Originally Posted by Matt Finley
I sure hope someone here writes a song about biscuits, so this thread can become somewhat ‘music-related’ as per the forum guidelines 😎

Bob the Biscuit Pioneer

In Essex lived a man, a fine chap named Bob,
Who fancied a biscuit while at his job.
He bought a pack from his local shop,
But opening it was a royal flop.

He tugged and pulled with all his might,
But the package resisted and put up a fight.
He tried with his teeth, he tried with his knife,
But this stubborn biscuit pack was causing him strife.

“Blimey!” he said, “This can’t be right,
I just want a biscuit, not a fight!”
He gave one last pull and a hell of a yank,
When finally, his expression went pale and then went blank.

With crumbs on his face and scattered all around,
Bob’s victory was semi-sweet at best, he found.
But he munched his biscuits with a big wide grin,
And vowed he’d never, no never, let them win.

So if you’re in Essex and bump into Bob,
Struggling and wrestling as if he’d been robbed,
Give him a hand, give him a wink or maybe a cheer,
For Mr. Bob is famous, he’s the biscuit pioneer.

Somebody else can supply the chord progression, but I can supply the bass wink


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For me there’s no better place in the band than to have one leg in the harmony world and the other in the percussive. Thank you Paul Tutmarc and Leo Fender.