Hello Folks,
as with many of you, I have a couple or three irons in the fire at present. None is ready for presentation but most are on the right path to get there. THIS song, however, isn't anywhere near it.
Post Vicarn's accurate observations, (mainly due to the vocals being low in the mix because they're shocking and there for not much high end cutting through the mix), I've worked on and raised the vocals a little more & dumped the bvox as they complicated the isuue. I'd still rather have another voice doing it but here's the 3rd edition:
UPDATED UPDATE
UPDATED[color:#6600CC][/color]
As a result of exceedingly generous feedback I've done some vocal retracking, some, actually LOTS & LOTS of noise reduction, sibilant surgery & plosive pulling, have moved the thing on a little bit further:
Version 2
Orig. Version
BASS THING
BIAB provided the platform to build this & helped me in the DAW thanks to the "plugin" which keeps me on track via the chord sheet.
DRUMS are RockHard^16
ORGAN is 4253
PIANO rhythm is 1798 &
PIANO solo parts via 4481 JazzFast.
I added bass & guitars.
The problem is the vocal - on this it's me and it's dreadful but, at this point in time, I've been unable to con, err convince, someone to sing it for me.
The name is, due to the fact that the verse bass line was the basis of an old, slow blues rock number sort of like something from Led Zep 1 or II but that fell over very quickly.
I upped the tempo from 60 to 170 and started again.
Sonically, & thematically, the thing could be thought of as a pastiche of one of my favourite bands from the late 70s and through the 80s. I don't think the chops are good enough to claim pastiche so, perhaps, sloppy distant echo might work.

Your thoughts, suggestions, criticisms and appraisal are sort.

The Lyrics:

Bass Thing

V1 A whirlwind romance of sorts,
I couldn't believe my luck.
Two rooms up three flights
All we had in a rented truck.

PC1 Part wanderlust part wondering,
Part stupidity & fear.
I'd give you the shirt off my back
But we'd just end up back here

C1 The windows still need cleaning
I can't see through the pane.
I've lost all my deposit
'Cos I can't go back again.

V2 You balked, all I did was talk.
When I talk, I'm not listening
I'm the sort, not caught short,
A full glass at the christening. .

PC2 Part wanderlust part wondering,
Part stupidity & fear.
You'd hide when my mood was black
Kept up a cheap veneer

C2 The windows still need cleaning
I can't see through the pane.
I've lost all my deposit
'Cos I can't go back again.

solo
V3 A quote for each occasion,
I choke when words are real.
You hoped for better days,
My stink the kitchen sink concealed

PC3 Part wanderlust part wondering,
Part stupidity & fear.
My face was blank, I walked the plank
You became the mutineer.

C3 The windows don't need cleaning
But I can't see through the pain.
I've lost all my deposit
'Cos she won't come back again.

Last edited by rayc; 10/19/24 07:47 PM.
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe