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Herb,
I gave you my thoughts in the Nashville songwriters meeting this month and I guess I'll stick to that.
As I said then I love the potential of this song and I think some really wonderful things are going on.
To me the piano playing is beautiful.
I think the lyrics are on the right track for sure, and for sync music there is a fine line between lyrics that don't make any sense and lyrics that make too much sense.
To a certain extent they should be kind of vague, for sync.
So these are the kind of lyrics that don't really make sense or "shine" outside of the context of the music that they are wedded to, but that's okay, because that's the way it's supposed to be, for this type of ethereal sync song.
I think I told you that I spent a long evening many years ago with a guy who was at that time one of the most famous rock and roll singer songwriters on the planet. While we were sitting on the hood of a car he told me that the most important thing that you need to know is that if it's rock and roll, the lyrics can't make sense.
And that the moment you start trying to make sense, you kill the rock and roll. I thought that was pretty funny but I think he has a good point.
In developing the lyric I think that the more you can work with the struggle that's going on and the way people are struggling, and striving and trying to deal with their struggles, the more powerful the lyrics will be, but that's just a matter of trying your hand at a couple of different approaches, so that you really bring out the poignant aspect of the human struggle element.
But I think that all the work will be worth the effort, because I think you're really on to something with this one.
I can see you crafting something here that could be genuinely and authentically powerful. David. Thanks for that. I'm trying not to overthink it. If I overthink, and it's easy to do, it will ruin it. Thanks for the compliment on my piano playing skills. It's where I started with music and kind of got away from it when I got a guitar. It's relaxing and challenging to get back to it.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Doesn't seem to link from my computer??
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Hi Herb,
Great song and arrangement.
Vocals - very sharp and cutting in places - maybe an EQ cut at 3K.
Bass - definitely lacking bass to offset the vocal - much more bass. I would bring the bass in in the second verse.
NB I only make these suggestions cos I like the song.
Best Regards
Nigel
Nigel Spiers
Christchurch, New Zealand
info@nzacoustics.com
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Both versions are very good. If you really push me to choose one, I would go for the bass one, because it gives the chorus some "meat" in the accompaniment, and it contrasts well with the verses. Songwriting-wise: wasn't what I expected, but it held my attention (initially) enough to get into it properly, and then it had this hypnotic charm, mesmerising me. A great, original effort. To be 100% honest, though: Solaria's performance is below par, for me. This song needs emotion, like someone above has said, and Solaria delivers a celluloid, artificial performance (for me), here. If there's nothing better, by way of a voice, fine; but, if there is, it's worth searching for, in my humble opinion. Regardless: a GREAT song.
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My goodness what a song!! and more than that, what a voice. I could listen to her sing all day. Masterfully done. It sounds like you enjoyed it. Thanks for listening.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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haha, I pressed play before reading your song description expecting to hear your voice in there, was a bit of a shock to hear the female vocal  Herb, this is excellent! Just a wonderfully written, emotive song. Vocal is superb, you have certainly mastered the synth vocals. Nice piano too, also liked the pad. Listened to both and prefer the first, the bass isn't adding anything the song needs IMHO. Really good, very much enjoyed. I really need to sing something and I have a few in the works that I might just do that with. I wouldn't consider myself a master of the SV vocalists but I'm simply a student still with much to learn. I'm still up in the air on the final version..... thinking I really need to fix a few of the nits in there first and then figure out what I really need to do to let this show it's better side. Thanks for listening.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Doesn't seem to link from my computer?? All I can say is maybe try a different device. It's a straight up working link. Let me know.... I can convert it to MP3 and send it direct if you can't get to it any other way.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Hi Herb,
Great song and arrangement.
Vocals - very sharp and cutting in places - maybe an EQ cut at 3K.
Bass - definitely lacking bass to offset the vocal - much more bass. I would bring the bass in in the second verse.
NB I only make these suggestions cos I like the song.
