Hi, James.

Well, this sounds like you, that's for sure. laugh

The use of a blues guitar here is inspired. The chorus works well, as does the harmonies at the end.

I've got some... thoughts. wink

I don't think the verse works well when you lock the singers into a rhythmic pattern like you did. There's a suspension of disbelief that takes place in music (and other arts) were we ignore artifice for the sake of artistic effect. For example, we'll accept singing in a metered and rhymed form, so long as it has some of the trappings of naturalness.

But for me forcing the lyrics into that pattern in the verse put word stress in the wrong place and made them hard to understand, seemingly for the purpose of the rhythmic pattern which didn't seem to serve any particular purpose.

In contrast, the end harmonies were also artificial, but were pretty, so it got a thumbs up there. wink

Obviously, people will come to a song with different expectations, and you've got different expectations than me. And your opinion (and you're Mom's) is more important than mine. smile

Anyhoo, nice job despite any nits on my part!

-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?