PG Music Home Forums General Discussion User Showcase Last Curtain Call

Last Curtain Call

It's the weight of the world
you're wearing on your shoulders (you will wear)
like some martyr's crown (it will wear you down)
in all caps and bold
the tales of your trials will be handed down

in philosophy
the wisdom of your writings will be there to see
discernment of a sage (discernment, sophia!)
with soundness and clear vision
it warms our hearts when we hear

   but the truth is you can't see
   the forest for the trees
   you just burn them down

   when the cold wind blows
   everyone who knows
   better turn around

   these things that you say
   fade away when darkness falls
   another day somehow slipped away
   the last curtain call

it's the way of the world
you see the same old story,
see the same old play

the trumpet will sound
everyone will bow down
time to turn the page

your philosophy
ain't gonna set me free
like some fantasy (your fantasy)

the devil gets his due
and he shows up right on cue
but he looks a lot like you

   these lies that we can't believe
   they're only make believe
   just turn them down

   the cold wind blows
   everyone who knows
   better turn around

   the lies that you say
   are washed away when hard rain falls
   another day somehow slipped away
   it's our last curtain call

The Story

I started working on this a while ago, and found it again recently. I had some dummy lyrics on it, and threw more lyrics at it and hoped they would stick. I'm not terribly happy with it, as it's basically an anodyne and toothless protest song. I'd have preferred to have written something with more substance, but I haven't posted anything in a long time, and my kids said was worth finishing, so... here it is.

I see someone posted a song the other day with a similar title. Great minds think alike?

I don't recall coming up with the chord progression, but it's mostly circle of fifth stuff with lots of major7th chords - jazz lite, I guess.

I worked on the lyrics for more time that I care to admit, but sometimes you make early choices that work you into a corner. At some point I had to decide if I was going to tear it down and start again, or just live with it. So I decided to just let it go and get something done and not get so precious about it.

And yes, I rhymed "believe" with "believe". I expect the rhyme police will be knocking at my door any moment to issue a citation.

I replaced the drum track with drums from UJam's Legend kit, using the patterns. I simplified them a bit, but if I had the energy, I'd go back and add some flams and maybe a few crashes.

I tried replacing the guitars with some sampled guitars, but didn't like the results. There is a bit where a UJam guitar is playing, but it's so short that it's barely noticeable. Bringing the 12 string to the front of the mix was a last-minute decision. While putting together the list of instruments for this, I noticed that the piano was MIDI, so I went back and exported the MIDI track. I first tried using the Alicia's Keys piano and panned it against the other, but in the mix it had no effect. So I added some effects, and eventually got it to sounds like an electric piano. I could have just used an electric piano patch, but I thought it was amusing to go the long route instead. So the regular piano is in the first half, and the faux-electric in the second half.

The intro is just an attempt to do something different. I wanted more of stereo ping-pong effect, so I might go back an fix it later. But it's late and I'm tired.

As with most of my songs, the chorus is much too long. The chorus is so long that there isn't even time for a third verse or a repeat of the chorus. There's no instrumental hook, either.

Putting together the harmonies was, as usual, a bit of a grind, but also the most rewarding part. There are some spots where overlapping vocal make it impossible to make out what's being said, so I guess it's a good thing I posted the lyrics.

Yes, there are some dissonances in the vocals, and they sometimes rub a bit against the chords a bit much. In some places my ears have gotten used to them, while in others, they really should have been fixed. The chorus runs through some loosely related chords (Amaj7/Emaj7/Gmaj7/Dmaj7) but I went with my ear trying to keep each line as sensible as possible with as many voices as there were. There's a lot of voice exchange and very little doubling, and I was likely a bit too creative.

After going through the mix a number of times, I tried to cut out instruments so there wasn't too much going on. It probably needs additional work, but I figured I'd post it and get some feedback.

All suggestions are welcome!

Edit: I've cut back on some of the overlapping lyrics.

BiaB Instruments

Style is =NEALG.STY (Neal - Even 16ths Acoustic Count)
Custom MIDI Style: 1 Acoustic Piano (=PIANO_F.STY [AB])
RealTracks in style: ~362:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming Ev 085
RealTracks in song: 4818:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm SteadyPushMuted ev 110
RealTracks in song: 4515:Guitar, Baritone Electric, Rhythm BroCountryPop8thsGritSteady Ev 110
RealTracks in song: 3226:Guitar, 12-String Acoustic, Rhythm CelticSongwriterQuinn Ev16 080

Vocals: SynthesizerV Studio 2: Kevin 2, Oscar 2, Sheena 2, Saros 2, Felicia 2, Sheena

Effects

Vocal Chain: GS VoiceCentric, Valhalla Vintage Verb (Chorus Space), Fame Studio (Vocals/Gtrs)
Drum: UJam Legend (Soeder De Berg) Tight/Worn Kit
El Gtr: (Intro) UJam Retro Finisher (Dimensional Chorus), Finisher Voodoo (Musheen), Finisher Voodoo (Slo Mo Sweep)
El. Gtr: UJam Retro Finisher (Dimensional Chorus), Finisher Voodoo (Musheen)
Bass: Waves RBass
12 String Guitar: UJam Retro (Scanner Ensemble)
Piano: UJam Retro (Dreamer)
Piano: Kontakt (Alicia's Keys) UJam Retro (Soul Signal Chain)
Guitar: UJam Amber (You Want This)

Master Track: Waves Magma BB Tubes, HorNET ThirtyOneMKII, EZMix 3 (Modern Pop Master Softer)

David,

Jim Steinman would have approved of that opening. Very cool.

