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Journeyman
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Here's one I just wrote and did a rough recording on which is a bit different from my typical semi-humorous style. I plan to finalize it once I receive the thoughts from those of you willing to listen and give constructive criticism. Na zdrowie! Dewey Home Makers (SoundCloud Link)
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Beatiful Mother's Day song that should be played every day. Well done, Dewey. Excellent lyrics with respect and gratitude --and truth.
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Dewey,
A very nice write.
A very solid chorus.
The 2 line "bridge" into the final chorus is really well done (and the modulation, too).
Using the word "endangered" in the first line felt "harsh". I think a "gentler" opening would suit the song.
(opinion)
The BAND works perfectly for this one.
Nice.
fj
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Dewey, this is a fantastic song
Your vocal is very strong
The lyrics are so true; IMHO homemakers is one of the hardest jobs on the planet.
A great backing band and mix.
I got banned from Weight Watchers for dropping a bag of M&Ms on the floor.
It was the best game of Hungry Hippos I've ever seen!
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Hi, Dewey.
Very pleasant listen! There are some cool chord changes.
A couple thoughts:
And there are still a few protecting it today
While there is a higher percent of households with divorced parents, there are more than "a few" homemakers. As in, millions of them.
From foreign wars to climate change pollution
Thank goodness, for most of us "foreign wars" are indeed "foreign", but to my ear, "foreign" sounds out of place. Maybe that's just me.
I'm not sure "climate change pollution" is a thing. There is "climate changing pollution", and "climate pollution", but I'm unaware of climate change pollution.
Protesting seems to be the best solution
To be pedantic, protesting isn't a solution as much as it is a way to bring awareness of a problem needing solving.
But in terms of the lyric, if you're looking to contrast "the world" against God:
The world keeps looking for a solution
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Dewey, super song! You really crushed the vocals on this one. All those little inflections, slight cracks and well placed vibratos make for fun listening. Like your divergence from the semi-humorous song topic path. Looking forward to the next one.
DC Ron
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Too many guitars (is that a thing?)
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I like that you didn't stick to the same tried and true boring 3 chords. You have some very cool and interesting chord changes in this. And I liked the modulation there towards the end.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Dewey...first off I'm on board fully with the sentiment and truth of this song...secondly so well sung and the cadence of the vocal is captivating...the tempo is perfect and the acoustic and percussion give the track constant life...the modulation was superb (I love me some modulation!)...one of your best in every way!!
If I could offer an opinion: at the key change (2:49) I would like to hear the first phrase (HOME MAKERS Faith-filled soul savers) broken down with no percussion...then you could fade it back in or start it again at the beginning of a phrase...to me that would draw the ear to the lyric and add an added dynamic to the modulation...but that's just me
www.soundclick.com/firesongBiaB 2024, Steinberg Cubase Pro 13, Wavelab 11.2, SpetraLayers Pro 10, Audacity, Steinberg UR44 Interface, Yamaha Genos, Roland FP60 and FP10, Windows 10 You are who you are because you do what you do because of what you believe.
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Strong write, nice changes, and an excellent vocal.
Well done, very much enjoyed!
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Journeyman
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Thank you all for listening to 'Home Makers' and a special thank you to those who offered kind words and constructive criticism! It's the only way I'll get better as a songwriter is to hear from others who have the addiction, passion, and experience. Dewey,
Using the word "endangered" in the first line felt "harsh". I think a "gentler" opening would suit the song.
(opinion)
fj Floyd, I'll definitely consider an alternate word or phrase; my intent was to highlight the decline of the nuclear family over the past several decades and then give honor to 'the few protecting it today'. Thanks for listening and thoughtfully commenting, my friend! Hi, Dewey.
And there are still a few protecting it today
While there is a higher percent of households with divorced parents, there are more than "a few" homemakers. As in, millions of them. I'm sure you are correct, David; however, stating several million are still doing a great job decreases the effect of the line IMO From foreign wars to climate change pollution
Thank goodness, for most of us "foreign wars" are indeed "foreign", but to my ear, "foreign" sounds out of place. Maybe that's just me.
I'm not sure "climate change pollution" is a thing. There is "climate changing pollution", and "climate pollution", but I'm unaware of climate change pollution. I suppose 'foreign' is a preference as you essentially stated (i.e., 'to my ear') and I will for sure consider an alternative word. Climate change pollution, in my mind, includes everything from cow farts to auto emissions that the media has and still does, propagate. Not all pollution is supposed to affect climate change, though (e.g., Light pollution, water pollution). The point is that climate change (formally known as global warming) - and the pollution that causes it - is a common reason for environmental protests. Hi, Dewey.
Protesting seems to be the best solution
To be pedantic, protesting isn't a solution as much as it is a way to bring awareness of a problem needing solving. Very true, David! I'll consider an alternative way to be more accurate in meaning. Good catch! But in terms of the lyric, if you're looking to contrast "the world" against God:
The world keeps looking for a solution Actually, I wasn't consciously attempting to contrast the world against God; since 'world' is, in my mind, a key word I do not want to repeat it as it is set in stone in a the line a can't see changing at all - "It's time the world stood up to give them thanks" If I could offer an opinion: at the key change (2:49) I would like to hear the first phrase (HOME MAKERS Faith-filled soul savers) broken down with no percussion...then you could fade it back in or start it again at the beginning of a phrase...to me that would draw the ear to the lyric and add an added dynamic to the modulation...but that's just me Dan, with your amazing production skills your opinion is a 'must do'! Thanks for listening and I'll mess around with it in my next iteration of this one!! Thank you, my friend
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Apprentice
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Great concept, well thought out song construction and some nice chord work. The only nit pick I would have ( and you asked for suggestions LOL) is that I felt it was too "wordy", and by that I mean I wanted to hear all the lyrics but found myself having to read them after a time, they were so dense. If you compacted the verse and left a little more room for the music to back you up with dynamics I would have enjoyed it a little more. That being said, songwriting is an art form. If it was easy everyone could do it. You my friend...are a songwriter.
Rick
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Journeyman
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Rick, first of all, thank you for listening and sharing your thoughts!
Second, I think my poor enunciation in this version is more of an issue than the amount of words. I agree, there are a few words where I could have sung clearer. My next iteration will for sure address this.
Na zdrowie!
Dewey
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Really nicely done!!! I like the message! Everything else in my life pales in comparison to caring for my kids (young adults now). Nice song!!! Take care. Greg
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Well done!
We enjoyed the sentiment, the vocals, the band and the mix.
Great package indeed.
J&B
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos are here on our website.
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