It's very obvious you spent a lot of time and effort on this. Especially on the voices.

I'm not sure that the voices work well on the chords you have them singing. There seemed to be some dissonance in places between the underlying chords and the vocal notes. Lite jazz chords are good in the proper places but for voices, over the music.... maybe not so much. I was thinking this would be interesting as an accapella arrangement and might work better that way. But ...all that said, the chords and the vocals make for some very interesting and unpredictable changes that keep me interested and waiting to see what comes next.

Just a suggestion on the lyrics......

these lies that we can't believe
they're only make believe
just turn them down

These lies that are now belief
Are temporary pain relief
Just turn them down.

Well done.

You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com
Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.