So... I really like the advice and the message in the lyrics. Great job on that.

Musically, I think you can drop the drums totally. It's too slow to really need a "drum" track. However, that does not preclude the use of well placed bass drum hits or even tympani as this progresses. Maybe even a cymbal crescendo, again, properly placed for effect.


You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com
Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.