The voices sound great - separated and mixed perfectly. Great song, arrangement, tracks selections and absolutely love the drums.

Excellent!

Bob

It's very obvious you spent a lot of time and effort on this. Especially on the voices.

I'm not sure that the voices work well on the chords you have them singing. There seemed to be some dissonance in places between the underlying chords and the vocal notes. Lite jazz chords are good in the proper places but for voices, over the music.... maybe not so much. I was thinking this would be interesting as an accapella arrangement and might work better that way. But ...all that said, the chords and the vocals make for some very interesting and unpredictable changes that keep me interested and waiting to see what comes next.

Just a suggestion on the lyrics......

these lies that we can't believe
they're only make believe
just turn them down

These lies that are now belief
Are temporary pain relief
Just turn them down.

Well done.

David, great to see/hear you back. First, and most important, rhyming "can't believe" and "make believe" is perfectly fine in my freewheeling rhyming dictionary. So no ticket from me.

It's certainly an ambitious composition, and very well crafted, and it sounds GREAT with a lot of interesting movement and clarity. (Did I use the word "and" enough in the previous sentence? Yes, I think I did.) I still found it a challenging listen for some of the reasons you list in your post, but am sure it would sound better with repeat listens. Will do that for sure.

I'm with you on the struggle between making a song "better" and moving on. Sometimes you just have to stick a fork in it. Sometimes...over and over again.

Nice song, with beautiful harmonies that aren't always perfect, but certainly serve their purpose.
The overlapping vocals are a nice idea, but it is indeed hard to follow the main vocals, I would reconsider.
Call/response would probably be easier to understand and more pleasant to the ears.

But all in all, it's quite an interesting song that's worth fine-tuning.

I agree. I did have a hard time following the lead myself.
I also thing this is a diamond in the rough and with a little polish it would be brilliant.

Hi nDav id,

i think it's a great song but needs a touch more polish. An earlier poster. suggested a call and response with the vocals. I, too, think that would be a choice to consider.
On the backing tracks part, I think you're fine as is. Just the vocals need another glance or two.

I used to bowl on Wednesday evenings until Di's health took the recent downward turn. Most of the people there know I create music and write novels. A couple of them asked me when I knew I was finished with a novel or a song. I told them: "When I get sick and tired of rewriting it".

Anyway, I think you have a really good project to tinker with as you see fit. It doesn't need much - as little spit and polish here and there.

Alan

David, always fascinated by your work, esp the vocal/BGVs..you've created a thick, lush audio texture that is so interesting. I esp like all of your side notes, very helpful!! In listening, most of my ear was tuned into the vocals, so I'd say that any reservations you have about the instrumental backing are nits that went largely unnoticed. Regarding the "rhyming" issue, I'm really strict on that, but I think that "can't believe" and "make believe" would be accepted by most traditionalists, kind of like "show more" and "know more" would be OK. My only issue is the ending doesn't really meet the standards that the rest of the track set up. Maybe instead of what you have, make an accapela final 2-bar phrase--after all, the vocal ensemble is the gem of this, so why not finish it off with a vocal flourish? Thanks for posting!

David, you had me at the intro! That backstory was so intriguing, I was practically vibrating with anticipation for the sonic payoff. And let me tell you, the payoff delivered!

Lyrically, you're not just painting a picture, you're commissioning a freaking Jackson Pollock. Seriously, lines like "'but the truth is you can't see --- the forest for the trees --- you just burn them down' and 'when the cold wind blows -- everyone who knows --better turn around'"? Pure gold! Quoting them all would take up more space than my grocery list... and honestly, I'm a little envious. Consider my lyric-writing license revoked. ✋︎

The backing vocals are doing the tango around the melody, and the harmonies are smoother than a freshly manicured ice rink. I'm getting serious Rubber Soul-era, John Lennon-esque vibes, but with a delicious helping of that slightly-fuzzy, "recorded-on-a-4-track-in-a-dusty-attic" lo-fi charm. It's like you've unearthed a sonic time capsule, dusted it off, and given it a knowing wink.😎

Honestly, you could call this thing "Last Curtain Call Suite" – it's got enough movements and sonic shifts to fill a triple bill. And here's my official decree: do not change a single solitary note. Intentionally messy or a happy accident, you've stumbled upon something truly special. This isn't just a song; it's a wonderfully weird, slightly-bent, utterly captivating minor masterpiece. ♕

Consider me a fan. I Love It!!! 💗

Jazz-lite indeed. Hey, those lyrics you threw at it are perfect --AND have substance, David. The vocals are so well done. Man, you are so good at that intricate stuff. Know what you mean about being backed into a corner with lyrics. Glad you stuck with this. Hey, Hamilton will give you a precedence to quote to the rhyme police; they rhymed subject with subject four times in the same line.

