Run the songs through a DAW with a mastering plug that can adjust to a specific level. Then you should also test it by playing the song to verify.
All the songs on the radio are set to certain standards so you, the listener, aren't constantly grabbing the volume knob. Do the same thing with your music
+1
That was the answer for me.
After working with some mastering plug ins in my DAW I was able to output MP3's (or Wav or FLAC, etc) of my backing tracks with very consistent volume levels.
I have almost 200 tracks and i would NEVER think of adjusting volume for the tracks on stage. I set them at setup/soundcheck and never touch them the rest of the night.
Early on I used mp3Gain to adjust my mp3's to a consistent volume. As I got better in the DAW I could hit the right output levels without mp3Gain. Now I use it from time to time to confirm my work is still on target.