Best Regards
Nigel Thanks Nigel for the comments. I'll have a more detailed close listen to the vox for what you mention. I've replaced the pad bass with a production synth bass and playing with it for a bit. Thanks for listening and making your observations.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Both versions are very good. If you really push me to choose one, I would go for the bass one, because it gives the chorus some "meat" in the accompaniment, and it contrasts well with the verses. Songwriting-wise: wasn't what I expected, but it held my attention (initially) enough to get into it properly, and then it had this hypnotic charm, mesmerising me. A great, original effort. To be 100% honest, though: Solaria's performance is below par, for me. This song needs emotion, like someone above has said, and Solaria delivers a celluloid, artificial performance (for me), here. If there's nothing better, by way of a voice, fine; but, if there is, it's worth searching for, in my humble opinion. Regardless: a GREAT song. Thanks. I agree that the bass should be in there for the meatier aspect it gives. As I have mentioned above.... still trying to figure out what actually works the best in there. Thanks for the "GREAT" compliment.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Herb...this is beautiful...you did such a great job with Solaria...the texture and effects on the vocal are really lovely...the sparse instrumentation adds to the depth of the lyric and gorgeous melody...the piano work is excellent...just a wonderful piece of music and performance...you have excelled as the producer here...so very moving and impressive!
www.soundclick.com/firesongBiaB 2024, Steinberg Cubase Pro 13, Wavelab 11.2, SpetraLayers Pro 10, Audacity, Steinberg UR44 Interface, Yamaha Genos, Roland FP60 and FP10, Windows 10 You are who you are because you do what you do because of what you believe.
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Hi, Herb. Really nice job with this - vocals, lyric, melody and arrangement. I think the chorus is especially strong - and the verse is a nice contrast. But... as pretty as the verses are, they don't feel like they're moving the story forward. I feel like you could cut them in half and not lose anything. The part of the song that gives me the feels isn't the verse, but the chorus. What I'd like to hear is the piano break be fleshed out a bit more - I'm thinking of the piano part in "Telegraph Road" - starting quiet like the verse, and building into the chorus. 1. First verse as-is. 2. Drop the second half of verse 2 3. Keep the chorus. It's great. 4. Don't repeat verse 1. 4. Remove the break. Actually, move it... 5. Cut the third verse in half. 6. Piano break goes here. Make use of all the space you've got, break my heart some more, and build into... 7. Final chorus. I also think the piano could do with some more dynamics. The line "come what may" sticks out to me, a lone cliche in an otherwise heartfelt write. Welcome back! You're arrived with a great song - as is.
-- David Cuny My virtual singer development blogVocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?BiaB 2025 | Windows 11 | Reaper | Way too many VSTis.
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Fantastic song with an engaging melody.
Production-wise, I would an instrument to the verse (nothing complicated) and an additional one during the chorus. And then at the last verse of chorus, leave the singer bare with only the piano to give additional emotional impact. I hope that makes sense.
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Herb...this is beautiful...you did such a great job with Solaria...the texture and effects on the vocal are really lovely...the sparse instrumentation adds to the depth of the lyric and gorgeous melody...the piano work is excellent...just a wonderful piece of music and performance...you have excelled as the producer here...so very moving and impressive! I'm glad you took the time to listen and comment. I'm loving technology and what it lets me accomplish. Several of my more recent songs here have been of the sparser nature. There's a certain vulnerability that comes when you keep it to the basics. It changes how you do things because you can't hide behind a wall of sound. Thank you for your comments
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Hi, Herb. Really nice job with this - vocals, lyric, melody and arrangement. I think the chorus is especially strong - and the verse is a nice contrast. But... as pretty as the verses are, they don't feel like they're moving the story forward. I feel like you could cut them in half and not lose anything. The part of the song that gives me the feels isn't the verse, but the chorus. What I'd like to hear is the piano break be fleshed out a bit more - I'm thinking of the piano part in "Telegraph Road" - starting quiet like the verse, and building into the chorus. 1. First verse as-is. 2. Drop the second half of verse 2 3. Keep the chorus. It's great. 4. Don't repeat verse 1. 4. Remove the break. Actually, move it... 5. Cut the third verse in half. 6. Piano break goes here. Make use of all the space you've got, break my heart some more, and build into... 7. Final chorus. I also think the piano could do with some more dynamics. The line "come what may" sticks out to me, a lone cliche in an otherwise heartfelt write. Welcome back! You're arrived with a great song - as is. Thanks for the advice and insights. That sounds like an interesting idea and I might explore that since I'm still considering this a WIP .... I'll work on "come what may" since yeah, that was a lazy line.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Fantastic song with an engaging melody.
