apprentice
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 169 |
Hi Everyone, I did not realize this forum existed and I first put this song on the off topic forum. I wrote this song after reading the 3 volumes about a most unusual girl called Lisbeth Salander written by Stieg Larsson - these books were the inspiration for this song. I used some BIAB tracks (drums and bass from GOODGRL+ style - parts b, c, d) and guitar and piano played on CVP509. I did not use any real tracks. http://www.box.net/shared/i288b6f7duThe words are: Tattoo Girl Verse 1 Hey tattoo girl I love your piercing eyes They tell me nothing about you You stay silent in my mind But I know you are searching For truths out there somewhere Revealing nothing about yourself Just living your normal life Chorus You're neurotic, You're psychotic You hack into a world of crime It's the way you pass your time You're rational You're logical No reason to have locked you away Believing you couldn't make it your way Bridge You're neurotic, You're psychotic You're rational You're logical You're neurotic, You're psychotic You're rational You're logical Tattoo girl you're a star Free to be who you are Bisexual, Intellectual Mathematical, Fanatical Verse 2 Hey tattoo girl Your face a mask of innocence It tells me nothing about you You stay silent in my mind You don't forget who offended you No forgiveness for their hurt And you will always fight for justice Justice within your own moral code Chorus + Tattoo girl you're a star Free to be who you are Bisexual, Intellectual Mathematical, Fanatical Tattoo girl you're a star I hope you like it and any comments much appreciated. Jim
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,203
Expert
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Expert
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,203 |
Hi Jim,
Not really my cup of tea this one but...
I would dispense with the bridge verse and just use an instrument break in there.
Also I would hide the ending by fading out.
All comments geared to help.
Best regards
Michee
Windows 11 64 bit, Biab 2026 (1237), Realband 2026 (10)
i7 Desktop Computer 16Gb Memory
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User Showcase
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 169
Apprentice
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OP
Apprentice
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 169 |
Hi Michee,
Thanks for listening and since you did not like the song it was very good of you to comment.
It seems people either hate or love this song. It is different in style - unusual but then Lizbeth Salander is an unusual girl. I don't want to remove the bridge since this repeating provides an hypnotic affect I wanted. It seems it is not at all popular on BIAB site - but on a different keyboard site it got good comments. That is why I think one either hates or loves it. I think people who have read the books like it the best.
I did fade out the end but maybe fading a little earlier would be good.
Thanks again Michee for commenting - I thought I might get zero comments so you have broken my duck to put it in cricketing terms.
Best Regards
Jim
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 20,587
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 20,587 |
Hi Jim,
There's no denying that your mixing, production, mastering skills continue to improve with each post. I also notice that your singing is getting more and more confident. As I was listening to the song, my impression was that the music did not always do the words justice. Have you tried using some of the more aggressive sounding instruments like distorted guitar, pounding drums, etc., in the mix? To my way of thinking, such instruments (and increasing the tempo a bit) could be a good fit for words like "neurotic", "psychotic", etc.
All the best with the next one!
Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2026
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 169
Apprentice
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OP
Apprentice
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 169 |
Hi Noel,
Thanks for listening and commenting.
I did try more aggressive instruments - actually a distorted guitar as you suggest - in the first instance but abandoned them. I know what you mean - I might return to this one day. I did not think that more aggression was quite right for the character. But interesting comments and much appreciated.
Jim
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 24,716
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 24,716 |
I did not read the book but I did like this a lot. I really like your backing tracks and your vox. Your mix is top notch!
Two thumbs up.
OK, a random thought;
Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who's not buying it?
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,646
Veteran
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Veteran
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,646 |
Like the vocal effects. Fits the song perfect, Thanks for sharing your God given talent! My Music
My TunesPsalm 57:7 My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.
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