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I'm working on a new song called Bailout Blues which I will post when finished. I'm looking for some good tag lines to add in at the end. Here are some of the lines I'm choosing from. There are some bright folks here so join in and see if you can come up with a few more good ones for me. This will be a "hoot" when finished (hopefully).
I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
African television stations are now showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials!
Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.
CEO's are now playing miniature golf. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer. My ATM gave me an IOU!
A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.
I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank.
If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico ..
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
They renamed Wall Street "Wal-Mart Street ."
When Bill and Hillary Clinton travel together, they now have to share a room.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
I was so upset last night thinking about the economy, I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck
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1) "you'd EXPECT the economy to go up and down when a YO-YO is running things..."
2) "President Obama's economic plan will create 2.5 million new jobs. The bad news, they are all for terrorists."
3) Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
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The ones you've got sure made me laugh. Funny stuff.
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Ed did a good job doing lyrics that included everyone. Pat immediately laid down lines that will alienate 1/2 the audience. Staying neutral is always funnier and truer.
Kevin
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Quote:
1) "you'd EXPECT the economy to go up and down when a YO-YO is running things..."
2) "President Obama's economic plan will create 2.5 million new jobs. The bad news, they are all for terrorists."
Why does someone always have to come along a make an otherwise entertaining thread political?
Keith
2026 Audiophile Windows 11 RYZEN THREADRIPPER 3960X 4.5GHZ 128 GB RAM 2 Nvidia RTX 3090s, Vegas,Acid,SoundForge,Izotope Production,Melodyne Studio,SONAR,3 Raven Mtis
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Quote:
Quote:
1) "you'd EXPECT the economy to go up and down when a YO-YO is running things..."
2) "President Obama's economic plan will create 2.5 million new jobs. The bad news, they are all for terrorists."
Why does someone always have to come along a make an otherwise entertaining thread political?
comments like these are boiler plate, used in every administration. No matter who is in office the same things get said. Depending on the site you frequent, the exact same jokes might insert George Bush or Barack Obama. Obama just happens to be president at the moment. Three years from now we'll be saying the same things about Hillary.
Last edited by Pat Marr; 08/05/10 08:33 AM.
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Now Pat, that was both funny and scary at the same time!
HP Win 11 12 gig ram, Mac mini Sonoma with 16 gig of ram, BiaB/RB 2026, Reaper 7, Harrison Mixbus 11 , Presonus Audiobox USB96
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"It's only the Blues, when it's happened to you"
"You can't bail me out, My boats already sunk"
" Custer wore an Arrow Shirt, I'm going to a Tea Party"
"it's all political. you can alienate 1/2 the people by the stand you take or... 100% by sitting on the fence"
Just a thought or two. Wyndham
Last edited by Wyndham; 08/05/10 10:31 AM.
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Apprentice
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First post = hilarious.
Second post = stupid.
- Bud
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Ed,
Switch the order around of many of the one-liners and they have better delivery/timing in a blues and/or country music style.
eg.
Putt putt course is filling up with former CEOs.
Mailbox is gettin' full of pre-declined card applications.
250 words is all you can get for a picture nowadays.
25 congressmen lookin' for jobs after Exxon's setting sun.
Border patrol's now busy with the southbound strays.
etc.
Here's a line from one of my favorite bluesmen, Michael Powers in his song, "Successful Son"....
"Took a train to New York City - and it took me 20 years to get discovered overnight."
See how that delivers the punch in a way that has an arc rather than what would have been a more flat statement like:
"I got discovered overnight after 20 years of waiting in New York City."
You can do the same with pretty much all of these one-liners to give them more zing and memorability.
-Scott
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