Production-wise, I would an instrument to the verse (nothing complicated) and an additional one during the chorus. And then at the last verse of chorus, leave the singer bare with only the piano to give additional emotional impact. I hope that makes sense. Yes it does, kind of.... I think I know what you mean. Glad you liked it and thanks for the recommendation.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Working with MST's for the last couple of years has moved me (Bud) to more and more appreciate the piano. Janice's mother played piano so she has long been a big fan. Listening to your versions the way the piano complemented (and yes that is with an "e"  ) the melody is really nice. I often do a LOT of MST comping to hopefully achieve something like that. And speaking of the melody like fj said that chorus is standout. Everything a chorus should be. Lovely, J&B
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos
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Working with MST's for the last couple of years has moved me (Bud) to more and more appreciate the piano. Janice's mother played piano so she has long been a big fan. Listening to your versions the way the piano complemented (and yes that is with an "e" ) the melody is really nice. I often do a LOT of MST comping to hopefully achieve something like that. And speaking of the melody like fj said that chorus is standout. Everything a chorus should be. Lovely, J&B Thanks Bud.... I guess some of the stuff that Mrs Leigh, my piano teacher tried to pound into my thick adolescent skull actually got in there. I'm still trying to figure out what MST stands for. I have ruled out Mountain Standard Time, Military Sexual Trauma, Multi Systemic Therapy, or Magnetic Secure Transmission. I'm glad you enjoyed this song. Especially the chorus. Again.... Thanks for listening.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Working with MST's for the last couple of years has moved me (Bud) to more and more appreciate the piano. Janice's mother played piano so she has long been a big fan. Listening to your versions the way the piano complemented (and yes that is with an "e" ) the melody is really nice. I often do a LOT of MST comping to hopefully achieve something like that. And speaking of the melody like fj said that chorus is standout. Everything a chorus should be. Lovely, J&B Thanks Bud.... I guess some of the stuff that Mrs Leigh, my piano teacher tried to pound into my thick adolescent skull actually got in there. I'm still trying to figure out what MST stands for. I have ruled out Mountain Standard Time, Military Sexual Trauma, Multi Systemic Therapy, or Magnetic Secure Transmission. I'm glad you enjoyed this song. Especially the chorus. Again.... Thanks for listening. “ I'm still trying to figure out what MST stands for. I have ruled out Mountain Standard Time, Military Sexual Trauma, Multi Systemic Therapy, or Magnetic Secure Transmission.” 😂😂😂😂 BiaB’s MidiSuperTracks. They are terrific. Bud
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos
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Working with MST's for the last couple of years has moved me (Bud) to more and more appreciate the piano. Janice's mother played piano so she has long been a big fan. Listening to your versions the way the piano complemented (and yes that is with an "e" ) the melody is really nice. I often do a LOT of MST comping to hopefully achieve something like that. And speaking of the melody like fj said that chorus is standout. Everything a chorus should be. Lovely, J&B Thanks Bud.... I guess some of the stuff that Mrs Leigh, my piano teacher tried to pound into my thick adolescent skull actually got in there. I'm still trying to figure out what MST stands for. I have ruled out Mountain Standard Time, Military Sexual Trauma, Multi Systemic Therapy, or Magnetic Secure Transmission. I'm glad you enjoyed this song. Especially the chorus. Again.... Thanks for listening. “ I'm still trying to figure out what MST stands for. I have ruled out Mountain Standard Time, Military Sexual Trauma, Multi Systemic Therapy, or Magnetic Secure Transmission.” 😂😂😂😂 BiaB’s MidiSuperTracks. They are terrific. Bud Roger that. In fact I took the piano midi track for this song yesterday and let it drive one of the MSTs and it was pretty decent.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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