Third listen now... The opening reminds me of Beatles. Dang, I can imagine writing all of those intricate harmony lines, and you say you cut back some. Haha. That's why I'm on my 3rd spin. This is totally brilliant, David. Please don't rely on your kids to know what's good enough. Yeah, I love this one, David.

David,
Very detailed pop tune. I like the tremolesque start and ending. Interesting vocal harmonies, but I prefer these a bit simpler. Solid work on drums, I also have that kit. I would bring vocals down and band up. Thank you for sharing.
Misha.

Hi, Bob.
Ha!

I wanted to add a bit of punch to the intro. I had the electric guitar track there, and decided to fiddle with it. It may not match the rest of the track, but at least it gets your attention.


Thanks! I appreciate that, especially coming from you.

Hi, Herb.
If only the amount of time spent on a song made it proportionally good.

I agree. I think it was an experiment worth doing, and learning from. The mix in the SynthV editor was much lower, so the voices were more dominant.

I did go back and fix some of the more obvious "bum" notes. But I figured I'd let the song be what it wanted to be, and not fight it too much.

Yeah, I was seeing how much of the harmony I could pile onto the voices. At the point where they were disagreeing with the instruments - which were already dissonant - it seems that dropping the instruments would be the better move.

Thanks!

I'll rarely accept lyrics from other people, mostly because there was a reason I picked particular words, and am too stubborn to let them go even when the don't work. But I really enjoy seeing the direction that other people would have taken them.

Plus, it tells me where they lyrics are weak.

I appreciate the helpfully critical feedback!

Hi, Ron.

It's good to be back. I've been working on a non-music project for a couple of months, and it's going to continue eating up my time. I finally had to stop and make myself work on music before another month went by.

One of the problems is trying to figure out if "fixing" the quirkiness of the song will destroy the best part of it. It's a bit of a mess, what with all these vocals vying for attention, and trying to make everyone heard. The underlying progression is actually quite lovely, but you've never know that from the melody.


Thanks! I think I'll let this one sit for a while. The right thing to do is probably to remove most of the vocals and trust that the melody can carry the song. That means getting rid of most of the harmonies, and using them sparingly where I do keep them.

Hi, B.D.

Thanks! They serve their purpose, but I'm not sure they serve the song.

I've gone back and brought down the vocals, dropped a few, and used TrackSpacer so the melody would dominate. It probably still needs a lot more pruning.

Oh, 100%. Typically, there's room for that. The vocals were shoehorned in after the fact, and it shows.

Thanks! I'll consider doing a remix.

Hi, Mario.
Thanks! After reading your comments, I've removed some of the more obvious offenders.

It likely needs a more dramatic re-do, but hopefully it's somewhat improved.

Hi, Alan.

If there were room - and those bits added enough value - I'd do that.

As it is, I've tried to remove the main issues.

Heh. It's like the question of when an album is done - when you run out of money!

Thanks! I've made some minor tweaks, but I suspect a more drastic cutting on the harmonies is what's called for. But that's for some other time.

Thanks for stopping to listen and comment!

Hi, Tom.
I suspect you heard the remix.

Heh. I had initially thought of doing an instrumental fade, but that song was already long enough. Then I had a quick chaotic ending where the instruments stopped at different points, with an acoustic guitar that kept strumming until it stopped. You know, the standard BiaB ending. It was cool, but I finally went with a short ending.

I did consider a vocal tag, but was a bit burnt out at that point. If I go back for a remix, I'll certainly give it more thought.

Thanks for listening and the suggestions!

Hi, Mssr. Serious.

I'm glad you liked it.

Well, that's likely more accurate than you intended.

All right, I'm going to have to stop you there. While that was kind of you to say, in my mind that's the problem with the lyrics - it's recycling cliches and relatively easy rhymes.

But that's a me problem, because sometimes those cliches and rhymes are exactly what a song needs.

Consider your license reinstated, with honors.

Well, that "lo-fi" vibe was what I was aiming for, so I'm glad that came through.

I'm glad you enjoyed the song it all it's messy quirkiness.

Thanks for listening and all your kind words!

Hi, Marty.

Thanks!


Ha!

I'm glad you liked it!

You misunderstand. My daughter was the one who told me to finish it up. Not her style at all, but it was worth finishing. She did like the change in rhythm in the chorus, though.

Thanks for listening and taking the time to comment!